So, o.k. I've been tagged by Dianne, who is a "mom in waiting" like me. I think we are even very close in our wait times - partners in "waiting"! The tagging is actually good because I wanted to post something but didn't know what to say!
Oh, and feel free to judge me as I totally did this at work much to my husband's chagrin! I can't help it...sometimes I just don't feel like working - especially when the sun is shining outside.
I am: tired beyond belief this week...getting out of bed the last two mornings has been so hard. Yvan has been getting up before me...that is definitely weird!
I think: there is still so much for me to learn in life and I am excited for all the new things to come
I know: that I am loved but I sometimes doubt it.
I want: to go to Ethiopia and bring home our baby so we can start the rest of our lives together
I have: the best family and friends on the planet..seriously I do! They Rock!!!
I wish: that I was going to the Duran Duran concert with my friend Rachel in Vancouver tonight and then heading back stage with her to meet the band - ya - she's got back stage passes...sigh...send my love to Simon!!!! and Nick!!! and John!!! and Roger!!!! Oh how I do miss my youth from the '80's.
I hate: hypocrites - don't say one thing and then do another - mean what you say
I miss: My mom, Angela, Andrew, Lisa G., Jimmy G., Kathleen, Daegen, , Rachel, Julie and all the people who I no longer get to see because of geographic reasons who have helped me become the person I am today
I fear: growing old and not having a family to share it with
I feel: pretty good today - the sun is out and I have a clear mind - I think I am on the upper part of the roller coaster right now.
I hear: my husband talking from his office, a motorcycle outside, my phone ringing - darn it! Back to work I guess...
I smell: my stinky feet -first day no socks because it is warm out and I forgot that these little summer shoes aren't leather and give off an odour - eeeeewwww!
I crave: Thai food and Ethiopian food all the time...seriously I do!
I search: for peace in my heart and mind.
I wonder: if i will be able to run 10K in 4 weeks or if I am out of my mind????
I regret: not going to Europe or Australia or moving to Banff after high school to work or ski
I love: life, my family, my friends, my animals, laughing, crying, watching a good movie, reading a good book, spending time by myself
I ache: for the touch of our child, to see their face smiling up at us...to be a family of 3.
I care: what the people I love think of me
I always: eat a bran muffin and drink a glass of milk before I go to bed - ha ha ha! and tell my husband I love him before he goes anywhere!
I am not: too old to fulfill my dreams
I believe: if you live life to the fullest, love with your whole heart and laugh lots - you can't go wrong :)
I dance: in my living room, in my car, with my friends, in the kitchen, in the morning with Yvan when we are listening to the radio and getting ready for work
I sing: all the time - pretty much the same as when I dance - but I can't sing - I so can't sing but I do it anyways!
I cry: hmmmmm...a lot lately! I cry when I come home from visiting my mom, when I see a sad or a happy movie, when I think of going to Ethiopia, when I think of getting our referral, when I see a teeny, tiny newborn baby, when I hear someone is pregnant, when someone dies, when I read a good book...sometimes I cry because it just feels good!
I don't always: brush my teeth before I go to bed at night...sometimes I am just way to tired
I fight: for my loved ones - I am loyal and you better not attack (physically, verbally or emotionally) those I love!
I write: because I have to get all these things in my brain out...out I say! OUT! Aaaaah! That feels better!
I win: when I don't take myself too seriously
I lose: my mind when people leave cupboard doors open in the kitchen.
I never: say never - because eventually I might :)
I confuse: my husband because I am a woman and it is my right to change my mind
I listen: to jazz, rock, r & b, pop, dance, classical, alt. rock, punk rock, techno, blues but I draw the line at country music unless it is old school like Patsy, Johnny or Kenny!
I can usually be found: reading blogs, on the message boards, snuggled up on the couch with Leroy Brown or hangin' with Yvan
I am scared of: helicopters - even though I was a flight attendant for 4 years - I am very scared of helicopters - they are not right- not right I tell you- the whirring blades - the straight up and and down for landing - the weird having to duck to get on board!
I need: to know people are happy and not mad at me
I am happy about: the phone call I just got from Sandi -she invited me to go to Phantom with her tomorrow night....YEOW - I am so excited!!!!!
WITH THE AUTHORITY VESTED IN ME, I HEREBY TAG:
Shannon W - because I think we have a lot in common and if she lived closer we would be great friends and because i don't know her very well and I would like to know her better.
Tanya - because she is a single mom and I was raised by a single mom and they rock!!
Shannon L because I really like her a lot!
Tuesday, April 29, 2008
Friday, April 25, 2008
TGIF
TGIF!!! This week has been a crazy busy week! Work seems to be going very well...knock on wood...and I managed to get a lot of loose ends tied up. I finally feel as though I have caught up from being away after Christmas (that is right only finally catching up now) and have everything under control. Now I can focus on the massive onslaught of houses my husband has ready for me.
I am ready for the weekend! This weekend is going to be busy but fun! Tonight I think we will go see a movie - maybe Fat Boy Run - mindless humour is always good for the soul :) But first we both need to go for our run - Yvan thought he had hurt is knee and kind of eased off of training and I have just been slacking as of late - turns out Yvan's knee is fine - he just needs to stretch more (told ya so hee hee) and I am back on track with my training schedule this week. We only have 4 weeks left until the Big Run Day!! EEEEEK!
I am going to get a much needed hair cut and color tomorrow - I know it is bad when Yvan says "wow, you have a lot of grey"...it's true I do!
Sunday we are running 5km (me) and 10km (Yvan) in the Spring Fun Run and then we are going to an 8oth Birthday celebration for Yvan's Grandma!
Today has already been a great so far...when I got to work I found this (see photo below) on my
chair.
My friend (and co-worker) Kristie (and Joel too) left this special gift for Yvan and me. Along with it was the most beautiful letter...I cried of course...and when I showed it to Yvan he got teary too! We will definitely be putting the letter into our life book for our new little one...he/she will know that they were loved and thought of even before they came to live with us.
