On the Eve of A New Year

2010

Can you believe it?

Midnight tonight will usher in the year 2010.

I remember when I was a kid not even being able to fathom the idea of the year 2000 and how old being 28 seemed to me let alone 2010 and 38...

Yvan has been fond of reminding me lately how none of us are supposed to be here right now and we have been living the last 10 years on borrowed time...of course you have to really, truly know him to know he is being facetious and doesn't really think life as we know it should have ended at midnight in 2000...but now his new schtick is that 2012 is the year we should all be worried about..sigh!

I don't think I have ever had such a tumultuous year as this past one. There were times I wasn't sure I could make it one more day without knowing who our wee one was. Each day seemed to take a month and each month seemed like a year had passed.

As much as time seemed to be like molasses pouring out of a container, taking its sweet ever-lovin' time, it also seemed like time was slipping thru my fingers...you know "like sand through the hour glass" and all. It seemed like I was plunging head first in to my middle age years (don't laugh or pooh, pooh me it is truly how I felt) and hadn't become a parent yet which was "inconceivable".

We decided to fill the time and declared it the "Year of Us"and were going to go on exciting adventures before it wasn't as easy to get up and go.

Off we headed down the yellow brick road of our life which took us to...

The beach where we relaxed and sipped cold drinks while sunning our selves.

Shortly after that we headed to the land of movie stars and paparazzi - L.A. where we had the distinct pleasure of staying with two of the nicest people we have ever met who were waiting for their kids just as we were (now they are a lovely, beautiful family of 4)

Then THE DAY came when everything changed for us.

We became a family!!!

We had baby, a boy, our Ade.

It was the the best day I had ever experienced aside from the day I married Yvan.

In case you don't remember it went like this.

"Inconceivably" we had become parents.

We enjoyed the "referral high" for quite a while and took our final big excursion in the "Year of Us" and headed to a destination which become for both of us Love at First Taxi Ride!!

When we arrived home we hoped the news of a court date would quickly arrive proceeded shortly by the hugely anticipated travel date...

...but sometimes, the road of life is full of unexpected twists and turns. While we both thought these twists and turns were behind us now that we knew we who our wee baby boy was it seemed it was not to be...we are going to experience the rollercoaster ride for a bit longer.

The "Year of Us" has been made possible because of all the love and support we have gotten from family and friends - both non-adoption and adoption alike.

Our families - we have both been blessed with the best families a couple for ask - my mom and auntie, Yvan's parents, sister and brother - have really allowed us to feel what we were feeling, talk when we needed too...not talk when we couldn't...cry, scream, laugh maniacally, and whatever other emotions we found ourselves experiencing. Thru it all they have believed for us when we couldn't. When we are guarding our hearts they hope for us with all of theirs that our dreams will come true. We couldn't be more thankful for their unwavering support...even we snark at them ;)

Our friends - we are lucky to have some truly, great friends in our life...friends we had before we started this crazy journey to family who have stood by us and while maybe don't exactly know what we are going thru let us know they are still there when need them. They allow us our moments of selfishness and kick us in the butts to think about other things too! Thank you for years of friendship - it means more than you know mainly because we don't tell you enough.

Our adoption community - never have I met a group of people so phenomenal in my life. You allow us to pour out our feelings. You seem to like us, really like us! You never judge, just offer unending support, even when I am a broken record of boo hooingness...no one understands like those who are experiencing what you are...there may be varied degrees but at the end of the day you know what it is like to want a family so badly and for it to take so long you think you might just not make it. You have held us up when we couldn't walk...you have opened up and shared your stories with us so we know we are not alone...because if we were alone in this...oh boy..it wouldn't be pretty!! Thank you, thank you, thank you.

On the eve of a New Year, we reflect over the past year...we are beyond grateful for all life has given us..loving families, supportive friends, the means to travel, our health, and the ability to communicate and connect with others.

We are thankful for the love we have for a wee boy who WILL, one day, in the year 2010, be ours.

Happy New Year!!!!

And All Thru the House...

...just two creatures were stirring!

Happy Holidays

I have lost my zest for blogging these days...I used to have all kinds of inspiration for writing a post...some silly, some not...but these days I literally have nothing.

Christmas is right around the corner...how did that happen?

We have not heard anything new on the paperwork front since a couple of weeks ago when were told it was promised and was coming....but no confirmation it has arrived.

We did get new photos of our wee boy and he is breathtakingly gorgeous...he has gained weight and is a little chubberton....and he looks so healthy! We are told he is quite the little character and charmer...you just need to see his long lashes and beautiful smile to understand why!

Our hearts ache for some positive news....so hopefully in the New Year we will have some to pass on.

The next week or so is going to be busy with last minute Christmas shopping (because I always leave it to the last second) and getting together with friends!

So, for now I am taking a blog break until after the holidays.

Happy Hanukkah, Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays and all the best in the New Year to everyone we know near and far.

Much Love,

Rana and Yvan

Bah Humbug or Deck the Halls???

It's that time of the year again.

Christmas time!!!

I am feeling a bit Scrooge and Tiny Tim

or

Grinch and Cindy-Lou Who

or

Mr. Potter and George Bailey

about it all.

I go back and forth between being excited about it and wanting to put up all of our decorations

to

just wanting to crawl in bed and pretend it all isn't happening!!!

Bah Humbug!!!! I say to myself when I think about putting up the tree.

Because I can't stand the fact there won't be a wee one with us on Christmas morning yet again.

We won't have Baby Ade home to open presents with.

I found the most adorable pull sled ever -

I keep picturing him in it and Yvan pulling it but I just can't bring myself to buy it...not yet anyways.

Deck the Halls I find myself singing too though as I get caught up in the Christmas spirit.

I really do love Christmas.

It's not the gift giving but the idea of family and friends getting together to celebrate each other...sitting down for a family meal with all of your loved ones or gathering at someone's house for a glass or two of cheer!

It is what I love the most about the holiday season - and all these things we will be doing.

But part of my heart is sad - I hope this year will be the last year we have a kiddie free Christmas but a teeny weeny piece of me worries it won't...silly I know but there it is.

So, if you see me and I say "Bah Humbug" wait a minute and I will probably sing you a song of the season too!

Happy Birthday Muffin Man!!!!!

You are the best husband ever!!!

You will be the greatest dad ever!!

(((((((((((((((((((((((((I love you this much)))))))))))))))))))))))

Be Very, Very Quiet....

...we're hunting for paperwork...and it just might be here!

But SSSSSSHHHHHHHH!!!

Don't exclaim, yell, or cheer to loudly just yet...we don't want to frighten it!

It is very sensitive and doesn't like loud noises as it scares very easily.

We need to use our best indoor voices and say things like:

"here little paperwork"

or

"I've got your favourite...'stamp of approval' waiting just for you"

or

"we will bundle you up with all of your other little paperwork buddies to keep you safe and warm"

then, it might peak its little head out and realize it will all be o.k. and come join the rest of the fold.

sssssshhhhhh....I think I hear it coming....