Nope..it's not.
Contrary to popular belief or at least all the gushy blogging I have been doing lately.
It ain't all rainbows and unicorn farts.
It is much better! We are all happier.
But man, it is still hard.
I have been sick for the last week and a half. It is the first time since Ade has been home that I have been really sick (I don't count the PADS) with a cold or flu.
All I want to do is curl up on the couch under a warm, snuggly blanket and stay there until I feel better. Of course you can't do this with children in the house. Because they still need to be cared for. Who knew?!
I jest!
I knew! I just didn't realize how hard it is to drag yourself out of bed in the morning when your nose is leaking boat loads of snot and your throat is waging its own personal forest fire.
Wee one is particularly sensitive to my moods. He reacts to how I am feeling and since I have not been feeling well he has been "a handful" to say the least. He is also acting his age and it has been trying on my patience to remember that he is 2 going on 3 not 30!
In fact, last week I out two-year-olded my 2 year old. We were at our "Parenting with Music Class" and the cold was just starting to settle in and he was acting like one of the of the "Wild Things". He wouldn't sit still, ran rings around the other kids and shouted "NO!" at me the whole time. This is a class about bonding and attaching with your child through nursery rhymes...ya...not so much bonding happening on this day. Halfway through "Peas Porridge Cold" or something like that I couldn't take it anymore. After being headbutted in the chest and trying to keep him from climbing the walls, I stomped my feet, scooped him up, and ran out the door. I shoved shoes on both of our feet, grabbed our coats and hauled it out of there faster than you could say "Wait! Don't go!" He cried all the way home in the back seat yelling "singing" and I cried all the way home in the front seat while driving yelling "stop crying!" I was talking to myself!!!
Huge mommy fail!!!
We didn't go to the class this week because I just couldn't do it while still feeling sick. What makes it worse (or better you decide) is that the very nice lady who runs the class emailed me to say she understands why I left last week and that they missed us this week and won't we come back. She wants to "chat" after class and she let me know it is o.k. for kids this age to act out. They are just "testing boundaries". Um, I cried when I read that email because of course I know this but my selfish "me" forgot in that instant.
He is pushing his last molars too which we hadn't realized until yesterday and I noticed while brushing his teeth a little peek of white just through his gum that hadn't been there the day before. So, that probably explains the diarrhea in the diaper the last week. (That and he is probably fighting the cold I have).
Which leads me to my next MOMMY FAIL moment! Potty training!
I haven't a clue how to do this. I have read the books. I know I am not supposed to make a big deal about it. That he will train when he is ready!!! And I hear this all the time "How many kindergartners do you know who start school still in diapers?"
Well, I don't know any but that's not to say there aren't any!!!
What if my child is the first child EVER in the history of potty training to go to Kindergarten in a diaper!? It could happen.
I'm trying to make light of this but I can tell you I have shed many tears of worry over it. Who decided I can parent a child and teach him how to potty train!?? Because they were wrong! I can't do it! It's too hard!
O.k. I know you are all saying - "Calm down crazy lady!"
He is young I know this. He is not 3 yet. I know this too. But he was showing so much interest in the potty and was going quite regularly. Poop and pee and suddenly he won't go and won't even tell us when he has gone in his diaper.
I feel like I am the worst mother on the planet.
Again, being dramatic I know, but of all the parenting tasks in the realm of parenting this is the one I feared the most. I know I am setting myself up for failure by being this way and I don't want to be negative about it but I just feel like this is out of my scope of tasks I can complete.
I feel like I could climb Mount Everest without oxygen but don't feel like I can potty train my 2 year old.
Right! So there you have it!
Not all rainbows and unicorn farts!
12 comments:
If it makes you feel any better, both my kids showed an interest in using the toilet around two and then proceeded to refuse to have anything to do with it til nearly 3. With both of them I tried to convince, cajole, persuade, bribe and otherwise trick them into using the potty and they would simply have nothing to do with it until they were ready. When they were ready they basically just decided they were going to do it and that was that. Very few accidents, very few issues. But both my son and my daughter were nearly 3 at that time. I suspect a lot of 2 year olds find it interesting at first but then they realize how into it mom and dad seem to be and they are experimenting with the fact that they have control over some things and this is one thing they can absolutely control. No matter what we do, we can't make them pee in the potty! So try not to give yourself a hard time. He will eventually see the benefits of using the toilet. You don't even come close to being a bad mother. :)
LOL! Ok, so we all have those days, that's for sure! I remember very well the days of leaving playgroup, sweating profusely, beet red from the effort of carrying a wild toddler and assorted bags/toys...:)
ok, so toilet training, I know I am probably not the norm in this, but I have NEVER potty trained..nope, far too lazy. I confess I did try once, with my oldest, but after three pairs of panties in a row, nope, I was done. So I totally just waited, until they were ready, and they did it themselves. One was just over 3, one was 2.5, and one was almost 3. I know, I know, cost of diapers, etc, and I once in a while had a moment of worrying that others thought I was a terrible mom, but I got over that because it was so EASY and there was no laundry and they were happy and I was happy...so my opinion is, don't worry about it! He really will be ready some day, and I have heard that boys are often later than girls, so hey, that's the great thing about diapers. :) (of course, go for it if YOU want to...I am just lazy!)
darci :)
oh, lol! I forgot..when my oldest was 2 and we tried the whole potty thing, she wouldn't GO on the potty, but it made an awesome foot rest for her when she watched big comfy couch..haahaa! :) We also had a toilet seat ring thing that goes on the big potty...she figured that was a necklace!