Thanks Kristie and Joel -we can't wait to snuggle up in a chair and read this little gem of a book to our new baby!!
I am ready for the weekend! This weekend is going to be busy but fun! Tonight I think we will go see a movie - maybe Fat Boy Run - mindless humour is always good for the soul :) But first we both need to go for our run - Yvan thought he had hurt is knee and kind of eased off of training and I have just been slacking as of late - turns out Yvan's knee is fine - he just needs to stretch more (told ya so hee hee) and I am back on track with my training schedule this week. We only have 4 weeks left until the Big Run Day!! EEEEEK!
I am going to get a much needed hair cut and color tomorrow - I know it is bad when Yvan says "wow, you have a lot of grey"...it's true I do!
Sunday we are running 5km (me) and 10km (Yvan) in the Spring Fun Run and then we are going to an 8oth Birthday celebration for Yvan's Grandma!
Today has already been a great so far...when I got to work I found this (see photo below) on my
chair.
My friend (and co-worker) Kristie (and Joel too) left this special gift for Yvan and me. Along with it was the most beautiful letter...I cried of course...and when I showed it to Yvan he got teary too! We will definitely be putting the letter into our life book for our new little one...he/she will know that they were loved and thought of even before they came to live with us.
Thanks Kristie and Joel -we can't wait to snuggle up in a chair and read this little gem of a book to our new baby!!
Wednesday, April 23, 2008
Sleepless in Saskatchewan
When I was in my 20's I used to suffer from insomnia...many, many nights of going to bed trying to get a good night's sleep to no avail. Occasionally, I still have the odd night where I can't sleep but I haven't had on in quite a while.
Last night we went to bed pretty early - around 11 p.m. We chatted for awhile and talked about the days events. Yvan promptly fell asleep as he so often does. Ummm....why can guys fall asleep so easily...and usually sitting up, holding a beverage, the remote and all while petting the cat too? I don't get it...
Anyways, I tossed and turned, and turned and tossed. So, I decided to get up. As I usually do, I went downstairs to watch T.V. I turn on the tube and what do I see...Sleepless In Seattle.....aaaaah there is nothing like a Meg Ryan movie to make a girl feel good. Sleepless in Seattle, When Harry Met Sally, You Got Mail...all make me happy! As does a good Jane Austen movie...oh Sense and Sensibility, Pride and Prejudice....sweet calmness overcomes me.
I think the reason I was unable to sleep was because I processed a lot of information yesterday. I have been feeling antsy. I have restless mind syndrome. I have been turning over and over in mind about how we can give back...how we can make a difference. I had been giving serious consideration to doing a humanitarian expedition with Canadian Humanitarian Organization for International Relief (CHOIR). I have been talking to Yvan and to Sandra from CHOIR over the past couple of weeks. Yvan was 100% behind me to go...however...something didn't feel right about it.
First, the only expedition I would be able to go on was in October. Leaving almost 11 months after our dossier landed in Ethiopia. I felt that this might not be the best time to go as we might be very close to getting a referral (fingers crossed). I also didn't want to go to Ethiopia without Yvan...this is something we have both really been looking forward to and I wanted to share the first step on our child's home soil with him. So, I called and talked to our agency...after a lengthy conversation and much needed information my decision was almost final. I just needed to talk to CHOIR. I wanted to know if they would allow us to do some work for them if we went to Ethiopia a week early when it was time to go get our child. The answer was yes! They do that stuff all the time for couples and families. It was just what I needed to make my decision. Yvan and I will go together and spend some time visiting orphanages, teaching English...whatever they will have us do.
I think the other reason I was buzzing was because I spent 3 hours talking adoption with Natasha last night...it was good to really sit and talk and talk and talk some more! I need this alot...it is good to get all the stuff out of my mind and to have someone tell me they understand or have been thru that or are going thru it too. I have met a wonderful group of women and their spouses and families during this process and I am ever thankful for each and every one of them. You all know who you are ;)
So, with all the activity of the day...I just couldn't get my brain to shut off come bed time. Thanks to Meg Ryan and Tom Hanks...I was able to escape to a sweet fantasy land and managed to get tired enough to go to bed and have a good night's sleep.
Last night we went to bed pretty early - around 11 p.m. We chatted for awhile and talked about the days events. Yvan promptly fell asleep as he so often does. Ummm....why can guys fall asleep so easily...and usually sitting up, holding a beverage, the remote and all while petting the cat too? I don't get it...
Anyways, I tossed and turned, and turned and tossed. So, I decided to get up. As I usually do, I went downstairs to watch T.V. I turn on the tube and what do I see...Sleepless In Seattle.....aaaaah there is nothing like a Meg Ryan movie to make a girl feel good. Sleepless in Seattle, When Harry Met Sally, You Got Mail...all make me happy! As does a good Jane Austen movie...oh Sense and Sensibility, Pride and Prejudice....sweet calmness overcomes me.
I think the reason I was unable to sleep was because I processed a lot of information yesterday. I have been feeling antsy. I have restless mind syndrome. I have been turning over and over in mind about how we can give back...how we can make a difference. I had been giving serious consideration to doing a humanitarian expedition with Canadian Humanitarian Organization for International Relief (CHOIR). I have been talking to Yvan and to Sandra from CHOIR over the past couple of weeks. Yvan was 100% behind me to go...however...something didn't feel right about it.
First, the only expedition I would be able to go on was in October. Leaving almost 11 months after our dossier landed in Ethiopia. I felt that this might not be the best time to go as we might be very close to getting a referral (fingers crossed). I also didn't want to go to Ethiopia without Yvan...this is something we have both really been looking forward to and I wanted to share the first step on our child's home soil with him. So, I called and talked to our agency...after a lengthy conversation and much needed information my decision was almost final. I just needed to talk to CHOIR. I wanted to know if they would allow us to do some work for them if we went to Ethiopia a week early when it was time to go get our child. The answer was yes! They do that stuff all the time for couples and families. It was just what I needed to make my decision. Yvan and I will go together and spend some time visiting orphanages, teaching English...whatever they will have us do.
