This last week had its up and downs for sure.
The biggest thing for me has been overcoming the sleep deprivation.
I like to sleep!
Need at least 8 hours of the stuff. (With no interruptions please and thank you)
I probably haven't had a good amount of restful, uninterrupted sleep since...hmmmmm..honestly I don't know when. There was so much happening in the last few months before we brought Ade home (not to mention the entire past year) that sleep was a precious commodity for me.
The days before we left for Ethiopia were busy getting last minute preparations ready. Honestly you would think after all the time we spent waiting we would be ready. But you would be wrong.
By the time we got into the car to go to the airport I was exhausted and emotional....cried all the way to the airport and through the security line-up. When we got to Toronto we thought we had lots of time between connections but soon found out in order to get our Visa for Dubai we had much running around and question asking to do. We weren't even sure until about 10 minutes before we boarded our flights we would be able to enter Dubai..so this left me in a restless state for the next 13 hours on the flight.
Then we landed in Ethiopia and the adrenaline took over....you are finally there. In the country where your son lives...hours from meeting the little boy whose photo you have been looking at for the last 18 months.
Right, without getting into Ethiopia (because that is a different post) sleep was not something that was going to come now for sure.
Every night going to sleep you think, what do I do if something happens to him in the night? I better check to make sure he is breathing? Was that noise he just made him choking? And so the sleep deprivation sets in deeper.
Coming home the jet lag is a killer. I know this of jet lag. Have experienced it many times but until you experience it with a kidlet it is something else. I mean if I have to sit up all night because I am on a different time zone so be it. Doing that whilst chasing a toddler is not so fun. We turned our time around fairly quickly...he did not.
So sleep deprivation had its hooks into me like Freddy Kruger's claws in someone in one of those horror flicks.
The first couple of weeks home I fought through the sleep deprivation because "This is what a mom does!" I was always on edge about putting him down for his nap because "Will he go down o.k.? Will he sleep for 2 hours?" "Will I be able to get the much needed house work done?"
The nights were even worse because he was still going down with a bottle at the time because of his schedule from the foster home and getting up 2 or 3 times a night to look for the bottle or to have a diaper change.
Then it was trying to plan a day full of activities to keep a toddler busy. This is not easy because he has quadruple the energy I do and in actual fact the one getting played out was me.
Then I got a cold....a bad cold that kept me up all night coughing.
Add this to the ever-growing debt in my sleep bank.
Finally, my body just said enough!
I can't take anymore...you have been redlining for too long. I will stop you. I will shut you down.
I can do it...just watch me.
My getting sick...it was the tip of the iceberg....like the first hit the Titanic took...it was just the beginning of the sinking.