Monday, September 29, 2008

Girl's Weekend Part Two

Saba's Night

Girl's weekend continued last night when I met up with Rhonda, Ricki, Shannon, Cheryl and Shauna for supper at Saba's where we dove into some excellent Ethiopian food!!!

The food- yummmmmmmm

The Gals - after demolishing the food!

Shauna, Shannon and Ricki

Rana, Rhonda and Cheryl

This weekend was much needed - I needed to laugh, cry, and yell with some people who truly understand how I am feeling. I need people to tell me that it is o.k. to be feeling the feelings I have. They don't try to gloss it over with the standard answer "don't worry so much, everything will be fine". There are days when it doesn't feel fine - days when I feel sad - days when all I want to do is cry! They understand - they have been there and they are there to support me thru those days.

Thanks to all the girls who I had the pleasure of spending the weekend with - there are many more I have yet to meet - Hazel, Cinnamon, Ramona, Carolyn, Shelley, Kristen, Sebrina, Danielle, Jody, Tracy, Sheri, Julie, and many others...without the knowledge that you are all standing behind me in this - well - it would be a lot harder.

Cheers to you all!

Sunday, September 28, 2008

Girls Weekend Part 1

Dinner out

Saturday night I had the immense pleasure of spending the evening with Sandi, Rhonda and Dianne. Dianne drove in from Calgary for the weekend. I hadn't met her yet and she is delightful - I can't wait hang out with her again sometime :)

We started the night by going for supper at Keo's for excellent Thai food - it is almost as good as Thailand -almost.

1 Ginger Beef, 1 Chicken Cashew Nut and 2 Phad Thai later - we were stuffed and ready for the next phase of the evening!

Slumber Party

Dessert is served - HELLO!!!! Cheesecake and Brownies - DEEEEELISH!!

Getting ready for dessert and photo ops

Sandi had us all intently listening to something - not sure what might have been this.

The gals in their jammies!

We decided we needed a photo to sum up how we are all feeling during our adoption process thus far!

I would say we all showed our emotions pretty well.

Thanks so much girlies - the evening was full of awesome Phad Thai, dessert, conversation, venting and super cool gal pals!!

We MUST do this again

Stay tuned for Part Two of Girls Weekend! Ya, it has two parts ;)

Wednesday, September 24, 2008

Things To Look Forward To

Well, since I have been a Mopey Martha lately I have decided to post some things I am looking forward to over the next little while.

1. Dynamite Dianne is coming to town this weekend! I am looking forward to meeting one of my blogging buddies and getting to know her in person. It always seems so surreal when you meet someone whose life you have been following and know so much about but haven't met yet. It is like meeting someone famous - you get all tongue-tied and nervous (well I do).

2. Season Premiere Week is alive and well on t.v. Thank goodness for the invention of the PVR - so now we can live our life and still get to watch our favourite shows. I am especially looking forward to the following premieres:

- CSI: Crime Scene Investigation - I have been a faithful viewer of CSI since it started. I have to admit t I have a wee bit of a crush on Gil Grissom (William Petersen) he is so smart and nerdy and doesn't even know he is kinda cute. I am saddened that Gil will be leaving the show this year :( ( ya, we're on a first name basis). I must add that CSI Miami and CSI New York fail in comparison to the original and could someone please tell David Caruso that acting is more than standing sideways with your head tilted!!!! Sheesh!

- Ugly Betty - I love this show. I love it for its over the top color schemes, fun characters and tongue-in-cheek look at the fashion world. I think my favourite characters are Amanda and Marc - they remind me so much of Karen and Jack from "Will and Grace".

-Dexter - Now I know this is a dark show but I love it! I was seriously hooked during the first 5 minutes. I am not sure how they manage to keep the story going as the show is based on a book called "Darkly Dreaming Dexter" and there were no follow up stories. The second season, while not as good as the first, was still pretty amazing so, if they can keep it going thru the third season - well then I will be watching every Sunday! I will kinda miss Doakes though. It amazes me how they can take a serial killer and make him likeable, but they do.

