Tomorrow

I keep thinking about tomorrow.

October 28, 2010.

16 months!

The number of months we have been waiting since we got our referral.

I haven't been counting the months at all...or I tried not to.

Tomorrow has been creeping into my head all week.

I am not sure why now but it could be anyone of the following reasons:

I am tired.

I am defeated.

I am deflated.

I am sad.

I am not sleeping.

I am angry.

I am frustrated.

I am worried.

I am hurting.

I feel like I'm living a nightmare which I can't seem to wake up from.

I feel like this will never end for us.

I just want it to be over and our son to be home with us.

Tomorrow is 16 months since we saw our wee son's face for the first time.

Since then he has grown into a handsome little toddler.

I just want our son to be home with us.

Rocky Horror GLEE Show!!!!

Is tonight!!!!

I love Glee!!

I love The Rocky Horror Picture Show!

But only when you dress up, go to theatre and yell at the screen and throw props!!!!

So fun!!!! I haven't done it since...well...since a long time ago!

Tonight, in honour of the show, I am making Meatloaf!

Get it! Meatloaf!!!

(Meatloaf plays Eddie in the movie and Frank-N-Furter kills him and serves him to the guests - Oh, it's just a movie people!)

I think I'll make Yvan get up and do the Time Warp with me too!!!



If you watch carefully you will see a very young Susan Sarandon who plays Janet, one of the main characters, and also a very prominent drama Prof from our University, Henry Woolf, was one of Frank-N-Furter's party guests...and Tim Curry! Oh my Tim Curry! I love him in this role!

“So come up to the lab
And see what’s on the slab
I see you shiver with antici…pation
But maybe the rain
Isn’t really to blame
So I’ll remove the cause
But not the symptom”

I know, I know!

I'm a geek!

Or should I say....

GLEEK!

Working From Home

I started working from home in July.

I really liked it at first but I think it might have had to do with it being summer.

Don't get me wrong, I still enjoy not having to get up and get myself to an office at a specific time.

Now I can roll out of bed at 8:15 in the a.m. go downstairs, make a tea, grab a bite to eat and head down to my office in the basement by 8:25.

I like that a lot!

Many times I'm still in my pajamas - hee!

Fall has set in and it is darker in the morning and gloomier in the day what with clouds rolling in leaking precipitation which will eventually lead to snow and I find myself feeling lonely.

I'm a social person...I like to have people to talk to and now I find I talk to myself a lot, and the cats and dogs too.

We set up a really nice office for me in the basement. It is cheery and bright and I have surrounded myself with my books (which I love) but there are times I just like to be upstairs where I can peer out the window of our dining room and see the world going by.

For instance, I just saw our retired neighbours come home from the grocery store!

So, today, it is particularly gloomy out as it can be the last week of October with Halloween looming and so I sit at the kitchen table gazing out the window trying to focus on work.

Confession Friday

Following in the footsteps of Tova, Cinnamon and Keltie, I have decided to join in on "Confession Fridays" because I like it!

1. I confess I have been lacking motivation to blog lately mainly because it would be a lot of me boo hooing about how I am feeling and really who needs that?

2. I confess I made a batch of whole wheat chocolate chip cookies this morning for my homemade pizza date night tonight with Yvan and I have already eaten 3 cookies.

3. I confess I am writing this post while propped up in bed with my dogs and cats cuddled up to me and watching another episode of House Hunters and it is 11:38 a.m.

4. I confess this week has been a long, hard, boring week.

5. I confess I have been wearing one particular pair of super, duper, comfy sweat pants I recently bought a lot! I mean a lot...like almost every day...no, o.k. every day...and I might have even worn them to the grocery store (I do not wear sweat pants out in to the world) once or twice.

6. I confess to eating McDonald's this week and enjoying it while eating it only to get intense gut rot immediately after taking my last bite and wishing I hadn't crumbled to the call of the Golden Arches and how my body tried its best to get the aforementioned food out and Yvan was the one who was punished by the warfare ensued by my intestinal tract...hee hee! Sorry honey!

7. I confess to overindulging on Amazon this week on some books solely for my personal reading pleasure...I can't wait to read "My Booky Wook" by Russell Brand.

8. I confess I am super excited for this Tuesday because it is Glee Tuesday and this coming week they are doing "The Rocky Horror Glee Show" and I am all about Rocky Horror!!!!

9. I confess to not being good at phone calls anymore. I used to be a good friend who called people every week...hmmmmmm...not so much anymore. Sorry to all my friends!

10. I confess to not being the best wife this week to my husband and appreciate more than he knows the fact he deals with my "exorcist-like" behaviour very well :)

If I Were Being Honest.....

I would have to tell you this:

I AM GOING CRAZY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

BONKERS!!!!!

CERTIFIABLY INSANE!!!!

I feel like Steve Martin in "The Jerk"...you know the scene where his wife leaves him and he says:

"I don't need you, all I need is this lamp! This lamp and this chair..." and goes on and on and is eventually wandering down the street with all the things he doesn't need except for...

It is taking all my will power not to run up and down the street yelling "WHEN WILL OUR VISA COME?!" with random articles of furniture from our house as being all I need...but really all I need is OUR SON HOME!!!!

I have been trying to play it cool....trying to be the brave gal who can face anything and take anything...but I feel the facade crumbling....I don't feel cool at all...I feel like a

NUTTY NUTTERTON!!!

I have been searching the Internets again for answers....just like when we were waiting for our referral...which by the way was almost 15 months ago...I try not to linger on that most days because it would drive me to drink if I did but sometimes it pops into my head especially around the holidays (Happy Thanksgiving all!).

But alas, the answers aren't there...they are far away in Nairobi...sitting on a desk of some stranger who has the power in their hands to determine "yes, you will be a family" (I won't think about any other options) and waiting for said stranger to stamp our son's passport with the little, tiny stamp we need to bring him home is making me

LOOPY!!!!!!

Please let the visa come soon....please!

October is Breast Cancer Awareness Month