When I was in my 20's I used to suffer from insomnia...many, many nights of going to bed trying to get a good night's sleep to no avail. Occasionally, I still have the odd night where I can't sleep but I haven't had on in quite a while.
Last night we went to bed pretty early - around 11 p.m. We chatted for awhile and talked about the days events. Yvan promptly fell asleep as he so often does. Ummm....why can guys fall asleep so easily...and usually sitting up, holding a beverage, the remote and all while petting the cat too? I don't get it...
Anyways, I tossed and turned, and turned and tossed. So, I decided to get up. As I usually do, I went downstairs to watch T.V. I turn on the tube and what do I see...Sleepless In Seattle.....aaaaah there is nothing like a Meg Ryan movie to make a girl feel good. Sleepless in Seattle, When Harry Met Sally, You Got Mail...all make me happy! As does a good Jane Austen movie...oh Sense and Sensibility, Pride and Prejudice....sweet calmness overcomes me.
I think the reason I was unable to sleep was because I processed a lot of information yesterday. I have been feeling antsy. I have restless mind syndrome. I have been turning over and over in mind about how we can give back...how we can make a difference. I had been giving serious consideration to doing a humanitarian expedition with Canadian Humanitarian Organization for International Relief (CHOIR). I have been talking to Yvan and to Sandra from CHOIR over the past couple of weeks. Yvan was 100% behind me to go...however...something didn't feel right about it.
First, the only expedition I would be able to go on was in October. Leaving almost 11 months after our dossier landed in Ethiopia. I felt that this might not be the best time to go as we might be very close to getting a referral (fingers crossed). I also didn't want to go to Ethiopia without Yvan...this is something we have both really been looking forward to and I wanted to share the first step on our child's home soil with him. So, I called and talked to our agency...after a lengthy conversation and much needed information my decision was almost final. I just needed to talk to CHOIR. I wanted to know if they would allow us to do some work for them if we went to Ethiopia a week early when it was time to go get our child. The answer was yes! They do that stuff all the time for couples and families. It was just what I needed to make my decision. Yvan and I will go together and spend some time visiting orphanages, teaching English...whatever they will have us do.
I think the other reason I was buzzing was because I spent 3 hours talking adoption with Natasha last night...it was good to really sit and talk and talk and talk some more! I need this alot...it is good to get all the stuff out of my mind and to have someone tell me they understand or have been thru that or are going thru it too. I have met a wonderful group of women and their spouses and families during this process and I am ever thankful for each and every one of them. You all know who you are ;)
So, with all the activity of the day...I just couldn't get my brain to shut off come bed time. Thanks to Meg Ryan and Tom Hanks...I was able to escape to a sweet fantasy land and managed to get tired enough to go to bed and have a good night's sleep.