- Get together with the girls - Sunday night I will have the immense pleasure of getting together with the girls - Rhonda, Ricki, Sandi, Cheryl, Shauna, myself and hopefully Shannon, will be sitting down for some good conversation and great Ethio food! Yahoo! I can't wait!!!

-Election time - oh ya, no! I am not excited about the third election for Prime Minster of Canada in 4 YEARS!!! Come on people!!! Or should I say Harper - you coulda waited for another year - and why did you have to go and call an election at the same time as the greatest U.S. Presidential race ever. It is hard to get excited over a lack lustre group of Canadian politicians when you got Obama and McCain to watch!

- Anderson Cooper - With all the hoopla of the election down south I get to see more of Anderson Cooper on T.V. - he's totally my boyfriend!

- Book Club - the on-line book club I am part of is getting ready to start its next books - I am looking forward to more fantastic reads! The lovely Julie has also managed to get Jane Kurtz to "talk" to our book club - or I guess take questions is a better way of putting it. How cool is that!!!

- Madonna - Uh huh, getting more excited by the minute for this concert! What should I wear????? Help!!! Only 1 month and 6 days!!!! He he Cheryl - I just had to taunt ya a little ;)

Well, I think I am feeling a little better now - I have some things to look forward to and keep my mind somewhat off the adoption.

Monday, September 22, 2008

Fall Equinox

The Fall Equinox is upon us. Summer has officially come to an end and fall has arrived.

I am feeling a bit gloomy these days. I think the 10 month blues have set in....I was warned....but I didn't think it would happen. Not to me...I am strong right? Hmmmm...guess I was wrong!

I came across this poem in an article on Marilyn Monroe in Vanity Fair magazine. It is signed by T.S. Eliot but was more likely written by Norman Rosten.

Whoever wrote it sums up quite nicely how I am feeling these days:

"The leaves are turning
from red to gold,
when are you coming home?
We're all getting old."

Wednesday, September 17, 2008


Patience is not one of my stronger virtues. I usually like to see the light at the end of the tunnel. I am not very patient when it comes to knowing what is happening or should I say NOT knowing what is happening. I am a planner....I like to have a plan. I like to know how, when, where, why and who. I am the one in class who will ask a million questions until I get the exact information I need for my brain to process it correctly. I am not very good with stock/generic answers.

I have been struggling this last week with patience. I want to start working on the baby's room. I want to start purchasing clothes, toys, bedding and necessities for our little one. I want to know when we will be travelling so I can start making travel arrangements. I want to be able the answer the question "So, have you heard anything yet?". This past weekend someone asked me this, they just happened to ask it at the exact moment that I was NOT in the mood to answer this question. I apologize to H for my not-so-nice answer.

Our adoption wait is trying the last thread of what little patience I have. Seriously, I need to know at least how much longer we will have to wait. If I knew then I could plan for it - seriously! I WOULD plan for it.

I don't dare ask because I know the answer will be "Well, we can't tell how long these things take" so I won't bother.

Instead - I have decided to post some quotes on patience - I hope they will help me to gain a little of the quality I so admire in others. Oooooh! I should put some of these on my vision board (I will talk about that another time).

"Patience is waiting. Not passively waiting. That is laziness. But to keep going when the going is hard and slow - that is patience." - Unknown

"The secret of patience is doing something else in the meanwhile" - Unknown

"Patience is not passive; on the contrary, it is active; it is concentrated strength" - Edward G. Bulwer-Lytton

"Life is all about timing...the unreachable becomes reachable, the unavailable become available, the unattainable...attainable. Have the patience, wait it out. It's all about timing." - Stacey Charter

"Be patient toward all that is unsolved in your heart and try to love the questions themselves. Do not now seek the answers, which cannot be given you because you would not be able to live them. And the point is to live everything. Live the questions." - Rainer Maria Rilke

"The keys to patience are acceptance and faith. Accept things as they are, and look realistically at the world around you. Have faith in yourself and in the direction you have chosen." - Ralph Marston

"Patience is bitter, but its fruit is sweet." - Jean Jacques Rousseau

Wish me luck!

