Last week Ade and I went to the park with Yvan's brother for an afternoon.
While we were playing and running around a lady walking a dog approached us.
"How cute are you?" She said to Ade.
"Your just so cute that's what!". She continued.
We are used to this. We get it a lot!
Random strangers telling us how cute our wee son is.
And he is cute! Killer cute! Melt your heart cute!
Lock up your daughters cute! (I know he is only 2 but let me tell you he loves the ladies!)
The woman continued. "Is he adopted?"
"Yes he is." I politely replied.
Then this woman I have never met said to me:
"Does he have a mom and dad?"
Never in my life have I had to contain myself from going off on an all out tangent on someone.
"Yes, he does." I said through clenched teeth. "My husband and I are his mom and dad."
Then she kept on, "Oh, well you know what I mean! Where are his REAL parents? What happened to him?"
"Hmmmmmm", I thought to myself...."I don't know what you mean actually and why don't you just shove it your #$%!"
But instead I said, "I'm sorry we don't share his story with strangers."
I'm not trying to be rude, I'm just trying to educate myself!" She retorted.
"WELL I'M EDUCATING YOU RIGHT NOW ON WHAT YOU SHOULDN'T ASK PEOPLE YOU HAVE NEVER MET IN THE PARK WHILE WALKING YOUR DOG!" Is what I screamed inside my head.
Instead I said, "He doesn't know his story yet and so until he knows his past we aren't sharing with people. It will be his decision when he is old enough about what, if anything is shared."
She back offed a bit and tried to tell me some story about her brother's friend's niece's child who was adopted but I wasn't buying it.
I wished her a nice day and we continued on playing. It was the first time someone was so "in your face" about it.
Let the games begin!
19 comments:
Yikes, doesn't it suck when people do that? I dread what is going to happen when our wee ones are old enough to understand or worse get questioned when we are not there to help them. I get asked all the time if my boys are brothers, and my oldest is definitely old enough to understand. So stupid of people.
aaaahhh, Rana. We have been home less than 2 weeks and we have already got some crazy questions! I am really going to have to get better prepared because mostly I just stand there with my jaw dropped open wondering how someone can have the guts to ask such personal information about someone else's life. Much to talk about when we finally get together!
Laura
Oh man! "Where are his parents?" - "ummm. I just told you that we adopted him, so obviously I am his mom. His dad is at work...duh!" People are so strange! Sounds like you handled it just fine.
Good answers!!!
Wowza, can't believe what some people have the nerve to say!
Gah!!!! Humanity makes me crazy sometimes.
Well, I guess she did become more educated, right? She learned that you put your family's privacy ahead of her desire to pry, ahem, I mean, educate herself.
AAARRRGGG!!!! I hate it when complete strangers think it is alright to comment and ask very personal information about our kids. You had a great answer, I can never think that quick. I am always caught off guard.
Debbie
You, madam, have more good grace than I would have done, confronted with that much stupid all in one person!
::applause, applause::
Um, educate herself? On what, exactly?
You did good!
Not that my opinion matters, but I think you kept a really cool head and educated that person very well. And since all she was trying to was "educate" herself, she should feel very satisfied with your answers! ;)
oh wow. I really have no words for such... 'educate herself' what???? wow. Way to respond Rana! You are one awesome mama! :D
Yup, sooner or later these type of comments alway rear their ugly head. I've had some comments about "his real parents" too, but often from young children. I never quite know how to respond to kids on this topic in such a way that they'll get it. It seems to always go over their head.
I can't believe how people think it's their right to know all about a person's personal history.
"Educate myself" ... that's a new one!
I hate assholes. Seriously. You handled it with way more grace than I usually do. I am always shocked despite getting those questions over and over again. I just want to kick people in the head sometimes though I'm not sure they would be able to consider themselves better educated post-kick. What do you think?
You did handle that with grace..not sure I could have! What a piece of work she was....hmm, yeah, just trying to educate myself...no, just being ignorant and rude!
Sadly it is only the beginning of stupid questions and comments. Sara has been with us for almost 7 years and it still shocks me with what people think they have the right to ask - and I predict that I can multiply all of it by more than two when my sweet boy is home...
You did good! Usually I just stand and blubber and think, seriously, wtf lady?
You did great! But get ready, there are a lot of uneducated people out there...
Crazy. This really happens in 2011?
You did really well.. I always feel like tell them to get away from me but I know I have a tiny person watching and listening. My standard comment is why do you want to know and it usually makes them completely back off.. I cannot believe that people think that we are going to share the life story of our child with them. Good job for keeping your cool..
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