Wednesday, November 26, 2008

Ever have one of those days....

...where you wish you would have just stayed in bed...or at least an extra 5 minutes at Cheryl's having tea.

Today was one of those days for me!!

In my defense, the driver ahead of me had the all clear to merge. They accelerated to merge, I looked to make sure I was clear, I accelerated and at the same time the driver in front of me decided to stop! Suddenly!!!!

I am o.k., the other driver is o.k. - her big gas guzzling SUV is o.k. - my beautiful, sleek, fairly gas efficient, heated seats and sun roof, silver 2003 Volkswagen Golf is not :(

To top it all off - the police officer, nice as she was, gave me a $280.00 ticket for "Undo Care and Attention".....There was care....there was attention!

Oy, I shoulda stayed in bed.

Tuesday, November 25, 2008

Phenomenal Woman

One of my favourite poems of all time is a poem by Maya Angelou called "Phenomenal Woman".

I am sending this out to the all the PHENOMENAL women who are on this crazy roller coaster ride called adoption. Whether you are just starting, waiting for a referral, waiting for court or travel or are already home with your wee ones...

...without all of you, this would be a much harder journey. Thanks for all your love and support.

Pretty women wonder where my secret lies.
I'm not cute or built to suit a fashion model's size
But when I start to tell them,
They think I'm telling lies.
I say,
It's in the reach of my arms
The span of my hips,
The stride of my step,
The curl of my lips.
I'm a woman
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.

I walk into a room
Just as cool as you please,
And to a man,
The fellows stand or
Fall down on their knees.
Then they swarm around me,
A hive of honey bees.
I say,
It's the fire in my eyes,
And the flash of my teeth,
The swing in my waist,
And the joy in my feet.
I'm a woman
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.

Men themselves have wondered
What they see in me.
They try so much
But they can't touch
My inner mystery.
When I try to show them
They say they still can't see.
I say,
It's in the arch of my back,
The sun of my smile,
The ride of my breasts,
The grace of my style.
I'm a woman

Phenomenal woman,
That's me.

Now you understand
Just why my head's not bowed.
I don't shout or jump about
Or have to talk real loud.
When you see me passing
It ought to make you proud.
I say,
It's in the click of my heels,
The bend of my hair,
the palm of my hand,
The need of my care,
'Cause I'm a woman
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.

Maya Angelou

Saturday, November 22, 2008

Once in a Lifetime

On this day, the day of.....37.....I am reminded of my favourite song by Talking Heads

Once in a lifetime and I am thankful to have reached it!

Thursday, November 20, 2008

Need New Hobby to Pass the Time

So, I decided I need a new hobby to pass the time while we wait for our referral.

And.........I have decided to take up hula hooping!!!!!

Americus Wilson

What??!?! I could totally do that!

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

Do You Believe in Me?

I saw these two videos on Laura's blog the other day - these clips made me feel unbelievably sad!

Then I saw 13 year old Dalton Sherman speak on Oprah yesterday - It made feel incredibly hopeful!

This is video is of Dalton as the key note speaker at the Dallas Independent School District convention.

I believe! I believe in the future potential of our unknown child. I believe in the future potential of our youth! I believe we can make all children feel special regardless of ethnicity, skin color, gender, size, weight and so on. I believe we all must help the children of the world become what past generations could not - believers in themselves!

Monday, November 17, 2008

Froggy Went a Courting

Today I was over on Nicky's blog checking out the murals her sister is going to be doing for her beautiful twin girls' room. There were drawings of a frog and a mouse and it reminded me of an old folk song I used to listen to all the time as a kid called "Froggy Went a Courting".

I had forgotten about this song until I saw these drawings and a slew of childhood memories came rushing back.

It made me happy on this chilly Monday morning because one day I will get to share this with our kid(s)

Happy Monday!

Thursday, November 13, 2008

One Year

Today marks one year since our dossier flew off to Ethiopia via Fed Ex.

I thought I would be a big, sobby, mess today but I'm not. Hmmmmmm....this is good.

Our mini-break out to the west coast definitely helped. We both needed the time to relax and unwind from the daily stresses of life.

What really helped was this: I am part of a clothing club. 10 girls get together once a month and we throw $25 into a pot. We draw a name and that girl wins the pot of money for the month. She then gets to spend her $250 anyway she wants. Anyways, we met last month on a Monday. I had not been in a good frame of mind for a while. I was sad, angry, disillusioned, tired - you name it! I had the 10 and 11 month blues bad.

I wasn't going to go to this gathering. But I thought I to myself - "Self, you need to go out, you need to be around people, you need to stop moping around the house." So, I got myself ready, showered, did my hair, put my make-up on trying to cover the deep, dark circles that had taken up residence under my eyes. I stepped back from the mirror and I thought to myself - "Self, you look pretty good, as good as one can for someone who is feeling like she has been hit by a mack truck of emotions." "You will hold your head high, no one will know you are feeling so low, you will have fun."

I headed down to the restaurant we were meeting at and sat down at the table. This night only 4 of the 10 girls could make it. We ordered drinks, some ordered food and we all chatted for awhile.