Thursday, September 11, 2008

To Be Sad or Not To Be Sad...

..that is the question.

Am I crazy (for wont of a better word) for being excited that we have almost hit the 10 month mark? It feels like I should be - other people tell me I am.

Truth be told - I am excited! In my heart, I know, we are getting closer to the reality of our long anticipated dream of family. In my heart, I know, a child has or is being born right now who will join our family to make it complete. I can feel it, sense it! As though my maternal instinct has suddenly kicked in.

When we started this journey we were told the wait for a referral would be 2-10 months. That seemed reasonable to us - it seemed reasonable because if we were able to conceive a child biologically we would have to wait nine months anyways...another month beyond that seemed fantastic to us - dream like almost.

However, that has not remained the case - time lines have been extended now to 8-14 months. Every time we have read or heard times have been extended, we have mourned. I have been angry, cursed, shouted, and wept out my frustrations. I read yesterday of a couple of families with similar requests as ours who are at 12 and 12 1/2 months waiting with no referral yet. It breaks my heart because I know the reality is such we will have to wait even longer than the 12 months we had buried in our hearts as hope. We now, once again, have to open the wound and patch it with a new hope. But patch it we will!

I am excited. We are 10 months waiting instead of when we were 2, 4 or 6 months waiting. I am getting closer to the dream of being a mother. Closer to the dream of seeing Yvan as a father - and I know he is going to be the most amazing father. We are closer to the dream of seeing our parents as grandparents.

I am an only child and have laboured many, many tears for my mom and the dream of seeing her with grand kids one day. She doesn't know this but she does now if she is reading this.

I am filled with sadness when I think of the loss our child will have to endure at such a young age in order to join our family. I am not excited by this - to lose so much so young is not right. It does not follow the natural course of life - you are born, you are raised by your parents, you have your own family, you see your family have family. I am not happy our future child will have to move away from their homeland and all the things they know. The sights, sounds, and smells of life as they know it.

Will we be able to help our child thru this process? Will our child love us or resent us? Will others accept our multi-racial family? We have and still are exploring, researching and preparing ourselves for what is yet to come on that end of the spectrum.

I know I can help our child with the loss of a parent. My father left when I was very young. I know what it is like to grieve for a parent. I also know what it is like to gain a new parent such as I did when my mom re-married. The adjustment needed, as well as the bonding and attachment which takes years to achieve. I have a bit of knowledge and experience saved in THAT bank at least.

I am sad our child will lose so much but am happy we will be the ones to show them what family means again. Excited to share their life with them and show them how families can be built in various ways.

I am sad and shocked when I look at the calendar and realize I am 2 months shy of my 37th birthday, and have yet to experience the love of a child. Where did the years go? I still struggle with the fact I may never be able to experience the smell of a newborn baby and or hear the first cry as they enter into world after being born.

I am happy I will get to experience the dawning awareness of a wee one when they realize they are loved and will be safe in our arms and how they need not worry about being alone again. I am happy there will be many other firsts we will get to experience with our child.

Events have unfolded in the last month which allowed us to glimpse and bask ever-so-slightly in the excitement of our upcoming referral. These events foreshadowed how the best has yet to come and also showed us we are, without a doubt, on the exact path we are meant to be on.

I will celebrate our 10 months waiting knowing we will not have to wait another 10 months.

I will be sad! I will be happy! I will experience the rollercoaster and I WILL be stronger for it.

To be sad or not to be that really the question? Not for me...there is likely to be a bit of one and whole lot of the other still to come.

Melkam Addis Amet - Happy New Year!

Tuesday, September 9, 2008


I have been meaning to post about Kiva for a long time. I happened to be perusing some blogs today and I saw another adoptive family who works with Kiva so it me reminded to blog about it.

