Thursday, July 2, 2009

July????

Is it really July?

July!

It can't be...my calendar must be wrong...but no...yesterday was Canada Day which is always July 1st and has been for a long time now!

Oh my...it is July!

6 months of 2009 have already passed....ugh! 6 months until we hit 2010...Double ugh!

Where did the time go?

It seems...looking back...that it went by very quickly.

But as I sit here typing this post...I know that each day of the last 6 months felt like an eternity.

I see the summer (or what is left of it) ahead of me and I think to myself "How am I going to get thru each and every never ending day?"

In a little less than 5 months I will turn 38.

38!!!!! *sigh*

38 seems to be coming so fast...I don't want it to come yet...I am not ready...I wanted to be a mother before I turned 38.

Yet, this day seems to be looming in front of me...I look at the clock and I swear to you it seems as if the minute hand isn't moving. Like time is standing still!

I used to have dreams of trying to run really fast to get away from something but it was near impossible to get moving.

Now I have dreams I am trying to run to something but the road ahead keeps stretching out in front of me and every step I take feels like I have lead weights on my feet.

Did I mention that I will be 38 this year? Oh yeah..I did....38............

How can life feel like it is whizzing by yet taking so long at the same time?

Have you ever felt like that?

I keep myself busy.

My schedule is full but each day, week, month drags with anticipation, wanting, need, and sometimes even desperation.

I laugh. I cry. I get angry. I feel sad. I am happy. I can go thru a range of emotions in about 5 minutes flat.

Yvan will tell you that 5 minutes feels like forever!

Time is passing so quickly.

And yet time is passing so slowly.

July?

Really?

15 comments:

Chad, Laura and Sara said...

Time , what a funny thing sometimes - we hope things come quickly (like our referrals), while other things we hope don't come at all (like birthdays). Yet, regardless, we wait and wait for the time to pass.

July???? At least it is summer.
38???? At least your not 40.

Been thinking of you lots lately - hope you are hangin' in.

Laura

Julie said...

Take solace in the fact that you will always be younger than me.
I have felt the same way, but will spare you the advice.
Hugs to you. Hugs and Pinkberry, and No Doubt.

passmycoffee said...

Happy July! It is hard to believe that this year is half over and the days are now getting shorter again and still no referral.......Yuck!

The good thing about July is that means summer is finally here so it is time for margaritas on the deck!

haze said...

Yeah, I can't believe it's July either. The summer is flying...too bad the winter will drag, as per.

Enjoy a cold bevy in the hot summer this weekend, and keep your sh** together, sistah.

p.s. 38? As Julie says, you'll always be younger than me, so that's something for you to smile about ;-)

Brendan and Mary said...

Time is cruel! I think every person can relate to that one! Whether you've lost a loved one or are waiting to meet one, time tortures you!

Oh Rana! All I can say is pass the time in the sun with a cold one!

Mary

P.S. I never would have guessed any where close to 38 so you should feel good that time hasn't taken it's toll on that area of your life!

Sharla said...

July...may be your favorite month after this one...I hope so.

38...will be your very best, or at least most exciting and life changing year.

It's all gonna be good.

Carolyn said...

I can relate girl! I find that time is standing still right now. Birthday's are not as fun right now but next year you will get a cute homemade card from your little one and it will be the best gift ever!


Carolyn

Ramona said...

Rana, every time I open my email I think of you... and today felt like just sitting and crying becasue I so want your feel to be floating off the ground... I'm still hoping and praying that this will become THE July...
{Hugs}
Ramona

Rhonda, Kristin, Eden said...

Wash your mouth out with soap...6 months more, no way!!

At least it's hot, and you have ready access to tasty, cold beverages.

We'll come in one day to visit very soon!

K_I_T_ said...

Just to let you know, when you told me you were almost 38 the other day, I truly thought...no way. You look younger than I do, so no need to fret about LOOKING 38....
As for being a mom by 38, hopefully you will be a mom, just won't have her/him with you yet.
And as for it being July...I know. What the frick. This year is going way too fast, but yet every day is so slow.

**word verification**
swierbo? I must be a loser and maybe these actually ARE NOT real words?!

Darrell and Jess said...

I can't believe it either... crazy

D Dae said...

{Hugs} We will have some fun when you are in town visiting!

Breelyn and Mike said...

Rana - whenever I come back to blogging about our adoption process I think of you. For some reason your blog has struck a cord with me...probably how close our situations are. We were married to our hubbies at about the same time, we are about the same age..we both don't have other children...well we both have the furry type.

The waiting is so hard...I hear you...I feel you...I know.

Thank you for your posts, they keep me company and make me laugh.

Breelyn

Anonymous said...

tears for your post. sorry. sk

Gabrielle said...

I know it won't help for you to know that I was 41 3/4 before I became a Mom and a long wait it was. But for every person who tells you they were this old or that old or you're young, they aren't you who longs and wishes and waits. The good news is that it WILL be soon and hopefully not too far into your 38th year!