I think the other reason I was buzzing was because I spent 3 hours talking adoption with Natasha last night...it was good to really sit and talk and talk and talk some more! I need this alot...it is good to get all the stuff out of my mind and to have someone tell me they understand or have been thru that or are going thru it too. I have met a wonderful group of women and their spouses and families during this process and I am ever thankful for each and every one of them. You all know who you are ;)
So, with all the activity of the day...I just couldn't get my brain to shut off come bed time. Thanks to Meg Ryan and Tom Hanks...I was able to escape to a sweet fantasy land and managed to get tired enough to go to bed and have a good night's sleep.
Tuesday, April 22, 2008
April 22nd is Earth Day
Today is Earth Day! Take care of it like it's your home...because you know what...it is!!!
Monday, April 21, 2008
Nice Try But It Won't Work
Alright, this is in no way adoption related...as some posts likely will be in this fabulous stage of waiting for a referral!
But, I was bored at work today and was looking at cute overload.com and found this nifty-but-not-so realistic invention.
Now the idea behind it is fabulous...however...Miss Sammi would never, ever sit in this thing. As soon as you are on the computer, or reading a paper or a book...she wants to be sitting right on the thing you are trying to type on or read. This is not for lack of a better place to sit...it is simply because she wants to have your attention...and as long as your are typing, or reading...she doesn't have it.
I know this is not unique to our cat - as I am pretty sure all cats suffer from the "I will perch atop all stuff not involving me" syndrome.
Nice try people.....but back to the drawing boards!
P.S. You really should check out cute overload - it is waaaaaaayyyyyy tooooooo cuuuuuute!
Sunday, April 20, 2008
Lazy Sunday!
Today has been a very lazy Sunday...this doesn't happen very often in our household.. but the weather being what it is we decided to take advantage. This morning we watched "Surf's Up!" What a cute cartoon...I am not one for cartoons because they usually make me cry (they always kill off a parent - why do they do that?) I like the Pixar cartoons because they are always funny and uplifting. Surf's Up was so cute and so funny! Yvan and I laughed out loud a lot! So, far the rest of the afternoon has been about napping and listening to music...quite enjoyable.
Well, I said if it happened I would post it! So here are a few photos of the street in front of our house.
Friday night it snowed and snowed,
Well, I said if it happened I would post it! So here are a few photos of the street in front of our house.
Friday night it snowed and snowed,
and snowed,
and snowed,
and snowed,
and snowed some more!!!
Today it is raining..rain is much better than snow!!! Especially in April!!
Also, A big congratulations to my mom who walked 10km in the Vancouver Sun Fun Walk/Run today....she did it in under 2 hours!!!!! YAAAAAAY MOM!!! Yvan and I love you and are so proud of you :)
Momma is also off on a 19 day Hawaiian cruise - Bon Voyage and Aloha!!
Happy Sunday everyone!!
Friday, April 18, 2008
My Ideal Weather
I truly believe I was born in the wrong country....I should have been born somewhere tropical...or my parents should have had the good sense to know that I should have been born somewhere hot and moved there. I should question my mother on this...but she will probably only give me the stink eye.
I love hot weather...I like to wear tank tops and shorts, and sundresses...I live for the days of flip flop weather. I love travelling to hot, foreign climates and it is always quite painful to come home because I know ultimately winter will or already has descended.
I dream of one day retiring to a beautiful beach with lots of palm trees, bountiful sand and all day happy hour specials on mai tai's or chi chi's...whatev...I'm not picky. The photo below represents my fantasy, my ideal...my future!
I love hot weather...I like to wear tank tops and shorts, and sundresses...I live for the days of flip flop weather. I love travelling to hot, foreign climates and it is always quite painful to come home because I know ultimately winter will or already has descended.
I dream of one day retiring to a beautiful beach with lots of palm trees, bountiful sand and all day happy hour specials on mai tai's or chi chi's...whatev...I'm not picky. The photo below represents my fantasy, my ideal...my future!
However, my reality (for this weekend at least )is something more like the photo below as THE WEATHER MAN has predicted a blizzard for the area with something like 50 cm of snow....50cm!!! WTF!!! It is April - there is no snow in April...none....nada....zilch...zip...there should only be birds chirping, leaves turning green and sunshine with high's of plus 25 and lows of plus 25...oh o.k....plus 10 and me wearing the above mentioned summer items...
Thursday, April 17, 2008
Two Addictions and a Bad Habit
Alright, this adoption process has made me realize that I may have an addictive personality after all. I never thought I did - I never drank too much, smoked, shopped too much (quit laughing) or played video games (eewwww)etc.
But I have come to realize that I may have a few little issues- and well the first step is admitting you have a problem!!
Two Addictions
1a.) Message board/Blogs - I count these as one addiction (it makes me feel better about myself). I am part of a wonderful on-line adoption community. This community is a great place for support, advice, general info and friendship - when I first joined the group I checked the message board once or twice a week - hmmmmm....ya now I check it once or twice an hour - I can't stop myself before I know it I have signed in and am perusing the different areas...usually not much has changed - but the glee when I see a new post is probably not healthy. It is my link to sanity sometimes. There is also the anticipation that someone will have posted about their recent referral - this is always gratifying and I love seeing dreams of family come true - but truth be told I am just as happy because it means that we are one step closer as well! The line in front of us has gotten just a wee bit shorter.
1b.) Now, after I check the message boards I have to check some of the wonderful blogs I follow of fellow adoptive moms! I love to read about the events in their lives and see how they are handling/coping with the wait. Some of these people I have never met, yet I feel a deep kinship to them - like we are soul sisters! I check these blogs for sure once a day. Sometimes I comment sometimes I don't, but I always feel like I am not alone in this process. Thanks ladies!
