Wednesday, September 30, 2009
We don't have a court date yet.....
I am really handling this wait in a completely different way from pre-referral wait.
I actually quit chewing my fingernails after we got Ade's referral.
But I have started again in the last couple of weeks.
I am definitely internalizing this wait...
You will know I am doing this if when you see me I am staring off into space and my lips are moving ever so slightly. Yvan tells me I do this when I am in deep thought....which I'm in a lot lately.
So, if we are talking and I zone out it is because I am wondering the following things simultaneously:
1. When we will get a court date?
2. Will we have to wait a long time to get one?
3. Will we hear about our date right away?
4. Will we pass on the first try?
5. I wonder if all the paper work is in order?
6. What is Ade doing right now?
7. Will we be good parents?
8. What color should we paint his room?
9. When will they tell us about about our court date?
10. What type of crib should we get?
11. Will I ever get over my fear of purchasing diapers?
12. Will Ade look at us and cry because he knows we have no clue about being parents?
13. When we will get a court date?
14. When we will get to travel to Ethiopia?
15. and it goes on, trust me it goes on, and on like this.
So, I have taken to chewing my fingernails again. I have also been getting cold sores...which I haven't gotten in a long, long time...these are usually stress induced and is a good indicator to me about how much I am stressing about court and didn't even know it.
Posting about our trip to New York has been a good distraction...it keeps me from boring you with awful nail chewing and repeated pondering of "When will we get a court date?" Although I am sure some of you are bored of our New York photos but it is good therapy for me.
Well, I have to go and pretend to do something...but really all I will be doing is wondering:
1. When will we get a court date?
2. Will we have to wait a long time?
3. Will we hear about our date right away?
4...oh wait I already did this.....
Tuesday, September 29, 2009
Yvan and his favourite building
Parking anyone? Yup, this is parking...and to get the car on the top...you got to move both cars below and then put them back again...it only costs about $34 per half hour! Yikes!
Uh, would you like a helicopter to go with your yacht. Why yes! Yes, I would!
Chillin' in Washington Square Park Jazzin' it up!
Music, music, music everywhere!View of the Empire State Building from our hotel room at night!
We were so tired after our day we crashed early!!!
But not before we ate some delicious Mexican food in the village :)
Monday, September 28, 2009
We strolled thru the streets making our way to the World Trade Center site.
*EDIT* - I forgot to write about our Saturday night!!!
We went to see a Broadway musical - A real, live Broadway Musical!!! In the theatre district...by crazy, insane, bright, crowded Times Square.
First we went for supper at the oldest Indian restaurant in New York City. It was on the second floor of a very narrow, slanted building. It was highly recommened to us and after we got used to the sensation of sitting on an angle -I kid you not the slant to the place was hilarious....we had one of the best Indian meals ever!!!
Then we ran over to the Al Hirschfield theatre (if you know us you know we are almost always late for everything!) to see HAIR the Musical!
It was amazing! The best Musical I have ever seen. The talent of the cast was amazing and it was so interactive...they kept coming out in to the audience singing and dancing and jumping on chairs.
Yvan even really liked it and he does not really dig the musicals. I did woo him with the idea that there would be a tad bit of nudity in the show which always helps :)
I think the people behind us who talked thru the entire first half didn't like the nudity - they didn't come back for the second half much to our relief.
Friday, September 25, 2009
We absolutely fell in love with this city. You always hear people saying "New York is the greatest city on earth"...well they are pretty much bang on. I can say for me it was one the best cities I have ever visited..Yvan would probably say the same.
I have never visited a place so alive...you can feel it, see it, hear it, smell it! It is hard to put it in words so photos will have to do.
So, we took a ton of photos - it will take some time for me to post some of our favourites (there are a lot) and you might not want to see them all and if you want you can skip those posts feel free but there are some gooders and there will be a HUGE celebrity sighting (actually celebrities) that I think some will want to gander at....turns out I blend in quite well with the Paparazzi - ha!
