Wednesday, July 20, 2011

Meeting Great Blogger Friends

Since I started blogging 3 1/2 years ago, I have had the pleasure of "meeting" some really fantastic people.

I put "meeting" in quotations because a great deal of these people live far away in another city, province or country and I have not met them in person.

Most of the time the friendships have been "online" friendships which have grown from following each other's blogs.

Some people I have started emailing regularly with and on the odd occasion the friendship has moved to a "we talk on the phone" friend.

Talking on the phone friendships are special to me because it seems in this day and age no one talks on the phone anymore. They email or text but don't actually converse and hear the sound of each other's voices. It makes me a little sad.

The best part of these "cyber" friendships is when I get to meet someone in person. And for the most part when I meet that person they are just as lovely if not lovelier than I imagined.

There is always an element of "Will we have something to say to each other?" when we meet. Looking into someones eyes and actually seeing their facial expressions can be intimidating.

Plus if the person you are meeting doesn't have a blog or doesn't post pictures there is always the "I pictured you one way and you are totally different from that image."

And a photo or series of, does not truly represent who someone is as meeting them does. I mean meeting someone allows you to see them in action.

Right here where I live some of those friendships have grown quite close and I am so thankful for that.

This past weekend I had the pleasure of meeting a person I have "known" for a while. For the life of me, I can't remember how we started following each other's blogs. It seems as though she was just always there. We moved to emailing and again not sure how that happened but if I don't get an email from her every couple of weeks I feel sad.

One day she called me. She took a leap of faith, picked up the phone and dialed my number. I'm pretty sure she wasn't expecting to get the crazed, crying gal on the other end but she did. She could have said "I'll call you another time" and hung up, never to be heard from again. But she didn't. Instead she listened to me talk about my post adoption depression and she let me get it all out.

And she was there for me over the last few months as I dealt with it.

It seemed only right that we meet. And so we did. And it wasn't awkward at all. Oh sure, there is that initial "Will this turn out o.k." fear. But when we opened the gate to her house she was there, arms open, waiting with a giant hug and I knew it would be o.k.

Plus our toddler boys fell instantly into like with each other.

So thanks Tova, for being my friend. It is a pleasure and an honour to know you and to have not just you but your entire family! And over Sushi to boot!!!!

Monday, July 18, 2011

"Adoption? What does Adoption Mean?"

Said the teenage girl to me as wee one and I waited to board our flight.

Her head tilted to one side with a quizzical look on her face.

Back up a few moments to where this conversation began.

Ade and I had been in Vancouver to visit my mom, family and some friends.

We were sitting in the boarding lounge waiting for pre-boarding to begin for our flight home.

I noticed a young, teenaged girl watching us and smiling.

Eventually she made her way over to us and stood right beside me.

I'm talking Jerry Seinfeld "Close Talker" close.

Ade was sitting on my lap facing me and I was swinging him backwards over my legs so he was looking upside down at the floor. A game he loves.

As I would swing him up, she would try to touch his head.

I would swing him back down to avoid her touching him.

Finally, I just held him close to me and sort of turned away so she couldn't touch him.

She left.

5 minutes later...she came back.

Curiosity got the better of her I guess.

She kept saying "He's so cute!" over and over again.

She touched his hair and whispered "So curly."

Finally she got up the nerve to talk to me.

"Where is his mom?" she asked.

"I'm his mom." I said.

"Where is his dad?", she quizzed further.

Quietly I said, "His dad is at home." guessing where this was going.

"Is his dad African?", she pressed.

"No, he isn't." I said as nicely as I could.

Insert the weirdest look someone has ever given me. In retrospect, I think she was trying to comprehend how 2 Caucasian people could have a Black child.

"Where is he from?" she kept on.

"Ethiopia." I answered.

"How come you have him?" she boldly asked.

At this point there are a group of people close enough to hear our conversation. She is a young girl. I don't want to be rude to her. But now all the prickly ears listening are making me feel like we are in a microscope being carefully inspected.

"We adopted him." I proudly answered. "Where are you from?" I queried her back.

"China.", she pauses for a moment. "Adoption? What is adoption?"

Her question dumbfounded me. For a couple of reasons.

1. She's from China. Which has one of the largest adoption programs in the world. And she doesn't know what adoption means.

I have been to China and it only took me a moment to factor in that the government wouldn't be broadcasting it to the public.

2. I didn't know how to answer her. That's right. I was stumped. I know what adoption means but how do you explain to someone on the spot like that. Someone whose English was good but not good enough to understand fully what I was saying.

So I said, " Adoption is where a child is born to someone but raised by someone else."

"This means he is our son." I said.

She didn't seem to understand or want to push further. It might also be that we were called to board our flight or her mother finally called her over. I can't remember.

What out conversation left me with was a question unanswered.

What does adoption mean? Because I think this is what bugs me when people ask me if our son is adopted and we tell them yes and then they ask where his parents are.

It bugs me because I just told you he is adopted which means we are his parents.

Merriam-Webster's say it is "the act or process of adopting someone or something: such as a : the act or process of adopting a child."

That sounds cold and calculated. Unfeeling and without love or joy attached to its meaning.

And no where in there does it talk about parenting.

To me......

Adoption means love!

And parenting.

It means sad times mixed in with good times.

Hardships and uncertainty.

Dreams finally come true.

Giggles and guffaws!!

Diaper changes, midnight soothing of a nightmare, eating breakfast before 8.

Delightment when a task that has eluded is accomplished like stacking blocks, riding a trike or the brushing of teeth.

Adoption is growth. From 2 people to 3, inches on the wall, shoe sizes doubled and finally being able to reach the kitchen counter top for whatever goodies await.

Knees scraped and owies kissed and great, big family hugs to end the day.

To me adoption encompasses all these things and so much more....

To me adoption means....


One Papa, one mama, one wee one!

Wednesday, July 13, 2011

Sunday, July 10, 2011

A Wee Weezer Fan

I think I have mentioned before that we have Apple T.V. It allows us to stream our music from our computer to our t.v.s through our stereos.

It also shows the album art for each album we are playing if we have the cover downloaded which we usually do.

In the morning when we are getting ready for the day we play music.

Ade loves music! Loves it!

In particular he loves Vampire Weekend, Wolfmother, Micheal Franti, Mumford and Sons, Musegvbbbbbbf...anything with a good guitar rift and upbeat tempo he rocks out to.

I like Weezer and thought Ade might to. So, I played some of their music for him last week.

Like would be an understatement.


Especially, this album!

Can you guess why?

He loves the music because as soon as we turn on the first song he starts pumping his fists (not unlike Jersey shore - sigh) and jumping up and down around the bedroom.

So, I thought to myself if he loves this Weezer album it would be reasonable to assume he would like other Weezer albums too.

So, I played another one.

This one in fact.

And I would be wrong in my assumption.

He was NOT having it.

He pointed at the t.v. and demanded "PUPPY!"

So, back to this album again

And really! Who doesn't like to rock out with a puppy hurtling across the t.v. screen.

So, now we dance party away to Weezer in the mornings!

We have started to teach him how to air guitar too...that will have to be a video post one day because it is AWESOME!

Monday, July 4, 2011


My mom spent the long weekend with us! She lives in a land far, far away.

She left this morning and now I am very sad!

We always have so much when she is around.

So here is something to lift my spirits and maybe yours too.

Friday, July 1, 2011

Confession Friday (Canada Day Edition)

I confess I am proud to be Canadian!

Happy Canada Day!!!