2. Mah Jong - That is right Mah Jong - not any Mah Jong - online Mah Jong! I can't get enough of it...when I need a break from work (the stacks are piling on my desk oy-vey) and really feel like I shouldn't check the message boards (again!) I play Mah Jong - I just like saying it MAH JONG! There is one game in particular that I am obsessed with - Cat and Mouse - and the reason for this is because it is one of the few games I can't finish - it beats me every time - aaaarrrrgggh! If you want to see what I am talking about click on - Mah Jong - I always use the Explorer symbol for my tiles - don't even try Bridging or the Castle no one has a chance.
Note - Mah Jong is not the same as a video game - it is much more sophisticated and involves great attention to detail and an eagle eye to match the tiles.!!
A Bad Habit
When I was young - much younger than now - I used to chew my nails. My momma tried everything to get me to stop. And I do mean everything!!! I mean I even chewed thru the really bad tasting nail polish that they use to make....I chewed my nails until they bled. Then one day in my early 20's I decided to stop. Really it is a very horrible habit...it looks awful...it isn't sanitary... and your hands look frightful!!
I have started again - since our dossier went to Ethiopia - I have started AGAIN!!! Being much older and wiser now - I don't chew them right to the bottom - but I am still chewing them! I hate it but I don't know how to stop - I think the only thing that might make me quit is a referral and a child home - in our house! However, I am open to any and all suggestions so feel free to pass them along!
So, there you have it - Two Addictions and a Bad Habit!
But I have come to realize that I may have a few little issues- and well the first step is admitting you have a problem!!
Two Addictions
1a.) Message board/Blogs - I count these as one addiction (it makes me feel better about myself). I am part of a wonderful on-line adoption community. This community is a great place for support, advice, general info and friendship - when I first joined the group I checked the message board once or twice a week - hmmmmm....ya now I check it once or twice an hour - I can't stop myself before I know it I have signed in and am perusing the different areas...usually not much has changed - but the glee when I see a new post is probably not healthy. It is my link to sanity sometimes. There is also the anticipation that someone will have posted about their recent referral - this is always gratifying and I love seeing dreams of family come true - but truth be told I am just as happy because it means that we are one step closer as well! The line in front of us has gotten just a wee bit shorter.
1b.) Now, after I check the message boards I have to check some of the wonderful blogs I follow of fellow adoptive moms! I love to read about the events in their lives and see how they are handling/coping with the wait. Some of these people I have never met, yet I feel a deep kinship to them - like we are soul sisters! I check these blogs for sure once a day. Sometimes I comment sometimes I don't, but I always feel like I am not alone in this process. Thanks ladies!
2. Mah Jong - That is right Mah Jong - not any Mah Jong - online Mah Jong! I can't get enough of it...when I need a break from work (the stacks are piling on my desk oy-vey) and really feel like I shouldn't check the message boards (again!) I play Mah Jong - I just like saying it MAH JONG! There is one game in particular that I am obsessed with - Cat and Mouse - and the reason for this is because it is one of the few games I can't finish - it beats me every time - aaaarrrrgggh! If you want to see what I am talking about click on - Mah Jong - I always use the Explorer symbol for my tiles - don't even try Bridging or the Castle no one has a chance.
Note - Mah Jong is not the same as a video game - it is much more sophisticated and involves great attention to detail and an eagle eye to match the tiles.!!
A Bad Habit
When I was young - much younger than now - I used to chew my nails. My momma tried everything to get me to stop. And I do mean everything!!! I mean I even chewed thru the really bad tasting nail polish that they use to make....I chewed my nails until they bled. Then one day in my early 20's I decided to stop. Really it is a very horrible habit...it looks awful...it isn't sanitary... and your hands look frightful!!
I have started again - since our dossier went to Ethiopia - I have started AGAIN!!! Being much older and wiser now - I don't chew them right to the bottom - but I am still chewing them! I hate it but I don't know how to stop - I think the only thing that might make me quit is a referral and a child home - in our house! However, I am open to any and all suggestions so feel free to pass them along!
So, there you have it - Two Addictions and a Bad Habit!
Wednesday, April 16, 2008
Inspirational Story
According to our local radio station, today is "International Gripe Day" but instead of griping ( I did that yesterday all day) I am going to share an inspirational story that was published in our local paper The Star Phoenix. Thanks to Peter for sending me the link!
The story is about a local family who adopted two kids from Ethiopia - to read click here
It is good for us to read these types of stories and even more so when it is about a family from where we live. It means this adoption really will happen...in time!
Have a good one!
The story is about a local family who adopted two kids from Ethiopia - to read click here
It is good for us to read these types of stories and even more so when it is about a family from where we live. It means this adoption really will happen...in time!
Have a good one!
Tuesday, April 15, 2008
I Feel Blue
This past week has been really hard. I have been feeling very blue lately. I think spring fever has hit and instead of making me happy it has been making me very sad.
Yvan and I love to walk around our neighbourhood with our dog and just take in the beauty of the area we call home. It is a lovely, older area in the city and there are lots of cute little character homes. The neighbours are friendly and there is always lots of activity going on outside of our window.
We have been trying to start a family for close to 3 years now ( a drop in the bucket compared to some) but to us it feels like an eternity. In the past when we went for our nightly walk, we would look fondly at the other families also out for their walks. We dreamed of the day that we would be walking the dog and pushing a stroller like others. We have been able to watch as other couples in our vicinity have started and grown their families. Many of our neighbours were like us - just a couple. Over the last couple of years we have seen many of these couples have their first child. We watched as they walked by our house in the various stages of pregnancy, and then celebrated for them when we saw them the first time out with the wee on in the stroller. Some of our neighbours have or are having their second or third child...and yet we are still without the dream we once thought was so easy to attain.