Yvan and I have been lending money to Kiva for about 2 years now. We love it!! As entrepreneurs ourselves, we know how difficult it is to run your own business. How much work it entails, the commitment level needed and the fact that, well, you are really never able to go home and leave work behind. And this is under the best possible conditions. To do this in an under-developed country must be extremely difficult.

To be able to help entrepreneurs in other countries who might not have the ability to finance their businesses otherwise really tugged at our heartstrings. We have not been disappointed in our choice to work with Kiva.

Kiva (, is a non-profit organization that allows you to lend as little as $25 to a specific low-income entrepreneur in the developing world.

Here is how Kiva explains it -

"You choose who to lend to - whether a baker in Afghanistan, a goat herder in Uganda, a farmer in Peru, a restaurateur in Cambodia, or a tailor in Iraq - and as they repay their loan, you get your money back. It’s a powerful and sustainable way to empower someone right now to lift themselves out of poverty."

When the people pay their loans back you get your money back. You can either cash out or re-loan - it is up to you. Now they have a new system in place where the money paid back is sent to the lenders immediately and you can re-loan that much faster.

The best part for us was that 100% of the money loaned goes directly to the entrepreneur in need!!!!! 100% that is amazing!

Kiva also allows you to send gift certificates to family and friends and they can choose the people they want to loan too.

The world seems so big at times, but these organizations make it possible to extend a helping hand across the world like it was across the street.

Tuesday Inspiration -

"He who obtains has little. He who scatters has much. "

- Lao-Tzu - Father of Taoism

Sunday, September 7, 2008


Today was a big day in our household.

Today we held the TFAYLIHMC


Whew! That's a mouthful hey!

Yvan has been training since June for his second half marathon. I was also supposed to be training but because of a nagging IT issue and a low back injury I had to swap running for physio and weight training.

There was a big half marathon held in Regina this week but Yvan didn't feel like driving down for the race so we held our own.

and so I give you the


Number of participants - One

Number of volunteers - three

Warm Up

The start of the race

On your mark! Get Set!


HALF WAY MARK AND GATORADE STATION (provided by Moi and les cheins)


FINISHING TIME - 1:48:10 - an 11 minute improvement over his first half marathon!

Whoot!!! and done all on his own without other racers, the crowd etc. to keep the ole adrenaline up.

Yvan would like to thank all those who helped make this race possible!

We hope to double our participant numbers next year!!!!

Friday, September 5, 2008

Inspiration on Friday

I haven't posted any inspiration since I did the "40 Days of Change" I miss the daily inspiration I used to get from my yoga instructor.

So, I said to myself "Self, why don't you just find the inspiration and post it yourself". Wow, I am so smart - SMRT!!! (and yes, I have in the past watched way to much Simpson's).

To me the inspiration reminds me to continue to remain positive, which is hard some days, and to live in the moment. Living in the moment has been difficult as of late, especially as we get up there in the waiting game....I am starting to daydream about the "the call" again so I need to ground myself back in the present day!

I think I will post something every week but I won't have a specific day - that is waaaaaay to organized for a gal like me - I will just do it randomly when I come across something worthy of sharing.

and so here you have it:

"Why are we inspired by another person's courage? Maybe because it gives us the sweet and genuine surprise of discovering some trace, at least, of the same courage in ourselves."

Laurence Shames - Author

Happy Friday Everyone!

Oh and go on over to Cinnamon's blog and wish her a safe and happy journey to E! She leaves this weekend to bring her baby home! OMG this is just so exciting!!!

Monday, September 1, 2008

New Fall Clothes and the Gals

We bought some new fall clothes....but not for us!

We found these cute dog coats at our local farmer's market and couldn't resist....

and....they are reversible!!!! So, two looks in one :)

And then these gals..... together this weekend to celebrate this gal and her last couple of weeks as a single lady.

We showered her with gifts and then took her out dancing!

Congratulations Sarah! You and Eric are such a fun-loving couple and you were totally made for each other :) Can't wait until the wedding celebration!!!