((Hugs)) everyone has bad days, that is all part of parenting. You are a great Mom to Ade!!!! As for potty training, it will come, it will!!! Kids usually go through a good time of going then they go back, then they get it!!! I remember thinking the same thing, that my child will never be trained!!!!
Debbie
I KNOW! I KNOW! I KNOW! EXACTlY HOW YOU FEEL! Some days I honestly feel as though I am failing in absolutely everything and I am so worried I am damaging my kids!
Max started kindergarten this year and was not potty trained. Yep. He's five. We tried. Read books, Set a schedule, Made sticker charts, gave CANDY (I am still horrified we used candy as a bribe but we were desperate!) He absolutely REFUSED to sit on the toilet or the potty chair. The school met with us to let us know we needed to work on potty training at home which was even more horrifying because we felt judged by them as well as feeling guilty ourselves... and then, out of the blue - he just decided to use the toilet and now BOTH boys are potty trained! Be kind to yourself and feel better soon!
Oh I hear you!
H was on-again-off-again with potty training too. She finally chose to potty train (and I mean completely, night-time and all) shortly after her 3rd b'day - while we were on a weekend trip involving two THIRTEEN HOUR car rides. Yup. 26 hours in the car - DRY. I think she was just waiting for the perfect moment to stun us.
Whenever someone starts to brag to you about their genius child who was fully trainied at 12 months, just plug your ears and sing the national anthem.
Potty training involves about 4 days of naked toddler. Leave your kid naked, watch for signs, make note of the frequency, and have a potty and mop on standby at all times. When a pee is coming, plop 'em on a potty and when there is success, PRAISE LIKE MAD. Also, after a few puddles, kids begin to not enjoy the pee running down their legs or whatever, and connect the potty to the peeing. (Night times are still diaper times.) After about day 3 or 4 you can start to move to underwear, and do regularly scheduled potty times. And then you progress from there.
Also? Pee training comes first. Poo training takes a LOT longer.
Eventually, when you get dry diapers overnight for a week/10 days, you're done.
It's really easy if you just leave them naked. So maybe summer is better, but YMMV. For us, running around in the backyard meant less mopping, for the first day or two anyway, but by day 3 she was pretty much good with peeing in the potty and only had a couple of whoopsies after that.
Unicorn farts - ha, ha, ha!
You are not failing my friend, this is just the new way of doing life. Up, down, up, down, success, failure, success, failure. No expert out there has written the book on Ade yet so you're kinda screwed :) Don't worry you are far from alone - every mama out there is muddling through this as well.
Hope you are healthy & well soon, that will make all the difference in the world.
Sending hugs.
I can never decide if it's better or worse when you are both sick at the same time. They're so needy then, but on the other hand, more likely to collapse on the couch with you. Definitely, being sick as the mom is the worst.
As for the potty training.... I got nothin', having skipped right by that stage as you know. I will go light a candle in thankfulness for that once again. :)
I live in a world of potty training and circle time and you, mama, are experiencing the "OMG, how do I train this creature to do what I want" reality of every mom I know (who will admit it). Fortunately (or not), kids pretty much do what they can when they are ready to do it and their big people just have to wait it out and try not to panic! If he's not doing something (sitting, potty training, eating green beans), he's not ready, even if it seems like he was before . . . even if he was doing it 5 minutes ago. Growing up is hard work.
And yes, boys are very slow potty trainers - 6 to 12 months behind the girls!
We have 4 children, 2 adopted all different personalities and issues and I never even TRIED to potty train before 3. Remember when they are in underwear you will become hostage to every toilet around. The moment they are bored when you are shopping , at a restaurant, travelling... they will yell " I have to go ' and as a good parent you will have to stop everything and take them to the washroom. ENJOY the freedom diapers can bring for now. We have even put our 4 year old in diapers on a long trip in the evening so she can sleep and not worry about peeing.
As for music class you are braver than me. Our daughter came home from Ethiopia at 9 months of age and I could not even stay in a class with her when she was 21/2 years old because she was so disruptive all the time. It sounds like you just had a bad day....
You sound like you are doing a great job and i am impressed how well you seem to be doing. Starting out with a 2 year old is no easy task.
Anonymous! I love you!!! Whoever you are :) I know I need to let the potty training go. And I'm not brave just naive to think he might one day sit still....all the other 2 year olds do. Sigh!
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