Monday, August 8, 2011

The Blog Conundrum

I have been having a hard time with my blog lately.

So, I closed it to see if I missed it.

I didn't really.

I missed you! But I didn't miss the blog.

There are a few reasons.

Motivation to actually write plays a big factor.

Summer chaos is another.

People not commenting or reading is also coming into play.

Feeling like I want to tell the truth about life but feeling like I should sugar-coat it...I don't know why that is.

Folks reading and then feeling they know what is happening in my life so not calling anymore (for shame).

Being tired of social media and how it is supposed to bring people closer together but in actual fact it makes us all lonelier and stuck inside our houses attached to our computers.

So what should I do?

Give me your feedback! I value your opinions! (if your still reading)


emily said...

I completely know how you feel! I could've written this post word for word! It's hard. I have no advice. I've tried to be more real but I still struggle and I lack motivation big time too.
I did miss you though and I always love your updates....

tafel said...

hey, quit reading my mind there.


I'm with you. And with all that time you've freed up you could, say, drive out here and visit.

no? eh, it was worth a shot.

Dianne said...

So hearing you, Rana. I write when I want, and don't write when I don't want. Currently, am enjoying more outdoor summertime than I have in years. Maybe I'l write about it when the snow comes. :)

But I'll have you know that when you write, I always read! Even though I suck with the commenting. :P

Joy said...

Still reading, and appreciating anything you do choose to write about. I always find it sad to see folks considering closing their blogs, particularly those I have followed along with during our own adoption wait and transition...but I respect that there can come a time when new factors or other priorities take more precedence. Of course, being a very inconsistent blogger myself (and with no commitment to one topic, although I started blogging our adoption journey), I still support the idea of blogging when the mood strikes, without pressure to keep it up consistently.

Robynhood said...

I would be really sad if you closed your blog. I have been reading it for over 2 years. Every post! Following your story. We have the same referral day, and I love watching your tiny boy grow, and reading about your life as a family of 3. I would love if you kept going, even if you take a break. I am so looking forward to finally meeting you in person next week.. big hugs to you, and thank you for sharing your life with us, your cyber audience :) Robyn

Shannon said...

While I think it's true that the more you write, the more you want to write (generally), I also think blogging inspiration kind of waxes and wanes. I've had up and down times with my blog and the last year has been a lot harder for me to find the time and motivation to write, but I"m not ready to let it go yet. I don't know if I ever will be. I hope to eventually write more on there again. There's nothing wrong with taking a break and reevaluating in a week/month/year or whatever. You just have to be prepared for a drop in readership if that's what happens. You're in my google reader so I'll see it, whenever you do write. I would miss you if you stopped writing!

hazel said...

I hear you, Rana. Summer makes it especially hard to blog when you're too busy living in the moment. I find any spare time I have I use cleaning up or sleeping. I hope you keep writing whenever you can. I love to follow along when I get a chance to read. For me, I just spent an hour posting pics to FB and emailing some private ones to family. There's not time after that for blogging - so consider yourself VERY SPECIAL that I read this post AND posted a comment ;-)

Love to you.

Kendra said...

Well I noticed when your blog disappeared!

I know what you mean by not knowing how much to share or just not feeling like writing much - my blog has been very quiet lately. I sometimes feel like just closing it too but I have 'met' some great people I don't think I would have if I didn't have it and find it a great source of support sometimes.

I hope you continue as I love hearing about little Ade and keep those little tidbits of info from your journey in the back of my mind as they may be useful someday if there is a little person in my house.

The Gaboury's said...

Love this!!! You are so totally true/dead on!!!! You do feel the need to sugar coat things. I sure have to!!!! I would be REALLY sad if you decided to close your blog!! I have followed your journey ever since you got your referral!!!

Claudia said...

I've got you in my google reader, so I'll still be here even if you don't post very often!

I want to say 'don't go' - and I am saying that! But if you aren't loving it... life is busy enough, right! But I'd be really, really sad to see you go :(

CinnamonOpus said...

We missed you.

In summer, readership just generally goes down. So it's okay if you take a break from time to time. I do. (after 6 years, I'm getting to the point where I'm okay with that. But it has taken some time.)

And as for motivation... well, you have to write about what you want, when you want. If that's why you do it, I mean. If not -- if you are doing it for your readers -- then you have to decide if it's worth your time and energy and what you get out of it. It's okay if you decide it's just getting to be too much. In the end, if it's not enjoyable or rewarding for you to do, don't do it.

Chad, Laura, Sara and Seth said...

Oh, I know I know I know what you mean. Perfectly said! I've found that I am slowly moving away from my blog (and others) blog and doing more FB and emails... not sure why, just seems the way it is going for me.

Regardless of what you decide, I'll still keep in touch - we have MUCH in common and would never want to lose touch!


Anonymous said...

