Thursday, May 31, 2012

House for Sale

We put our house on the market 2 weeks ago.

We spent a month packing, sorting, sanding, painting and cleaning getting our house ready to sell.

It is the first time I have sold a house I own.  Before it was always my parents worrying about a house we owned selling.  I just got to hang out waiting to pack my bedroom for the move.

It is a wholly different experience when it is your own home.  There is so. much. work. to. do.

Not to mention the emotions of it all.  This is our home.  I talked about it here and I'd rather not get into it again or tears shall rain down upon my keyboard and then I will need a new computer.

We have had quite of bit of interest.  In fact, we even had 2 offers, 4 days after the house was on the market.  We accepted one of them...only to have the deal fall apart because the couple buying the house decided to get a divorce instead.  Yup! That's right! They are getting a divorce instead. 

The one thing I learned last year when I was going through my PAD (Post Adoption Depression) was not to make any major life decisions when you are under duress...apparently this should also be a clause included in the contract when you are purchasing a house. 

Said clause should read something like this: "Dear Buyers! If you are having a mid-life crisis, marriage trouble or are just looking at our house for the fun of it...please think twice about making us an offer.  Thank you very much!"

I jest! It is awful all around.  That couple are no longer a couple.  Sad.  Our losing a sale pales in comparison to someone losing their marriage. 

So, our realtor kindly contacted the next couple who had put an offer in on our beautiful home and they said "Yes, please! We are very interested. Can we come see it again?" Of course we complied with their request and they viewed it again on Saturday.  After seeing it a second time, they have decided to move to another city in another province.

Hello???????????? Is it something in the house????

This entire process is trying. Keeping your house tidy and neat all the time because at the drop of a hat someone might call and ask to come and view the house. Packing the 3 year old and 2 Chihuahuas into the car in record time and either going to the in-laws or just driving around for an hour is somewhat stressful.

The excitement of an offer, the scrambling to make sure you get the offer just right, getting ready for a home inspection only to find out the deal is falling apart...well it sure knocks you off your feet.

This week we have more showings...2 last night, 1 tonight and 1 tomorrow night. 

It's weird knowing you can't be in your house, the house you own, because strangers are there at that very moment looking at your things, going through your drawers, looking in your closets, standing in your bedroom.

It's all bit creepy!

We know our house will sell. It will just take the right buyer.

I'm just not sure my sanity will last until that right buyer comes along.

Monday, May 28, 2012

Monsters

There has been much talk of monsters in our house lately.

It has us confounded because we aren't sure where it is coming from.

We don't let Wee Man watch scary movies or cartoons.  All of the books we read are light, fun and/or about adoption and families coming together.

So, where does the fascination with monsters come from?

We must look under the bed, behind the dresser and in the closet to make sure there are no monsters.

As we were out driving yesterday afternoon, the question of "Are there monsters over there?" was asked.

"Over where?" I asked.  "There!" he stated pointing in no particular direction.

I know this is the age where the active mind engages and things from the day are remembered and carried into dreams. 

But I honestly don't know where the monsters come from.

I remember having to sleep with the light on when I was a kid and I have clear memories of NOT being able to get out of my bed or the monsters would get me.

But where do these imagined monsters come from?

O.k. so I must confess, we have watched "Monsters Inc." but those are friendly, cute, cuddly monsters.

Uh oh, except when they are scaring kids at night....maybe that wasn't the best for him to see....

But we haven't watched that movie since wee dude first came home.  And the monster thing really just ramped up in the last month or so.

We have a night light in his room for him...ha ha...its a "L'il Monster" and we told him that he is there to watch over him at night and protect him...he seems o.k. with it.  He asks for it to be turned on every night.

But still, where does the "monster under the bed" notion come from?

Anyone have any thoughts?



Wednesday, May 23, 2012

Saturday, May 5, 2012

Things That Make You Go Awwwwwwwwww!

Wee Man has been sick the last couple of days with a low grade fever and a cold. 

Last night he was content to lay in our bed and watch "Curious George".

Sometimes, I worry about our bond with him.  He can be so defiant at times.

I know he is just asserting his independence and trying to figure the world out on his terms. 

Still, we worry...does he love us, does he need us, does he want us?

As we lay on the bed watching the movie he looked over at me and said,

"Momma, I not feel good, my tummy sick.  I lay on your chest?" 

He snuggled up on me and promptly fell asleep.

My heart swelled.

He loves us, he needs us, he wants us.

Thursday, May 3, 2012

Addendum to Today's Post

There is one habit I think should have been on the Marc and Angel's list that isn't.  So I'm going to add it myself.

It is something I have become very good at over the years...but I wish I wasn't.

I'm sure I'm not alone on this one either.

Arms Length Relationships - holding people at bay because you have been hurt in the past.  Forgetting that although someone may have hurt you, the new person standing in front of you deserves a clean slate. Relationships are hard. They take work and need to be nurtured whether it is a friendship, a partner/spouse, a family member or your children.

I have become an expert at holding people at arm's length.  I only want them to see the strong, happy me because if I show them my vulnerable side (except when I cry at the gym those people get to see THAT side of me)....maybe they won't like me very much anymore.  Having had my heart stomped on in the past by various individuals, I am very cautious about letting people in.  Sometimes I open myself up and then if I think there is even whiff of them "abandoning" me I clam up.  I turtle in my little shell and avoid them. I give a little bit of me when maybe I should just give a lot and see what happens. 