This past weekend we went for our first big walk about with the dog as the weather was so phenomenal. It was quite apparent to us that everyone in the entire city had the same idea as we did and literally every one and their dogs were out and about. We watched as young families walked, biked, and played all over the neighbourhood. The sight of all these families made me so incredibly sad. I began to feel an unbearable emptiness and longing to have what all these people have.
It really became apparent to me this weekend, how much I really want a family of my own. How much I really want to be a mother! Now, I have always wanted to have a family, it is just for some reason this weekend my heart really decided to tell me how much! Maybe I have been downplaying it in my mind because of the heartbreak we have already been thru that led us to the wonderful, yet tough road to adoption.
I have this feeling of desperation, of need, of wanting and deep sadness. I want to have our child home with us. I have never been good at being patient which is a giant hurdle for me to overcome in this process. I know we have a long wait ahead of us - and if recent referral times are any indication it will be longer than we first anticipated. I told Yvan this weekend that I am not sure how I will get thru the next months. I know this is hard for him too, but he says the hard part for him will come once we have the referral and we are waiting to get our baby. It was 5 months yesterday since our dossier went to Ethiopia! Looking back at it now it doesn't seem like such a long time, but when I look at the road ahead it seems as though there is no end in sight.
I really feel like I shouldn't complain as we have a good life. We are blessed with loving family and fantastic friends, 3 awesome furry "kids", a beautiful home and a small but successful business. Yet, something is definitely missing. The whole in my heart can no longer be hidden and I am tired of trying. There are so many days I put on my happy face when all I want to do is cry out and tell people how I am feeling.
I know we can't complain about the wait because there are families who have been waiting much, much longer than us for a referral and I can't begin to imagine how they are feeling. I look up to these other families as beacons of hope. If they can do it, so can we....right?
I can't control this process and that is another big hurdle for me to overcome. I like to be in control....however, my hands are tied and I am forced to wait and be patient.
I don't always feel this sad and I know this too shall pass - a hug from Yvan, a good laugh or cry, a call from a friend -will bring me out of it!
But right now, today, I feel blue!
Yvan and I love to walk around our neighbourhood with our dog and just take in the beauty of the area we call home. It is a lovely, older area in the city and there are lots of cute little character homes. The neighbours are friendly and there is always lots of activity going on outside of our window.
We have been trying to start a family for close to 3 years now ( a drop in the bucket compared to some) but to us it feels like an eternity. In the past when we went for our nightly walk, we would look fondly at the other families also out for their walks. We dreamed of the day that we would be walking the dog and pushing a stroller like others. We have been able to watch as other couples in our vicinity have started and grown their families. Many of our neighbours were like us - just a couple. Over the last couple of years we have seen many of these couples have their first child. We watched as they walked by our house in the various stages of pregnancy, and then celebrated for them when we saw them the first time out with the wee on in the stroller. Some of our neighbours have or are having their second or third child...and yet we are still without the dream we once thought was so easy to attain.
This past weekend we went for our first big walk about with the dog as the weather was so phenomenal. It was quite apparent to us that everyone in the entire city had the same idea as we did and literally every one and their dogs were out and about. We watched as young families walked, biked, and played all over the neighbourhood. The sight of all these families made me so incredibly sad. I began to feel an unbearable emptiness and longing to have what all these people have.
It really became apparent to me this weekend, how much I really want a family of my own. How much I really want to be a mother! Now, I have always wanted to have a family, it is just for some reason this weekend my heart really decided to tell me how much! Maybe I have been downplaying it in my mind because of the heartbreak we have already been thru that led us to the wonderful, yet tough road to adoption.
I have this feeling of desperation, of need, of wanting and deep sadness. I want to have our child home with us. I have never been good at being patient which is a giant hurdle for me to overcome in this process. I know we have a long wait ahead of us - and if recent referral times are any indication it will be longer than we first anticipated. I told Yvan this weekend that I am not sure how I will get thru the next months. I know this is hard for him too, but he says the hard part for him will come once we have the referral and we are waiting to get our baby. It was 5 months yesterday since our dossier went to Ethiopia! Looking back at it now it doesn't seem like such a long time, but when I look at the road ahead it seems as though there is no end in sight.
I really feel like I shouldn't complain as we have a good life. We are blessed with loving family and fantastic friends, 3 awesome furry "kids", a beautiful home and a small but successful business. Yet, something is definitely missing. The whole in my heart can no longer be hidden and I am tired of trying. There are so many days I put on my happy face when all I want to do is cry out and tell people how I am feeling.
I know we can't complain about the wait because there are families who have been waiting much, much longer than us for a referral and I can't begin to imagine how they are feeling. I look up to these other families as beacons of hope. If they can do it, so can we....right?
I can't control this process and that is another big hurdle for me to overcome. I like to be in control....however, my hands are tied and I am forced to wait and be patient.
I don't always feel this sad and I know this too shall pass - a hug from Yvan, a good laugh or cry, a call from a friend -will bring me out of it!
But right now, today, I feel blue!
Friday, April 11, 2008
10 Interesting Facts About Ethiopia
Here are 10 interesting facts about Ethiopia that we learned recently:
1. Cradle of Human beings - Ethiopia is the land of the origin of the first human species, that is justified with discover of Lucy, “Lucy” was found in 1974 by an American Paleo Anthropologist and they have been listening to the music called “Lucy in the sky with Diamonds” from where she got her name. Lucy aged 3.2 million years and its scientific name is Australopithecus Afarensis.
2. Ethiopian Calendar - Ethiopia still retains the Julian calendar, in which the year is divided into 12 months of 30 days each, and a 13th month of five days and six days during the leap year. The Ethiopian Calendar is almost eight years behind the Gregorian calendar. (They just celebrated the year 2000 last year)
3. Ethiopian Alphabet and Numbers - Ethiopia is the only African country with its own Alphabet Letters and numbers that traces its origin back to Sabean. The Ethiopian Alphabet consists of 33 letters each with 7 characters. In Earlier times and also currently in rural areas people start school in “Kies Timehrt” and “ Yeneta” is a title given to Ethiopian Traditional primary teachers. Most of the time these primary Alphabet teachers are priests from the Ethiopian Orthodox church.