We stayed in the Garment District -across the street from Madison Square Gardens and 2 blocks from Macy's. We were 2 or 3 blocks from 2 different subway lines and we used them a lot!!! The subway rocks!!!
September 11 - very sobering to be in New York on this 8th Anniversary. When we were getting ready in the morning we were watching the names being read down at the WTC. We didn't go - it was raining and we didn't want to be the tourists taking photos of people in mourning and rememberance.
It was raining so we decided to hit a museum....hopped on the subway and ta da!
We ended our day by going to see a taping of "Late Night with Jimmy Fallon". For some reason we decided to walk the 20 blocks to Rockafeller Plaza where the NBC Studios are located. On a nice day it would be a lovely walk but it was raining hard and it was rush hour (which is why we walked too hard to get a cab). After a couple of umbrella blow outs we arrived - soaked!! They keep the studios quite cold because of the lights for the stage but we still enjoyed ourselves immensely.
Jimmy Fallon is AWESOME and nice to look at - his guest that night was Russell Brand.
That guy. Hilarious! We laughed our @#%#@ off!
Then we headed out for some of New York's best Italian - sigh!
The food in New York - Amazing! We ate a lot!
Tuesday, September 22, 2009
Most of the stuff in the package is stuff we already know. The travel side of things anyways as we travel a lot.
However, the baby side of things....well, we need some work on that.
It's not that I don't think we can do it!
I know we can but when you read the list of things you need for baby....OY! It makes my head hurt.
Seriously folks, I get all sweaty and nervous whenever I walk into the diaper aisle...kinda like this:
Do you know how many types, sizes, shapes and smells diapers come in!?
Not to mention bottles!!!
And don't even get me started on nipples!!!
So, I ordered this book:
"The Mother of all Baby Books: An All-Canadian Guide to Your Baby's First Year"
I have ordered all the prerequisite books on attachment and bonding...but I had yet to order a book about the ins and outs of life with a baby.
The reason being was that all the books are geared towards families who have raised a baby from birth.
This is obviously not our case as our son will be a year or more when we bring him home.
But as I sat on the airplane last week, I became acutely aware of all the families with babies also travelling. I watched these mothers with great interest as they balanced baby, toys, snacks, bottles, diapers all while seated in a space that most people can hardly cross their legs in let alone have to share said seat with a wriggly, exploring, pooping, eating, drooling, smiling, cooing, cute-as-a-button baby.
I wondered how these mothers were such pros and where did they learn it from? Well, I know part of it is just intuitive...the mother's natural instinct...part of it is trial and error with many pulling-out-of-the-hair moments I am sure, but also those mothers probably read some too.
So, I sucked it up and ordered the book because it is probably wise that we get acquainted with the stages our son has been thru, is going thru right now and will be at when we go and get him. (I also have to admit that I read on a wise woman's blog who is not a Mother Failure what she wished she had done more of and reading books on babies one was of them - thank you for that invaluable piece of advice)
My mom has suggested a couple of times, very nicely I might add, that some parenting classes might be a good idea. I mean it is true...we should take them...we have been living the baby free life for a while now.
Again it has been one of those things where we worry we will be the only ones in the class either:
A.) Not visibly pregnant
B.) Without kids at home to vent about and use as examples during these parenting classes.
C.) Looking completely dazed and confused (not mention sweaty and nervous)
D). All of the above.
So, I will suck it up and start looking again for some classes - only now we know we have a timeline of sorts not like before we had the referral when we had no clue as to how long things could take. We still don't know how long exactly things will take but we know it won't be as long as our wait for our referral (touch wood).
So, over the next few months I will post here asking you all for advice on what kinds of diapers, formula, snack foods, bottles (and the dreaded nipples), sleeping advice, potty training advice (and who knows what else).
Because I know it takes a village to raise a child and you, my lovelies, are my village :)
P.S. If anyone wants to take advantage of some free babysitting services give us a call..we could use hands on practice.