Relationships can only be as great as you let them be.  If you don't take a chance...well you might just be missing out on something special.

Note to self: take my own advice.



Marc and Angel Hack Life

I follow this blog called Marc and Angel Hack Life.

The posts always seem to be exactly what I need on the given day I read them.

Weird right?

Todays' post is - "20 Habits Holding Good People Back."

There are certainly some bad habits I have that are holding me back.

These are the ones that jumped out me immediately:

Chasing after those who don’t want to be caught. Do not chase people. Be you, do your own thing and work hard on your passions. The right people who belong in your life will eventually come to you, and stay.

Here I am completely guilty.  I chase after people.  I want to be friends with most people I meet (call it "Only Child Syndrome"). I know not everyone will want to be friends with me.  That's cool.  The people I do become friends with I hold dear to my heart (even if I don't always show it like I should).  Sometimes, I hold people close to me that I shouldn't.  People who are friends with me out of convenience or who only need me when times are tough (meaning they call me when they need to unload all of their bad things )and not so much when times are fun.  I'm learning to know when to let go and not chase after people. It isn't easy and it can be painful to let someone go. 

Not asking for help when you know you need it. – No matter how far you’ve gone down the wrong road, you can always turn back. Be STRONG enough to stand alone, SMART enough to know when you need help, and BRAVE enough to ask for it.

Can I get an Amen! How many of us don't ask for help when we need it? I bet a lot!  I know I am one.  I have gotten better at this though. In fact, I even ASKED for help packing our house up.  My mom is going to come out give me a hand! Yay Mom! 

Holding on to things you need to let go of. – Letting go doesn’t mean giving up, but rather accepting that there are things in life that should not be. Sometimes letting go is what makes us stronger, happier and more successful in the long run.

I think this ties in to "Chasing after those who don't want to be caught" but it also can be letting go of an idea about yourself - like you aren't good enough, smart enough, pretty enough, strong enough, skinny enough etc. etc.  We have all thought things like these about ourselves at one time or another.  They can be self destructive if we let them control our lives.  I am learning that I am good enough just the way I am. Imperfections and all!

It is also letting go of THINGS.  I just purged our house of years of stuff we had been hanging on to.  Things we were given as wedding gifts and had never used.  Articles of clothing we thought maybe we would one day fit again (who were we trying to kid) and items that for some reason or another we had a strange attachment to even though they were of no use or benefit to us anymore (i.e. a lava lamp).  Many things were donated because they were still good for some one to use (i.e. a lava lamp), other things were recycled and a few things thrown in the garbage because they just weren't worthy of being donated or recycled (think VHS tapes here - did you know they can't be recycled and I tried to give them to Value Village but they weren't having it).

Focusing on the negative. – Positive thinking isn’t about expecting the best thing to happen every time, it’s about accepting that whatever happens is good for this moment, and then making the best of it. So stay positive, and hold on to what’s truly important. Let your worries go. No matter how you look at it, some outcomes just don’t make sense right away. Choosing to carry on with your goals through this uncertainty is what matters.

My husband will tell you that I can be a serious Negative Nelly.  I have a bad case of "The Worries" and I tend to catastrophize things.  In my head I am know I am doing it, but my irrational self at the time it is happening always wins.  Case in point - selling our current house is stressing me out beyond belief - I think it will be CHRISTMAS before we have it touched up and looking good enough to sell.  It will probably be more like a week or so.   I try to focus on the positive...really hard....but sometimes that little devil on my shoulder knows exactly what to say to push my buttons.  This will probably always be a work in progress for me.

What is a bad habit holding you back?

Wednesday, May 2, 2012

Tuesday, May 1, 2012

A Few Precious Minutes



No, this is not an ad for our local newspaper.

This is a few precious minutes of alone time.

More often than not Wee Man wakes up before us.  He is, shall we say, our alarm clock. I can count the number of times on one hand where we have had to set our alarm since he came home.

He is an early riser - 6:30 or so.

I am a moderately early riser - 7:30 or 8.

The Husband is a sleep until noon kinda guy.

Anyways, I am getting way off track here.

The one thing I miss, at times, is my morning ritual.  Waking up, letting the dog(s) out, making a cup of tea and reading the paper consisted of my pre-parenthood routine. Alone, by myself, with no one else around. A time to gather my thoughts, clear the cobwebs out of my brain, wipe the sleep from my eyes and and just sit. (Oh and read the paper too)

My "Sharpening my Saw" time if you will - if you are unfamiliar with this term of mine, it simply refers to my recharge time - I need it and crave it for my sanity.  It is something I have always needed, this is not new by any means.

This morning I woke up at 7 and to my surprise the wee lad was still soundly sleeping. So I crept downstairs all quiet like, so as not to wake him, and made myself a cup of tea and read the paper.

Do hear that?

That, my friends, is the sound of silence!

And IT!  Well, it is delightful!

Aaaaaaah! 

It lasted 10 minutes and then I could hear the little dude crawl out of his bed and turn on his light.

The day has just begun.