4. Birth Place of Coffee - Ethiopians have a very beautiful traditional coffee ceremony, its unimaginable for most Ethiopians to start a new day with out several cups of coffee. Coffee is the best drink an Ethiopian family offers to honor guests, as coffee ceremony is the best occasion for a get-together with neighbors and friends. Ethiopian coffee ceremony might have been crated with the discovery of coffee itself in its south western heartland, in particular place called “Kaffa” from which, many experts of the uniquely fragrant and relaxing bean believe, the firm coffee has originated and joined the international lexicon. Coffee, café, etc
5. Amharic Language - Amharic is the official language of Ethiopia, although English, Italian, French and Arabic are also widely spoken. Outside the larger cities and towns, indigenous languages are likely to be spoken - of which there are over eighty, along with some 200 dialects. The most common of these are Oromo, Tigrinya and Somali.
6. Location and Boundary - Ethiopia is strategically located in the Horn of Africa, bordered by the Sudan on the west, Somalia and Djibouti on the East, Eritrea on the North and Kenya on the South. Its proximity to the Middle East and Europe, together with its easy access to the major ports of the region, enhances its international trade.
7. Capital of Ethiopia - Addis Ababa, the largest city that is the seat of the federal government of Ethiopia, lies in the central plateau at an altitude of 2400 meters. Its average temperature is 160c .Addis Ababa was founded in 1887. It is a host to the African Unity (AU) and the United Nations Economic Commission for Africa (ECA). Several other international organizations have their head quarters and branch offices in the Capital. Addis Ababa is also the center of commerce and industry.
8. Climate - Although Ethiopia lies within 15 degrees North of the Equator, owing to the moderating influence of high altitude, the country enjoys moderate temperature and pleasant climate, with average temperature rarely exceeding 20oc (68oF). The sparsely populated lowlands typically have sub–tropical and tropical climates. At approximately 850mm (34inches), the average annual rainfall for the whole country is considered to be moderate by global standards. In most of the high lands, rainfall occurs in two distinct seasons: the “small rains” during February and March and the “big rains” from June to September.
9. Flag and Emblem - The Ethiopian flag comprises three colors. .In the center there is a national coat of arms .The three colors are set horizontally in equal dimension with Green at the top, Yellow in the middle, and Red at the bottom .- The national coat of arms is a blue circle with depiction; Straight and equal lines of yellow come from all direction and join each other .
A star formed by the straight and equal lines. Yellow rays radiating from the joints of the straight & equal. The national coat of arms on the flag reflects the desire of the nations , nationalities and peoples of Ethiopia ,as well as of its religious communities to live together in unity and equality.
10. Size of Ethiopia - Ethiopia covers an area of 1.14 million square Kilometers (944,000 square miles)
*this info comes to us via websites and books we are currently reading - we are sure some facts may vary depending on what you read :)
1. Cradle of Human beings - Ethiopia is the land of the origin of the first human species, that is justified with discover of Lucy, “Lucy” was found in 1974 by an American Paleo Anthropologist and they have been listening to the music called “Lucy in the sky with Diamonds” from where she got her name. Lucy aged 3.2 million years and its scientific name is Australopithecus Afarensis.
2. Ethiopian Calendar - Ethiopia still retains the Julian calendar, in which the year is divided into 12 months of 30 days each, and a 13th month of five days and six days during the leap year. The Ethiopian Calendar is almost eight years behind the Gregorian calendar. (They just celebrated the year 2000 last year)
3. Ethiopian Alphabet and Numbers - Ethiopia is the only African country with its own Alphabet Letters and numbers that traces its origin back to Sabean. The Ethiopian Alphabet consists of 33 letters each with 7 characters. In Earlier times and also currently in rural areas people start school in “Kies Timehrt” and “ Yeneta” is a title given to Ethiopian Traditional primary teachers. Most of the time these primary Alphabet teachers are priests from the Ethiopian Orthodox church.
4. Birth Place of Coffee - Ethiopians have a very beautiful traditional coffee ceremony, its unimaginable for most Ethiopians to start a new day with out several cups of coffee. Coffee is the best drink an Ethiopian family offers to honor guests, as coffee ceremony is the best occasion for a get-together with neighbors and friends. Ethiopian coffee ceremony might have been crated with the discovery of coffee itself in its south western heartland, in particular place called “Kaffa” from which, many experts of the uniquely fragrant and relaxing bean believe, the firm coffee has originated and joined the international lexicon. Coffee, café, etc
5. Amharic Language - Amharic is the official language of Ethiopia, although English, Italian, French and Arabic are also widely spoken. Outside the larger cities and towns, indigenous languages are likely to be spoken - of which there are over eighty, along with some 200 dialects. The most common of these are Oromo, Tigrinya and Somali.
6. Location and Boundary - Ethiopia is strategically located in the Horn of Africa, bordered by the Sudan on the west, Somalia and Djibouti on the East, Eritrea on the North and Kenya on the South. Its proximity to the Middle East and Europe, together with its easy access to the major ports of the region, enhances its international trade.
7. Capital of Ethiopia - Addis Ababa, the largest city that is the seat of the federal government of Ethiopia, lies in the central plateau at an altitude of 2400 meters. Its average temperature is 160c .Addis Ababa was founded in 1887. It is a host to the African Unity (AU) and the United Nations Economic Commission for Africa (ECA). Several other international organizations have their head quarters and branch offices in the Capital. Addis Ababa is also the center of commerce and industry.
8. Climate - Although Ethiopia lies within 15 degrees North of the Equator, owing to the moderating influence of high altitude, the country enjoys moderate temperature and pleasant climate, with average temperature rarely exceeding 20oc (68oF). The sparsely populated lowlands typically have sub–tropical and tropical climates. At approximately 850mm (34inches), the average annual rainfall for the whole country is considered to be moderate by global standards. In most of the high lands, rainfall occurs in two distinct seasons: the “small rains” during February and March and the “big rains” from June to September.
