Quote of the Day

"I think this adoption must be sponsored by Kleenex!"

Exclaimed my husband after looking at the garbage can under my office desk this morning. Said garbage can is brimming with tissue which I have been using to stop the constant leaking that seems to have developed in and around my eyes today.

Oh and does anyone have anything that can help my poor red nose? It hurts from all the sniffling and blowing!

And while you're at can you give me some tips on how to get tea out of my white top - ya, I dumped a whole cup of hot tea all over myself whilst reaching for the above Kleenex to stop the leaking from my eyes.

I have had better days!

The Roller Coaster Ride

You prepare yourself for the ride - you do lots of research finding the right one - you save your money, you stand in line and when you get to the front you are relieved to find you meet the height requirement.

You know this is going to be a crazy ride but you have pumped yourself up for it. How bad could it be really? Everyone else getting off the ride as you get on is smiling and looks happy. Oh sure there are a few people who look a little green in the face but you are strong, you can make it thru with grace and style.

As you get on the ride you are giddy with anticipation. Your palms are sweaty, and your stomach turns nervously! You belt yourself in tightly - you don't want to fall off - no, that wouldn't be cool.

You say a little prayer that the tracks won't fall off or the ride attendant won't fall asleep. You lean back and tell yourself "enjoy the ride".

As you go up the first incline - you are happy, happy you were brave enough to get on the ride. You look at the people who are standing watching the ride - they are too scared to even think about it - they admire you for your bravery...or your lunacy - whatever!

You are seated somewhere in the middle of the ride - you see there a quite a few people ahead of you at the front of the ride - oh how you wish you were there. You turn and look behind you and see the people behind you, their grins telling you it will be o.k - we are in this together!

As you nose dive down the first hill, you think, "heck, ya! I can do this!"

Then the twists and turns start to come - you brace yourself for the next turn, your hair whips around your face and you hold on as tight as you can making your knuckles go white.

You can't believe how long the ride is - when you were in line no one told you it would be so long. You start to panic and wonder if the ride attendant did, indeed, fall asleep - did he forget he had passengers? - will he wake up and bring us home?

As you hurtle thru the ups and downs and twists and turns, you hear others yelling too, you know you are not alone - you take comfort that you are not the only one yelling at the top of their lungs.

You start to feel nauseous - you might not be able to hold on very much longer - you grasp on to your husband because he is stronger and won't let you fly off the ride!!

You scream out "WHAT DID I GET MYSELF INTO?" and "I WOULD LIKE OFF NOW!". The attendant just smiles and says "Soon, you will be able to get off soon. You are almost to the end, but you need to hold on just a little longer."

Could I Just Sleep...

...until we get a referral?

Oy, I am really trying hard not to get my expectations up for next week (our Rep should be sendng out referrals and updates)...but it is really hard :(

Any suggestions on managing my expectations would be greatly appreciated.

One idea I have is to sleep until we hear something!

That would be nice.

I Have No Words

....only tears and more tears.



http://www.sandamianofoundation.org/current_project_fragrant.html

"If you scroll down to the pictures at the bottom you will see the children and how much progress they have made."

Thanks to Sebrina for sharing this - please show everyone you know - we can make a difference.

Good Girls Gone Bad?

Nope - just rocking out to 80's Sing Star!!!!

(me, Auntie B and Cousin C)

(look how proud Yvan is of me - ha ha ha)

Yup, totally missed my calling - shoulda been a rock star!!!!!!!!!!!

He had a dream...

And today this man is making that dream a reality!

My faith that good things happen to good people has been restored!

4 Years Ago Today...

...I married my best friend!!!

Yvan and I met 6 1/2 years ago when we joined the same Ultimate Frisbee team. We call it the summer of love!

I was not one of those girls who dreamed of my wedding from when I was a little girl. I always thought I would get married but I never had any big plans for it.

Many of my friends got married over the years, but I remained single. Always thinking to myself "Hmmmmm, when I am going to meet THE GUY?" I used to ask people how they knew their spouse was the one and inevitably people would tell me "Oh you'll just know!"

Honestly, after dating lots and several failed relationships in my 20's I thought this was load of Horse Patoey!!! There wasn't ONE person for me, there seemed to be NO ONE for me. I was going to become crazy cat lady! And I was off to a good start because I had 2 cats already.

Then one day in May 2002 I pulled up to a field to play my first ever Ultimate game. I was nervous - I was joining a team I only knew 2 people on and I had no clue how to play this crazy game. As I walked on to the field I noticed a group of guys standing in a circle. My friend Blair was there and he introduced me to everyone. When he got to Yvan, I was floored! I have never been so keenly aware of someone in all my life. I couldn't take my eyes off him...of course...he didn't seem to notice me at all ( he says he did). They all went back to what they were doing and all I could think was how am I going to get to know this guy better.


As luck would have it, I was moving to Halifax at the end of the summer for my job and so I wasn't even looking to date anyone. Why would I? It would go no where....boy was I wrong.

When Yvan finally asked me out on a date 2 months later in July (after much smiling and sitting as close as possible to each other at events) I was hooked! In love!!! Apparently so was he - he told me he loved two weeks after our first date!!!


I did move to Halifax at the end of summer. I cried all the way there!!! Two months later (and my 3rd time in a year being laid off from Air Canada) I was back in Saskatoon living with Yvan!

He asked me to marry him exactly 2 years from our first date. We were in Vancouver visiting my parents. He wanted me to be able to tell my mom right after.

We were at Granville Island overlooking the harbour when he said "I want to marry you!" and I said "Well, whenever you ask me, we can get married.". He said " I am asking, I have a ring and everything!" Then he pulled out a beautiful ring with sapphires and diamonds!!! I started to cry and said "really" and he said "Yes, really, you're the girl".

