Thursday, May 3, 2012

Marc and Angel Hack Life

I follow this blog called Marc and Angel Hack Life.

The posts always seem to be exactly what I need on the given day I read them.

Weird right?

Todays' post is - "20 Habits Holding Good People Back."

There are certainly some bad habits I have that are holding me back.

These are the ones that jumped out me immediately:

Chasing after those who don’t want to be caught. Do not chase people. Be you, do your own thing and work hard on your passions. The right people who belong in your life will eventually come to you, and stay.

Here I am completely guilty.  I chase after people.  I want to be friends with most people I meet (call it "Only Child Syndrome"). I know not everyone will want to be friends with me.  That's cool.  The people I do become friends with I hold dear to my heart (even if I don't always show it like I should).  Sometimes, I hold people close to me that I shouldn't.  People who are friends with me out of convenience or who only need me when times are tough (meaning they call me when they need to unload all of their bad things )and not so much when times are fun.  I'm learning to know when to let go and not chase after people. It isn't easy and it can be painful to let someone go. 

Not asking for help when you know you need it. – No matter how far you’ve gone down the wrong road, you can always turn back. Be STRONG enough to stand alone, SMART enough to know when you need help, and BRAVE enough to ask for it.

Can I get an Amen! How many of us don't ask for help when we need it? I bet a lot!  I know I am one.  I have gotten better at this though. In fact, I even ASKED for help packing our house up.  My mom is going to come out give me a hand! Yay Mom! 

Holding on to things you need to let go of. – Letting go doesn’t mean giving up, but rather accepting that there are things in life that should not be. Sometimes letting go is what makes us stronger, happier and more successful in the long run.

I think this ties in to "Chasing after those who don't want to be caught" but it also can be letting go of an idea about yourself - like you aren't good enough, smart enough, pretty enough, strong enough, skinny enough etc. etc.  We have all thought things like these about ourselves at one time or another.  They can be self destructive if we let them control our lives.  I am learning that I am good enough just the way I am. Imperfections and all!

It is also letting go of THINGS.  I just purged our house of years of stuff we had been hanging on to.  Things we were given as wedding gifts and had never used.  Articles of clothing we thought maybe we would one day fit again (who were we trying to kid) and items that for some reason or another we had a strange attachment to even though they were of no use or benefit to us anymore (i.e. a lava lamp).  Many things were donated because they were still good for some one to use (i.e. a lava lamp), other things were recycled and a few things thrown in the garbage because they just weren't worthy of being donated or recycled (think VHS tapes here - did you know they can't be recycled and I tried to give them to Value Village but they weren't having it).

Focusing on the negative. – Positive thinking isn’t about expecting the best thing to happen every time, it’s about accepting that whatever happens is good for this moment, and then making the best of it. So stay positive, and hold on to what’s truly important. Let your worries go. No matter how you look at it, some outcomes just don’t make sense right away. Choosing to carry on with your goals through this uncertainty is what matters.

My husband will tell you that I can be a serious Negative Nelly.  I have a bad case of "The Worries" and I tend to catastrophize things.  In my head I am know I am doing it, but my irrational self at the time it is happening always wins.  Case in point - selling our current house is stressing me out beyond belief - I think it will be CHRISTMAS before we have it touched up and looking good enough to sell.  It will probably be more like a week or so.   I try to focus on the positive...really hard....but sometimes that little devil on my shoulder knows exactly what to say to push my buttons.  This will probably always be a work in progress for me.

What is a bad habit holding you back?


Melissa said...

Yup, yup and yup.

My biggest road block is my tendency towards perfectionism. I so want things to go perfect or be "just right" that I miss the moment or don't say what I should. I also spend a lot of time worrying about things not going well when I should be having fun!

Dancin' Momma said...

Yikes, I am guessing this person has never had to parent a special needs child with this comment:
"Giving up who YOU are. – Remove yourself from any situation that requires you to give up any one of these three things: 1) Who you are. 2) What you stand for. 3) The goals you aspire to achieve."

I have been forced to give up so much of me for my children and I think there are many parents who are in a similar situation. Although I get this comment, on some levels it is extremely unfair. Many of us are dealt hands that require us to change who we are, our goals and what we stand for, and leaving is not possible or right.

Ranavan and Wee One said...

I see where you are coming from here Dancin' momma but I think they are referring to anyone who is not a dependent who only wants to be with you if do only the things they want you to do.

Ranavan and Wee One said...

I see where you are coming from here Dancin' momma but I think they are referring to anyone who is not a dependent who only wants to be with you if do only the things they want you to do.

andrea said...

The biggest thing I had to learn this past year was how to ask for help. I'd never really needed help before, nothing was beyond what me and my husband could manage ourselves, but this last year, at home with the boys was so much more than we could do on our own. I am so grateful for the amazing people in our lives who wouldn't let me not ask for help. A

Robynhood said...

sigh... I know that one of my biggest probles is that I have such a hard time asking for help.. I keep trying to do it all myself, even when life is hell... I always say I will get better at this and yet.. I dont... Cool post.. running over to their blog to read the rest. :)

Maple Walnut Mama said...

I was going to say what Melissa said!

Letting go is a biggie for me - I am often stuck in the hamster wheel of trying to think my way around resistance and obstacles rather than attempting to just accept the natural flow of things.

Asking for help is a tough one for me as well.

Oh & worrying in advance of something. What a waste of precious time.

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