Saturday, November 28, 2009

Pizza and Friends

So, we aren't all doom and gloom...we do like to have fun!!!

And fun we had with our good friends Mary and Brendan and Jess and Darrell.

as they attended Ranavan's Infamous Pizza Night!!!!

We had a few cocktails...

Made some pizzas

(you can tell alot about people by how they make their pizza...)

It was a lovely evening with a great group of people who make us laugh which is just what we needed :)

Friday, November 27, 2009

It's About a Wee Baby Boy

I have sat down at the computer to write a post a few times but my fingers just wouldn't type. It is probably because they refuse to spew out the melancholy drivel that is running thru my brain lately.

I have always tried to keep my blog a positive one - a diary of sorts of our journey to become a family. Lately, my positivity is waning...we are still waiting for a document to be finalized. We are told it is being translated.

We had initially been told court application had been made and with that we had an expectation in our mind a date would follow soon after. We have now been told they were incorrect and court application won't be made until the document is finalized. They have no idea how long this will take or when they will be able to apply for court. So, we have had to spend the last week wrapping our heads around that.

It has been difficult to say the least.

However, I want to make it very clear we completely understand this isn't really about us.

It's about a wee baby boy!

Our baby boy!

He doesn't know we are coming. He has no clue how our love is growing more and more each day for him. He doesn't understand how we miss him and long to hold him. He has no comprehension that we wake up every day hoping he is doing well, being cuddled and loved.

We understand the sadness and pain we are feeling is nothing compared to what our little man has, is, and will experience in his young life.

He is trying to figure out what happened in his world that took away a mother he knew and loved and brought stranger after stranger into his life in the form of police officers, orphanage workers, and foster home caregivers.

He will have had 3 different sets of caregivers since leaving the safety and comfort of his mother's arms. We will be the 5th people to care for him...that is a lot of people and he is not going to be a happy little dude. I can't imagine having gone thru 5 different sets of people I thought were going to be the ones to love me forever...can you? All in the first year or so of life...

He will have grief - incomprehensible grief.

We will need to be strong for him. He will need us to let him grieve for all he has lost and we will need to let him know it is o.k. to be sad. Trust will need to be built and it won't be easy. He will be uncertain and extremely scared. It will take a long time but we are in it for the long haul...however long he needs.

This is about him.

As much as I lament about how sad we hard this is for us...we know we have it easy. We have each other...we have our family and friends who we have known for years and years.

Our son hasn't had this stability or support system.

This is about him, his needs and what we can do to start the healing process for him.

So, when I write about how we are feeling ( and I will continue to do so) let it be understood it is because we want our son...our be in the last and final set of arms to be taking care of him forever.

Friday, November 20, 2009

No Court Date

is the word we got today...waiting on some paper the insanely hard and emotional wait continues...if someone has any extra strength could you send it my way as mine seems to have left the building...

Good news is Ade is healthy again and doing better!!! This has us feeling relieved. We are happy beyond happy that he is fighting to stay healthy but what we really want is for him to be here with us where we can watch over him and care for him and be the ones to comfort him.

Sunday, November 15, 2009

Definition of Torture

Merriam Webster says the definition of torture is:

Main Entry: 1tor·ture
Pronunciation: \ˈtȯr-chər\
Function: noun
Etymology: Middle French, from Old French, from Late Latin tortura, from Latin tortus, past participle of torquēre to twist; probably akin to Old High German drāhsil turner, Greek atraktos spindle
Date: 1540
1 a : anguish of body or mind : agony b : something that causes agony or pain
2 : the infliction of intense pain (as from burning, crushing, or wounding) to punish, coerce, or afford sadistic pleasure

Uh, ya - No. 1 is what happens when you are STILL waiting to hear if you have a court date!

Monday, November 9, 2009

Our Boy is a Fighter

We found out this afternoon that our wee boy was in the hospital again over the weekend.

Fighting pneumonia again.

He is a fighter! Our boy is a fighter.

We are told he is doing well since he got his meds and is now back in the foster home.

But we are worried and scared.

This is why I have been such a basket case lately (if you hadn't noticed)!

Since the first time we found out he was in the hospital back in August...his getting sick again has been a constant worry.

Our wee man is tiny! He is 10 months old and weighs around 15lbs...tiny!

But he is a fighter!!!

My anxiety level is now absolutely operating at LEVEL 5! That is high! Right Sandi and Cheryl!

We have been told court application has been made! This is good!

What would be even better is an actual date. We may have that too....but they aren't 100% on that so won't commit...



Our son, our little fighter...he needs to be home with us.

Sunday, November 8, 2009

Can Someone Tell Me Why...

...when you do your best to park in a grocery store lot (insert any parking lot you want here) in a stall as straight as possible..some turkey has to wing in beside you (while you are in the store) and park willy nilly on a crazy angle. In doing so, they park so close to your driver side door making it impossible to open...let alone get into your car!!

Why. Would. You. Do. This.

Seriously..I am in a mood people. Don't you know that! A MOOD!

It is a good thing I wasn't there when they parked or I would have given them the know...


It's true - I would have!

And then I would've walked right over to the passenger door and crawled across the seats to prove my point to you!


Saturday, November 7, 2009

Wednesday, November 4, 2009

I found the cure to what ails me...

...and it's called the XYLOPHONE!!

Seriously, I didn't know what sweet, sweet notes could ooze forth from this musical invention.

Until tonight when we went to see the Afro Cuban All Stars!

All that lovely, latin jazz had us groovin' and shaking our money makers to the beat of the drums.

But it was the Xylophone that got me from the moment it said "hello"!

Since there aren't many folks who play the xylophone I figure I could be the next big sensation!!!!

I think people around the world will pay money to see me plonking away.

What? It could totally are laughing now but you won't be when you see my smiling face on the T.V. as I give Gloria Estafan a run for her money!

Humour me people - I need to have a little something to take the edge off!

*Edit - I didn't really buy a xylophone and am not likely too..I'll stick to my day is in everyone's best interest :) but I tell ya, I just didn't know the xyhophone could sound so good mixed with the Cuban beats. It really was cool.

O.k. wait - I actually might buy one Xylophone! This one for Ade:

How cute is that!!! Thanks June for the link.

Monday, November 2, 2009


...I just don't have anything to say! Believe me it doesn't happen often - I am a talker but right now...I got nothing.

I could continue to be the broken record I have been lately

and whine and complain about how we still don't have a court date. I know, it has only been 3 months since we got our referral (yes, 3 months) but we have not heard one word.

But I know you don't want to hear is getting old and boring...I even bore myself with it.

I could tell you about how my heart is breaking into little pieces more everyday as we wait longer and longer to find out if our son will officially be our son.

but you have also heard that!

So, I haven't had much to say lately.

I am hoping that will change one day soon.