P.P.S. I also need some personal shoppers - so if anyone wants to spend a day breaking me out of my paralysis of fear when I hit the diaper aisle....let me know...lunch will be on me!
Friday, September 18, 2009
and let me tell you what a homecoming we received...new photos AND video!!
You should have seen the tears at our house last night!!!
More to come when we are recovered from our holiday :)
Sunday, September 6, 2009
Lisa and Jason and Jenn and Dave are in Ethiopia picking up their sweet kids and they got to see Ade!!!
Jenn's email yesterday morning had me crying tears of joy! I actually scared Yvan when I yelped very loudly when I saw the email from Jenn in my inbox with the title "Your Son is Amazing!"
Oh, my heart is busting! I can't wait to get over there and see him FOR MYSELF!!
They said he entertained them with his smiles and giggles and he is a healthy weight and saw no signs of him being sick anymore. He didn't play shy at all :)
That's our boy! Outgoing like his momma and entertaining like his poppa!!
Oh I get all teary-eyed just writing this post!!
I am so happy our agency allows families who are picking up their kids to see other families kids who are in the foster home!
Lisa would have given Ade his care package - which means so much! He won't know he is looking at his future parents in the photo album we sent but some how just knowing he has it - well.....it makes me feel that much more connected to him.
Thank you to Jenn and Lisa for taking time to see our boy and to email us with a much anticipated update!!
-I am a giant pile of love again this weekend
Thursday, September 3, 2009
The foster home administrator was very pleased at how well he was responding to treatment...he will be getting 5 injections of antibotics, one each day for the next 5 days!
We are relieved but still so anxious!!!
Baby boy we can't wait to get you home!!!
Thank you to everyone for your kind words, prayers and positive energy!! It is working - keep it coming!
Wednesday, September 2, 2009
The first part, the waiting for a referral bit, was stressful because it took so long and it seemed like it might never happen.
Then it did!
And we saw our son's face for the first time.
We both carry pictures with us to show people
To look at whenever we want.
We have photos of him around our house so we can gaze into his gorgeous big, brown eyes and dream of the day we are holding him in our arms.
I don't think either of us feel stressed anymore or at least it is a different kind of stress - preparation stress.
We are relieved to know who are son is.
Excited to see how he will fit into our life with us and how we will fit into his.
But vulnerable, because now we know him.
We love him!
He is ours!
You don't realize how much you love this little person until you get a phone call saying he is sick and has been taken to the hospital and they aren't sure what is wrong just that he wasn't himself.
The love, it washed over us both and the fear that we might lose this little guy before we even got to meet him brings tears of worry, sadness and anxiousness.
We feel vulnerable while we wait by the phone for an update - an afternoon and an evening pass...the morning comes and we get the news we hoped we would hear....
He is improving but still not sure what is wrong.
More answers will come tomorrow.
The next day comes and we are told he has improved even more and they know he has pneumonia and are treating him for it.
Vulnerable because we can't be there to hold his hand.
Let him know we love him.
Hug him and cuddle him and tell him he will be alright!
Helpless because there is nothing we can do from here.
Thankfully he is the hands of people who care!!! They are doing everything they can to make sure he is taken care of and loved for us.
We were handling the wait to bring him home well, it had only been a month since we saw him for the first time...we thought it won't be so bad...this wait to bring him home.
But now...all we want is to bring him home tomorrow!
Vulnerable because we have to be patient and know that he is doing much, much better but still yearning to be with him.
Vulnerable because we know, so far, we are lucky...he is alive.
Vulnerable when we hear the news of another family whose sweet baby boy didn't make it. We send that family our deepest condolences and heartfelt sympathies because no one should ever have to go through that. Losing a child. Beyond comprehension.
The love we have for our children before we even meet them...that love! Is very strong!!!
Until he is safe and sound in our arms...the next few months will have us feeling vulnerable.