Contrary to popular belief or at least all the gushy blogging I have been doing lately.
It ain't all rainbows and unicorn farts.
It is much better! We are all happier.
But man, it is still hard.
I have been sick for the last week and a half. It is the first time since Ade has been home that I have been really sick (I don't count the PADS) with a cold or flu.
All I want to do is curl up on the couch under a warm, snuggly blanket and stay there until I feel better. Of course you can't do this with children in the house. Because they still need to be cared for. Who knew?!
I knew! I just didn't realize how hard it is to drag yourself out of bed in the morning when your nose is leaking boat loads of snot and your throat is waging its own personal forest fire.
Wee one is particularly sensitive to my moods. He reacts to how I am feeling and since I have not been feeling well he has been "a handful" to say the least. He is also acting his age and it has been trying on my patience to remember that he is 2 going on 3 not 30!
In fact, last week I out two-year-olded my 2 year old. We were at our "Parenting with Music Class" and the cold was just starting to settle in and he was acting like one of the of the "Wild Things". He wouldn't sit still, ran rings around the other kids and shouted "NO!" at me the whole time. This is a class about bonding and attaching with your child through nursery rhymes...ya...not so much bonding happening on this day. Halfway through "Peas Porridge Cold" or something like that I couldn't take it anymore. After being headbutted in the chest and trying to keep him from climbing the walls, I stomped my feet, scooped him up, and ran out the door. I shoved shoes on both of our feet, grabbed our coats and hauled it out of there faster than you could say "Wait! Don't go!" He cried all the way home in the back seat yelling "singing" and I cried all the way home in the front seat while driving yelling "stop crying!" I was talking to myself!!!
Huge mommy fail!!!
We didn't go to the class this week because I just couldn't do it while still feeling sick. What makes it worse (or better you decide) is that the very nice lady who runs the class emailed me to say she understands why I left last week and that they missed us this week and won't we come back. She wants to "chat" after class and she let me know it is o.k. for kids this age to act out. They are just "testing boundaries". Um, I cried when I read that email because of course I know this but my selfish "me" forgot in that instant.
He is pushing his last molars too which we hadn't realized until yesterday and I noticed while brushing his teeth a little peek of white just through his gum that hadn't been there the day before. So, that probably explains the diarrhea in the diaper the last week. (That and he is probably fighting the cold I have).
Which leads me to my next MOMMY FAIL moment! Potty training!
I haven't a clue how to do this. I have read the books. I know I am not supposed to make a big deal about it. That he will train when he is ready!!! And I hear this all the time "How many kindergartners do you know who start school still in diapers?"
Well, I don't know any but that's not to say there aren't any!!!
What if my child is the first child EVER in the history of potty training to go to Kindergarten in a diaper!? It could happen.
I'm trying to make light of this but I can tell you I have shed many tears of worry over it. Who decided I can parent a child and teach him how to potty train!?? Because they were wrong! I can't do it! It's too hard!
O.k. I know you are all saying - "Calm down crazy lady!"
He is young I know this. He is not 3 yet. I know this too. But he was showing so much interest in the potty and was going quite regularly. Poop and pee and suddenly he won't go and won't even tell us when he has gone in his diaper.
I feel like I am the worst mother on the planet.
Again, being dramatic I know, but of all the parenting tasks in the realm of parenting this is the one I feared the most. I know I am setting myself up for failure by being this way and I don't want to be negative about it but I just feel like this is out of my scope of tasks I can complete.
I feel like I could climb Mount Everest without oxygen but don't feel like I can potty train my 2 year old.
Right! So there you have it!
Not all rainbows and unicorn farts!