All of a sudden one the girls (who I had met thru this club and only 2 or 3 times) looked right at me and said "ARE YOU ALRIGHT? YOU LOOK VERY STRESSED!!!" And she said it just like that - fairly loud and with great emphasis! Now, it could have been my sensitive self hearing it as though it had been been broadcast on a bullhorn to the whole restaurant. I am sure she said it in her indoor voice but that is not what I heard and the worst part was she had said what I was feeling. I was feeling stressed, tired, and like I had aged a hundred years in the last few months. Only I thought I was doing a good job of hiding it - obviously not!

I deflated faster than a balloon that has been poked by a pin. I wanted to cry, crawl under the table, or run out of the restaurant as fast I could. The other girls all turned and looked at me with the look, you know the look! The look that says "aaaaaw, are you o.k.?" followed by pity nods. I explained in a condensed version why I was feeling this way. It has to be condensed for those not on the adoption roller coaster because if you get too detailed their eyes start to glaze over. They all commiserated with me and then we moved onto the next topic.

I tried to be engaged, funny, witty, and to act like there was nothing I wanted more than to be right where I was. Truth be told - I wanted to go home and sit on our couch and cry. At that exact moment - when a veritable stranger can tell you are falling apart - well, at that exact moment you have lost the art of the "happy face" and it is time to make some changes!!!

I got lost in the fear - it consumed me. I let it affect every ounce of my being - I started to believe that I was victim. I got lost in the "What if?" worst case scenarios. I forgot about the "Law of Attraction" - where what you put out into the universe is what you attract back. I was putting out fear and I was getting it back ten fold. I believed that I could control every aspect of my life and what happened was the fear started to control me. I forgot to live in the present.

I have decided I don't want to feel like I have these past few months. I want to be happy and fun to be around again. I want to laugh and enjoy life . I don't want to get consumed with the "What if?" again. Will this be easy? HECK NO!!! Will I get caught up in my own self-pity again - probably! Will I let it get as far as it did before - no way! It is way harder being sad than it is being happy.

I don't want to look and feel like this anymore:

I'd rather look like this:

So, here is to being one year closer to our dream of a family!

And me being able to keep this calm and peaceful state of mind. Oh PLEASE let me keep this calm, peaceful state of mind!! I will be calm. I will be peaceful. I will be calm. I will be peaceful. My new mantra!

Friday, November 7, 2008

Where in the World is Africa?

In my heart...that's where!!!!!!

I blogged earlier about the shopping I had done post pity party. This is another one of the wonderful items I purchased but only received about a day before we went on holidays. I love it!!! I have worn it everyday since it arrived.

This beautiful piece of jewellery called "Africa in my Heart" is from Junk Posse on Etsy. My friends Cheryl and Rhonda both have pieces from her and they inspired me to get one too. (I made sure to get one that was different from theirs.)

Thanks Tracy at Junk Posse for my gorgeous necklace.

Secret Pal

I wanted to say thank you to my lovely Secret Pal who sent me the most beautiful bouqet of flowers. I can't wait to eat them!!!!! My pal also gave me a fantastic travel book on Ethiopia and some ginger tea from E! (hey that rhymes!).

Thanks Secret Pal!!!!!!

Thanks also to Sandi for signing me up!!! You are a fantastic friend!!!

Wednesday, November 5, 2008

Rest and Relaxation....

.....does a guy and gal some good!

We arrived home last night just in time to swoop into the house, turn on the t.v. and watch Barack Obama become the 44th President of the United States! Whoop!!!! Just had to celebrate that!

Right, so back to being rested and relaxed! We are well rested and very relaxed. It is always good to get away from the everyday but even better is coming home!!!

Vancouver and Madonna Concert

The very first thing I should note is that Vancouver is awash in the color purple. I mean, every thing and everyone was in or wearing purple. I love purple - I bought a purple dress to wear to the Madonna concert. I thought I would be so original!!

Ya right! Yvan and I laughed because purple was everywhere. Even Madonna played a purple guitar at the concert. For once in my life I was right on time with the trend!!! Ha ha ha ha!

60,000 people attended the concert at B.C. Place. I believe all 60, 0000 people arrived at exactly the same time as we did, tried to get in the same stadium door as us, bought Madonnna paraphernalia at once (we passed on this) and then all 60, 000 people took to their seats right when we decided to go to our seats. Yikes!!! I have never been to a concert this big - it was little overwhelming to say the least.

*Edit - I forgot to mention that about 30,000 of the 60,000 people there were dressed as Madonna from one stage or other of her career. It was hilarious - why, oh why, didn't I take photos of that!!!

My momma also came to the concert with us. We had floor seats and since my mom and I are not tall it was hard to see the stage sometimes. Especially with the large noggins' sitting all around us. Good thing for the large screens on each side of the stage and binoculars. What we needed was Shannon and Dan and their fabulous photo taking expertise there with us!

Madonna did not disappoint - she is one high energy lady! I must also tell you that she is F.I.T. Fit! At 50 she is smokin' hot and still got it! She played a lot of tunes off her new album like "4 minutes" and "Beat Goes On". She also played some oldies. My favourite was a rockin' version of "Borderline" and an excellent version of "La Isla Bonita" as well as "Music", "Like A Prayer". Oh my, there were so many great songs!!! We danced the whole time :)

Here's a little montage for ya

We also spent 3 nights up in rained the whole time we were there so we pretty much just slept and ate. Thus, no photos - ha ha ha! It was perfect!

Glad to be home!