Hey Rana, I always like checking in on your blog. I speak for all the creapers and busy mama's out here that don't comment very often, don't stop or feel the need to sugar coat, be real when you feel like it! Helps us all feel like we are normal with the ups and downs!!!

Shannon Simms

Angela Sandau said...

Rana, I definitely missed your blog. It has helped me feel less alone in some of the feelings you have after you come home. There was one post in particular where you spoke of how you felt and that it had nothing to do with Ade and you didn't want people to think your feelings were a reflection of him. I understand the need/want to sugar coat your feelings but I certainly have appreciated the honesty (or at least the amount of honesty you felt comfortable sharing) of your posts. It's hard to find time to blog these days and it's also hard when you feel like people aren't reading. You have to do what makes you happiest but just wanted to say if you stopped blogging, I'd miss your posts.

hotflawedmama said...

I can't quit you! :)

no but seriously, talk openly! don't sugarcoat it. i think people relate to that more. and we love you. :)

Jennifer said...

I have read your blog for soooo many years now-HAHAHA!!--I truly love your blog and if you keep writing, of course I'll keep reading. Sorry that I'm not that great at commenting a lot of the time. Of course I want to hear the truth--it's kinda nice sometimes. I don't have Job home yet so I'm still in la-la land about how it's going to be like, but when I read blogs that are truthful it brings it to reality for me-Which I do actually like!
I do understand that sometimes you just don't know what to write, and the time commitment that it must take. I will keep following your blog, but if you do shut er down, I'm glad we are still FB friends!--I enjoy looking at Ade's cute little pucker smiles :)

John and Alicia said...

I would miss your blog! But I can't judge. I don't have a blog. I can't even get a blog started. I can't even write a FB status...

Hope you keep blogging :)


andrea said...

I am definitely guilty of visiting and not always commenting... especially since we came home with the boys. In the beginning I was exhausted, then overwhelmed and never feeling like I had anything helpful or productive to say... in that vein... I totally get where you're coming from. You do whatever feels right for you and regardless of your decision, I know we'll always find ways to keep in touch... hugs, A

Sarah said...

I understand the conundrum but I would really miss your blog if you stopped writing! Yours was one of the first I started reading regularly when we were thinking of adopting and it is still one of my favourites because you have such a wonderful "voice" That being said, do what you think is best, but writing just once in awhile is okay. I will still be here reading :)

Lani said...

I would be totally crushed if you stopped writing. I am a blog stalker, rarely ever comment but have been following your families story for a long time. I don't think you should sugar coat anything you are going through. And if you don't feel like writing post pictures, you could always just include little captions. It is a great way to document time with your son. I just feel like there are not enough Canadian families writing about their adoption experiences. I hope you will continue with your blogging. I understand it is summer and everyone is busy, I hope in the fall you will have more time and feel more motivated. I would truly miss your updates, especially now that your son is home.

Melissa said...

Don't go Rana!

Just kidding (sort of). I would miss your blog if you left. But . . . I do think that blogging (or whatever you do in life, really) has to be motivating in some way to keep you going and if blogging is not motivating, then why do it?

Having said that, blogging can also be whatever you want it to be. It doesn't have to be about serious adoption stuff or "reality" (whatever that is). It can be a place to vent or just a place to display photos of a cute little boy and to list all the silly things he says. Or about it can be about cute shoes or green gum drops.

Regardless, I'll be here reading, if you are writing!

BCMommy said...

:( I missed you!!!

Sniff sniff.

I don't have ANYTHING exciting to write about, so I am just as bad for not posting often, but I do love reading about families that are home and that dreams do actually come true.


Carey said...

Hi Rana,

I am guilty of not commenting on your blog, but I love it too. I am also guilty of not having a blog of my own........I have a million excuses for that...

Anyway I love your blog the good the bad and the ugly. This is real life and well makes me feel better to know I am not the only one having one of those days. Also I would hate to lose touch with you but yes reading your blog does not eliminate the need for personal email or a phone call, so will follow this up with a call before the end of SUmmer.

I had a panic when your blog was gone, so have to say how happy I was to hear from you.

Take Care

Carolyn said...

I have also written this post when I was unsure about continuing my blog. It is hard to keep going sometimes but at other times I want to post a lot. i LOVE your blog. I admire your ability to write so well and to be honest about your thoughts and feelings. Don't stop!!!! I would miss you! post when you want to about whatever you want to! It is your blog and you can say what you want!


Julie said...

I love your blog. I have loved you for a lot longer than you have been blogging though - so although I would be terribly sad if you decided to stop blogging - even if you DO decide to stop I promise one day I will start picking up the phone!

Anonymous said...

I am just back from holidays and catching up on your blog! Thank-you for being so honest in your blog and actually writing about your real emotions and experiences. Reading blogs about perfect people who are perfectly happy is perfectly depressing!!! I start to wonder what is wrong with me and my family as we are not perfect and not always happy! So thanks again for telling it like it is.


Julie said...

Yay, so glad you will continue blogging. I heart you and your blog!