Monday, June 13, 2011

Does It Get Easier?

I have had this question from a few people who have recently come home from Ethiopia with their children.

One week today will mark 5 months home for us.

5 months!

I'm not sure where the time has gone.

In the beginning, some days seemed to drag on forever as I tried to keep Ade engaged and still keep my sanity. But then the weekend would be upon us and I would think "What the heck did we do all week?"

Those first 2 months home I couldn't get out the door before noon...and then we couldn't go any where because it was time for lunch and then a nap. Not to mention we were snow bound with awesome -35 temps.

Showering seemed to be something I did in a past life. If I managed to squeak in a shower forget about doing my hair.

It was hard. I have moaned about it in past posts here and here.

Organized I was not. Dishes piled up! Laundry went unwashed and the kitchen table overflowed with piles (and NOT the kind you get on your derrière either).

Sometime in the last 6-8 weeks things have gotten better. Settled if you will. A routine of sorts is happening.

I think it started to fall into place when we planned our first mini-holiday to attend a family wedding in Victoria on the May long weekend.

I had been fretting over this vacation since we booked it. How would Ade be on the 2 flights plus airport layovers we had in the schedule. While they weren't long flights (each being an hour or so) and the time in airports was a couple of hours it still had me in a panic thinking our wee child who seemed to be fully embracing his TWONESS would be the child on the plane screaming, throwing things, crying, and running up and down the aisles while other passengers gave us the dreaded hairy-eye ball.

Not to mention getting to the airport on time. We are renowned for pushing things to the limit time wise and never get anywhere on time.

None of this happened. In fact, we were packed and ready to go on time!

He was a great little traveller. He did say a couple of times "All done." while we were in mid-air but the power of Cheerios always seems to win out.

I feared being in a new house with people he wasn't familiar with would throw him for a huge loop. I thought he wouldn't nap and would be up all night.

He was not. He napped and he slept 12 hours both nights.

He is quite the adaptable little dude. He proved this again when he and I went to the lake this past weekend with some friends. I will post more on that tomorrow.

When we returned home, it clicked in me that life can still be active and full of fun. We, meaning I, have made great strides in the "Life is not over and you can take a 2 year old places" category.

This is not to say he is perfect or an angel. He is not. He is 2 and as such has a 2year old's approach to everything. He can bring me to me knees in tears of frustration faster then Bruce Lee could drop kick someone.

That approach being "The world is my oyster and if you don't let me do want I want I will sit here and cry and kick my arms and legs until you do." O.k. not always,but
there are times.

He is curious, adventurous, smart, funny, outgoing and let's not forget cute. No, people will not let us forget how cute he is.

But I am getting into a "Isn't my kid fantastic?" mode and away from the "Does it get any easier?" bit.

But really, Isn't he fantastic????

Now, I can have him, the dogs, Yvan, diaper bag packed and stroller out the door lickety-split! When we went to the lake this weekend I thought I am never going to make my 2pm deadline but I was actually ready to go at 1pm.

It is getting better.

Does it get any easier?


I don't think parenting gets easier. I think the ride is just gearing up. We have just started up the first incline on the roller coaster of parenting with the teens years still ahead (Yup, thinkin' about the teen years already).

But it gets better.

Less overwhelming.

Much more fun!


Anonymous said...

As my wise girlfriends that have teenage children will attest too...NOPE...doesn't get easier, the issues are always there, they just change in magnitude ;) But you'll at least have a groove and routine to how you deal with things!

PS. Will try to call you one night this week!

Carolyn said...

Well said my friend! Glad that you and Ade are getting into your own groove! It feels great when that happens. Each month seems to get better and better!


Melissa said...


The "isn't my kid fantastic mode" tells me that things are getting better! They might not get easier, but I don't think anything will be as hard as your first few months as a family.

Rowan Family Tree said...

I think the parenting skills ramp up, though!!! lol Or they did for us.

He's so cute in the past post. Keep them great pics coming!

Rowan Family Tree said...

I frequent your blog, and know that you care deeply about kids in Africa.

You may or may not know that I’m the president of Vulnerable Children Society, a Canadian non-profit that works with Ethiopians to sponsor children in four different communities in Ethiopia. We have many children waiting to be sponsored, and were wondering if you, as a member of the adoption blogging community, would PLEASE POST OUR SPONSORSHIP VIDEO AND A LINK TO OUR WEBSITE ON YOUR BLOG. We would really appreciate it!! as we need your help to extend our reach and find sponsors for waiting children.

Here is the youtube video:

And here is a blurb about what we do. Thanks so much for your support!!! We really appreciate it!

Vulnerable Children Society is a Canadian non-profit organization that helps children in Ethiopia to survive and thrive. With their partner, Faya Orphanage, Vulnerable Children sponsors children and families in four communities in Ethiopia, so that despite their hardships, the kids can remain in their communities while receiving medical care, food, a family home and a chance to attend school.
For only $35 a month, you can make the world of difference to a child and their family. When you work with Vulnerable Children, you know that skilled Canadian volunteers and professional Ethiopians are ensuring that your money is wisely invested in deserving children.

As the video says, ever child deserves a future. Please consider sponsoring a child.

You can see children available for sponsorship on Vulnerable Children Society’s homepage:

Claudia said...

LOVE this post. 'No, it doesn't get easier but it does get better' is probably the best summary of post-adoption I've ever read. LOVE IT!

andrea said...

You post is music to the ears of a girl just home three weeks with her 4 year-old and 2-year-old. We're already seeing so much progress and I am so hopeful for all of our futures! A

Tova said...

Love this post. I could go on and on about why I love it, but I will just say I love it. :)

Joy said...

Very nicely stated. We have been with our kids full-time for 4 weeks, and my husband has been back to work for just over a week. We've already have one ER visit, bought a vehicle, and attended church...oh, and I've done a solo shopping trip with all three in tow. And while everything is certainly more complicated, everything we do that was part of our life before kids makes me feel like this is still my life, and the kids are just becoming part of it...which is a relief, because I imagined 20 years of feeling like I was in a different universe, and putting all sorts of things on "hold" - can't say I'm at the part where I'm having more fun, but I'm feeling ok about things, and your post was very encouraging.

Julie said...

Agree. :)