9. Flag and Emblem - The Ethiopian flag comprises three colors. .In the center there is a national coat of arms .The three colors are set horizontally in equal dimension with Green at the top, Yellow in the middle, and Red at the bottom .- The national coat of arms is a blue circle with depiction; Straight and equal lines of yellow come from all direction and join each other .
A star formed by the straight and equal lines. Yellow rays radiating from the joints of the straight & equal. The national coat of arms on the flag reflects the desire of the nations , nationalities and peoples of Ethiopia ,as well as of its religious communities to live together in unity and equality.
10. Size of Ethiopia - Ethiopia covers an area of 1.14 million square Kilometers (944,000 square miles)
*this info comes to us via websites and books we are currently reading - we are sure some facts may vary depending on what you read :)
Wednesday, April 9, 2008
My Friend Che
I met Che the summer after I graduated from high school. We were both 17 and working at Fuddruckers full time. We didn't hit it off right at first...we were both very stubborn and often didn't see eye to eye on things. Over time and the fact that we saw each other at work almost every day we became close friends. There was a group of about 8 of us who all worked together and being that we were the young ones at Fudds working full time we gravitated to towards each other.
Daegen, Mike, Brad, Che and I were inseparable and could often be found driving around in Daegen's Festiva listening to music, playing cards after a late night closing shift or just hanging around at someones house. We were on the top of the world and thought nothing would ever bring us down.
Che had the biggest,brown eyes you ever saw and a mop of unruly wavy brown hair that somehow always looked fantastic. He always had a big grin for his friends and was always interested in what you were up to. He cared immensely for his family and friends and I dare say would have done anything for them. He made everyone around him comfortable and was always up for a laugh or a good conversation.
A year after I met Che he was in a serious car accident that left him paralyzed from the waist down. Our world came crashing down and we knew that life would never, ever be the same. Overnight we went from being carefree teens to adults.
Che struggled with what had happened to him but he persevered. From him I learned that life goes on and that you make the best of it with the hand you are dealt. He didn't complain (to us at least). He went on in life to be a very successful artist. He taught us all that life is precious and should not be taken for granted. He showed us that no matter what you can still dream big and reach your goals.
As often happens, we all grew apart and went our separate ways. Some of us moved away to go to school, some got married and others started careers. I would from time to time bump into Che and his face would light up and I would know that he was glad to see me. He was one of those people that you could go with out seeing for a long time, yet the conversation left off from the last time you saw him as if you had seen him only yesterday.
Che passed away this week at the age of 36. It is unfathomable to me that he should leave this world at such a young age. He touched so many people in his short time here. I will never forget him or the times we shared. When I look back at the most memorable times of life...I will remember fondly that Che was a part of it, He had a huge impact on me and I never had a chance to tell him. My mind tells me there is a reason why he was taken so soon, it will just take my heart a while to understand.
Che, my friend, you are loved and will be missed.
Tuesday, April 8, 2008
Weekend In Whistler
This past weekend we had the fantastic opportunity to spend 4 days in Whistler. We went for the National Home builder's Conference (for those of you who don't know Yvan is a home builder). Yvan sits on the executive board as vice president for our region and every year they send the executives and their spouses (yaaaaa) to the national conference. And this year it was in Whistler!!!
Neither of us had ever been to Whistler before and we were both really excited to go. We flew out Thursday afternoon, landed in Vancouver and picked up our rental car. We loaded our bags into the cute little 4 door Yaris and took to the roads of Vancouver. Luckily, our flight was about 45 minutes late and so we missed rush hour traffic in downtown Van! As we have spent lots of time in Vancouver we know how hairy it can be but we breezed right thru in about 20 min which is amazing!!! We hit the north side of Vancouver and started the long, winding and construction filled road to Whistler. Unluckily, our flight was 45 min. late so we had to drive up the mountain at dusk. Holy crow!! That road is crazy at the best of times but with all the construction for the 2010 Olympics it is a bit of nightmare - we would drive down on Monday during the day and it wasn't as bad when you can see what is coming at in the daylight! It is hard to believe that the crew is ahead of schedule and under budget - you wouldn't think so when you see the crushed rock, gravel and unfinished road work that lay ahead. Those construction workers are brave indeed.
The weekend was great! The conference is all about home builder's from across the country getting together to celebrate the industry, network, learn and have fun.
Saturday evening was a 60's themed dinner and dance - and a band that played music from the 50's, 60's, 70's and 80's - the lead singer did everyone from Elvis, Diana Ross, Tom Jones, Tina Turner, Neil Diamond - they did Abba, Cyndi Lauper etc. It was fun!!! Sunday night was the gala - we got to dress up all fancy schmancy!!!
We saw some amazing guest speakers. Bob MacDonald, Joel Cohen (a writer on the Simpsons) Jessica Holmes (Royal Canadian Airfarce perfomer) Jessica does the funniest Celine Dion impersonation ever!! The one that touched us the most was Micheal "Pinball" Clemons" from the Toronto Argonauts. I am not a football fan in the least but he was a fantastic motivational speaker. He had people in tears (men too) with his passion and love for life! For a football player he is little in stature (only 5'5") but he has the biggest heart and personality I have ever seen. His main theme was "we play this game for each other" meaning the game of life...and if we remember this in our day to day life we can't go wrong. He said life shouldn't be about playing only for ourselves but for everyone we know. I have never been so inspired by a speaker as I was by Pinball - he truly has the gift of inspiration!
My mom, Auntie Kerry, Cherie and Hayley also were up at Whistler this weekend - so we got to spend some quality time with them as well. We did some shopping, eating and visiting and oh did I mention shopping - hee hee! No, I don't always shop!!!