How do I tell you how much Yvan means to me! How do I put it in words and do him justice?

Yvan is kind, funny, smart, sexy, witty, handsome, brilliant, silly,vivacious, spontaneous...and the list goes on.

He is always there for me! When we were going thru fertility treatments and I had all kinds of surgeries, scopes and prodding etc. he was always there. He encouraged me to go back to school after I came back from Halifax. If I want to take a creative dance class, he says "go for it". I have a travel bug and he says "you plan it, I'll be there." My happiness is always foremost in his mind, as his is in mine. He loved my cats that I brought with me into the relationship! He sings with me in the car, and he dances with me in the living room. He doesn't take himself too seriously and knows how to have a good time. He picks me up when I fall, he wipes my tears when I cry....we laugh together until our stomach's ache and we can't breathe.


He is my best friend! The person I can tell everything and anything too! He loves me for me and accepts all my strengths but more importantly understands my weaknesses.



I know he will be an amazing father. I can't wait to see him with our wee one(s). But no matter what happens in life, as long as I have him by my side everything will be as it should.

Yvan I love you! Thanks for making me "The Girl" you are always and will forever be "The Guy" for me!

Seven (7) Things

I was tagged by Adam (& Carolyn) to tell you 7 things about myself.

So, here goes:

1. I read the entire Twilight Saga over Christmas - Yup, I did! All 4 books! I drove to 5 different book stores on Dec. 30th trying to find the last book. It was sold out everywhere - I almost had a panic attack thinking I would have to wait to see how it all ended. I spent a good amount of time curled up on the couch (at home and at my parents) reading a teen fantasy novel about vampires and shape shifters. I haven't been that hooked on a serious since Harry Potter and before that since the Ender's Game books.

2. I hate having my feet tickled...H.A.T.E It!!!! It hurts - it doesn't not feel good - I don't like it!

3. I watch Oprah everyday at work - I do - it's true - I have a video card in my computer and so I can watch t.v. at work but generally only Oprah! However, this Tuesday, January 20th, I will be watching the inauguration all day.

4. I love my husband more today than I did when we first met - check back tomorrow to see why (wink, wink).

5. I write my most emotional posts at the same time every month - have noticed that yet! Hmmmmmm...can you say "hormone overload". As a woman, it is my right to cry and be emotional and irrational for 2-5 days a month!!!

6. Have you seen "Sex and The City: The Movie" - I daydream about the blue Manolo's she left in the closet and then Big puts on her foot at the end. I am not a fru-fru girl at all but I love those shoes - I googled them the other day...they retail for $945 US at Neiman Marcus - oy makes my heart hurt - soooo much money! Too much for this gal. Now, if only I could get a knock off pair for $39.95

7. My sister-in law (who is really more like my sister from another mother) finally got engaged on New Year's Eve and she asked me to be her maid - whoops - Matron of Honour - I am so excited for her and honoured that she asked me to stand up with her.

Now, I am to tag 7 people so here goes - Jess, Janice, Natalie, Laura, Stephanie, Breelyn, and Shelley.

Turned My Back

O.k. So I have to admit that I may have turned my back on my hope a bit. I blame myself. I am self indulgent and forgot that my problems are really minuscule compared to many people around the world. I am entitled to feel what I feel - I am NOT, however, allowed to wallow when I have a life that others would gladly trade me in a nanosecond.

I need to get out of my head and back into my body!

You should read this post - I love this gal and I have never even met her! She is a great source of inspiration to me and probably didn't even know it. Now she does! Julie, I hope one day we get to meet kidlets in tow.

Lost my Hope

I seemed to have lost my hope! I had it a while ago but it seems to have disappeared...

I keep thinking this is some kind of joke - like Ashton Kutcher is going to appear and say "Ha ha ha, you have been Punk'd" (with my luck it would probably be Howie Mandel instead -ugh!)

What does one do when approaching the 14 month mark of waiting? And that is just since our dossier landed in Ethiopia - in reality we have been waiting much longer!!! Could someone please tell me because I am running out of ideas.

I don't blame my hope for packing its bags and hitting the road - I haven't been much fun to be around lately. I would take a hike too if I could - just to get away from the torturous thoughts my brain keeps throwing out at me.

I have been trying to stay away from the computer this week - hence the lack of posts. Oh and I had the flu for the last couple of days too...ya, fun hey!

I am trying to think of ways to keep myself busy for the next couple, three weeks. Our agency rep has gone to Ethiopia this week and will hopefully be bringing back referrals. We weren't given any hope that ours would be part of the next batch. I am trying to prepare myself for the upcoming Pity Party (remember my last one) that will likely ensue as we watch families get referrals. We were told to be prepared to wait up to 18 months! There I said it! I have been avoiding it...like if I didn't say it, it might not come true. And maybe it won't, maybe it will happen sooner but since my hope has left I am having a hard time being positive. Throw in the new court procedures the Ethiopian Government just put in place and well...you get the point.

Aaaaaaah! This is the hardest thing I have ever done in my life!

So, anyways, I have lost my hope! If you find it - could you please tell it to come home.

I miss it!

Hi-Ho, Hi-Ho!!!

It's back to work we go!

Blech!!!

I am a nervous wreck! I am full of hope that our dream will come true this year but at the same time I am full of dread that it will take longer than we ever anticipated! I was feeling pretty good over the break - kept busy with family and friends.

Now, I am faced with sitting in front of a computer for 8 hours a day trying my best not to read blogs and message boards which in turn gets me all worked up again....

I can't stand it! I need ANOTHER holiday!