If you are ever in Whistler - be sure to go to Zog's - they have the best Poutine in the West!!! The coolest thing about Whistler is that you can sit outside and eat at all the great little restaurants. They have heaters and some places have blankets so you can wrap yourself up all cozy like. This way you get to people watch and take in the fresh air!
The only thing we didn't get to do was snowboard - boo! Friday morning Yvan and I woke up and pressed our noses against the hotel window in unadulterated envy and watched all the people skiing and snowboarding down Blackcomb - we are definitely going to go back and hit the slopes!!!
Next Year's conference is in Quebec City - Whoot!! I love Quebec City - can't wait!!!
We play this game for you!!!
Neither of us had ever been to Whistler before and we were both really excited to go. We flew out Thursday afternoon, landed in Vancouver and picked up our rental car. We loaded our bags into the cute little 4 door Yaris and took to the roads of Vancouver. Luckily, our flight was about 45 minutes late and so we missed rush hour traffic in downtown Van! As we have spent lots of time in Vancouver we know how hairy it can be but we breezed right thru in about 20 min which is amazing!!! We hit the north side of Vancouver and started the long, winding and construction filled road to Whistler. Unluckily, our flight was 45 min. late so we had to drive up the mountain at dusk. Holy crow!! That road is crazy at the best of times but with all the construction for the 2010 Olympics it is a bit of nightmare - we would drive down on Monday during the day and it wasn't as bad when you can see what is coming at in the daylight! It is hard to believe that the crew is ahead of schedule and under budget - you wouldn't think so when you see the crushed rock, gravel and unfinished road work that lay ahead. Those construction workers are brave indeed.
The weekend was great! The conference is all about home builder's from across the country getting together to celebrate the industry, network, learn and have fun.
Saturday evening was a 60's themed dinner and dance - and a band that played music from the 50's, 60's, 70's and 80's - the lead singer did everyone from Elvis, Diana Ross, Tom Jones, Tina Turner, Neil Diamond - they did Abba, Cyndi Lauper etc. It was fun!!! Sunday night was the gala - we got to dress up all fancy schmancy!!!
We saw some amazing guest speakers. Bob MacDonald, Joel Cohen (a writer on the Simpsons) Jessica Holmes (Royal Canadian Airfarce perfomer) Jessica does the funniest Celine Dion impersonation ever!! The one that touched us the most was Micheal "Pinball" Clemons" from the Toronto Argonauts. I am not a football fan in the least but he was a fantastic motivational speaker. He had people in tears (men too) with his passion and love for life! For a football player he is little in stature (only 5'5") but he has the biggest heart and personality I have ever seen. His main theme was "we play this game for each other" meaning the game of life...and if we remember this in our day to day life we can't go wrong. He said life shouldn't be about playing only for ourselves but for everyone we know. I have never been so inspired by a speaker as I was by Pinball - he truly has the gift of inspiration!
My mom, Auntie Kerry, Cherie and Hayley also were up at Whistler this weekend - so we got to spend some quality time with them as well. We did some shopping, eating and visiting and oh did I mention shopping - hee hee! No, I don't always shop!!!
If you are ever in Whistler - be sure to go to Zog's - they have the best Poutine in the West!!! The coolest thing about Whistler is that you can sit outside and eat at all the great little restaurants. They have heaters and some places have blankets so you can wrap yourself up all cozy like. This way you get to people watch and take in the fresh air!
The only thing we didn't get to do was snowboard - boo! Friday morning Yvan and I woke up and pressed our noses against the hotel window in unadulterated envy and watched all the people skiing and snowboarding down Blackcomb - we are definitely going to go back and hit the slopes!!!
Next Year's conference is in Quebec City - Whoot!! I love Quebec City - can't wait!!!
We play this game for you!!!
Wednesday, April 2, 2008
Snazzy New T-Shirts!
A month or so ago I ordered some t-shirts from an adoptive mom (Lisa) I "met" thru an online support group for parents adopting internationally. She makes these cute t-shirts and $4 from each shirt goes to help orphaned children in Ethiopia thru CHOIR.
They came yesterday and the best part of all was that Yvan didn't know and was totally surprised - yeah!
Thanks Lisa, we love them!!!
They came yesterday and the best part of all was that Yvan didn't know and was totally surprised - yeah!
Thanks Lisa, we love them!!!
Cute little Kidlet t-shirt!!
Tuesday, April 1, 2008
Yeaaaaaah Kijiji!!!
Thanks Kijiji and Friends!!!
The other day we were out looking at child trailer/jogging attachments so we can bike and run with our new kidlet. We were looking at the chariots but they were so expensive and it sort of scared us off.
We ran into some friends who were also out shopping for the same item and said that you can find all kinds of used kids stuff on Kijiji. However, they said the child trailers were hard to come by because they go so quickly. We got a phone call from said friend yesterday saying there was a MEC trailer for sale and told us to email right away! Which we did!
Yeaaaaaaahhhhh! We got the trailer, it is practically brand new and we got it for a fraction of the cost :) What is better than that? Nothing that is what...well...actually a referral is better than that! Hee Hee.
If you want to check out great items in your area on Kijiji go to www.kijiji.ca. You can sell stuff here too! The best part I believe is that you don't have to pay to sell your stuff like on Ebay.
The other day we were out looking at child trailer/jogging attachments so we can bike and run with our new kidlet. We were looking at the chariots but they were so expensive and it sort of scared us off.
We ran into some friends who were also out shopping for the same item and said that you can find all kinds of used kids stuff on Kijiji. However, they said the child trailers were hard to come by because they go so quickly. We got a phone call from said friend yesterday saying there was a MEC trailer for sale and told us to email right away! Which we did!
Yeaaaaaaahhhhh! We got the trailer, it is practically brand new and we got it for a fraction of the cost :) What is better than that? Nothing that is what...well...actually a referral is better than that! Hee Hee.
If you want to check out great items in your area on Kijiji go to www.kijiji.ca. You can sell stuff here too! The best part I believe is that you don't have to pay to sell your stuff like on Ebay.
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