Thanksgiving has been amazing!
We have had family here for a week. My Mama, cousin and uncle. The week was busy and super fun!
Sunday night we had 15 of my family members over for a traditional turkey dinner and it was delightful.
It was fun to have my mom here and share in the preparation and cooking of our delicious meal.
The best part was that Ade was here for it all. There was a childrens' table and he was sitting at it. There was much running, jumping, shouting and general silliness and he was right in there keeping up with the other kids.
It was so hectic around here that I didn't even have time to grab my camera and take a single photo. (I am very disappointed with myself for this) but here is what it looked like:
The baby in his high chair with a bib, dropping his bottle and plate every so often.
The toddlers at the kids table eating, bouncing,giggling and not listening to a word they are told.
The pre-teen bouncing around the room and the teenager on her phone texting her boyfriend and friends.
The adults sitting around the dinner table drinking wine and beer and laughing at the chaos happening around us.
Sigh!
We have so much to be thankful for!
Our health.
Our home.
Food on the table.
Good friends.
Loving family.
Ade.
Happy Thanksgiving!
Showing posts with label family happens in different ways. Show all posts
Showing posts with label family happens in different ways. Show all posts
Monday, October 10, 2011
Monday, July 18, 2011
"Adoption? What does Adoption Mean?"
Said the teenage girl to me as wee one and I waited to board our flight.
Her head tilted to one side with a quizzical look on her face.
Back up a few moments to where this conversation began.
Ade and I had been in Vancouver to visit my mom, family and some friends.
We were sitting in the boarding lounge waiting for pre-boarding to begin for our flight home.
I noticed a young, teenaged girl watching us and smiling.
Eventually she made her way over to us and stood right beside me.
I'm talking Jerry Seinfeld "Close Talker" close.
Ade was sitting on my lap facing me and I was swinging him backwards over my legs so he was looking upside down at the floor. A game he loves.
As I would swing him up, she would try to touch his head.
I would swing him back down to avoid her touching him.
Finally, I just held him close to me and sort of turned away so she couldn't touch him.
She left.
5 minutes later...she came back.
Curiosity got the better of her I guess.
She kept saying "He's so cute!" over and over again.
She touched his hair and whispered "So curly."
Finally she got up the nerve to talk to me.
"Where is his mom?" she asked.
"I'm his mom." I said.
"Where is his dad?", she quizzed further.
Quietly I said, "His dad is at home." guessing where this was going.
"Is his dad African?", she pressed.
"No, he isn't." I said as nicely as I could.
Insert the weirdest look someone has ever given me. In retrospect, I think she was trying to comprehend how 2 Caucasian people could have a Black child.
"Where is he from?" she kept on.
"Ethiopia." I answered.
"How come you have him?" she boldly asked.
At this point there are a group of people close enough to hear our conversation. She is a young girl. I don't want to be rude to her. But now all the prickly ears listening are making me feel like we are in a microscope being carefully inspected.
"We adopted him." I proudly answered. "Where are you from?" I queried her back.
"China.", she pauses for a moment. "Adoption? What is adoption?"
Her question dumbfounded me. For a couple of reasons.
1. She's from China. Which has one of the largest adoption programs in the world. And she doesn't know what adoption means.
I have been to China and it only took me a moment to factor in that the government wouldn't be broadcasting it to the public.
2. I didn't know how to answer her. That's right. I was stumped. I know what adoption means but how do you explain to someone on the spot like that. Someone whose English was good but not good enough to understand fully what I was saying.
So I said, " Adoption is where a child is born to someone but raised by someone else."
"This means he is our son." I said.
She didn't seem to understand or want to push further. It might also be that we were called to board our flight or her mother finally called her over. I can't remember.
What out conversation left me with was a question unanswered.
What does adoption mean? Because I think this is what bugs me when people ask me if our son is adopted and we tell them yes and then they ask where his parents are.
It bugs me because I just told you he is adopted which means we are his parents.
Merriam-Webster's say it is "the act or process of adopting someone or something: such as a : the act or process of adopting a child."
That sounds cold and calculated. Unfeeling and without love or joy attached to its meaning.
And no where in there does it talk about parenting.
To me......
Adoption means love!
And parenting.
It means sad times mixed in with good times.
Hardships and uncertainty.
Dreams finally come true.
Giggles and guffaws!!
Diaper changes, midnight soothing of a nightmare, eating breakfast before 8.
Delightment when a task that has eluded is accomplished like stacking blocks, riding a trike or the brushing of teeth.
Adoption is growth. From 2 people to 3, inches on the wall, shoe sizes doubled and finally being able to reach the kitchen counter top for whatever goodies await.
Knees scraped and owies kissed and great, big family hugs to end the day.
To me adoption encompasses all these things and so much more....
To me adoption means....
Family!
One Papa, one mama, one wee one!
Her head tilted to one side with a quizzical look on her face.
Back up a few moments to where this conversation began.
Ade and I had been in Vancouver to visit my mom, family and some friends.
We were sitting in the boarding lounge waiting for pre-boarding to begin for our flight home.
I noticed a young, teenaged girl watching us and smiling.
Eventually she made her way over to us and stood right beside me.
I'm talking Jerry Seinfeld "Close Talker" close.
Ade was sitting on my lap facing me and I was swinging him backwards over my legs so he was looking upside down at the floor. A game he loves.
As I would swing him up, she would try to touch his head.
I would swing him back down to avoid her touching him.
Finally, I just held him close to me and sort of turned away so she couldn't touch him.
She left.
5 minutes later...she came back.
Curiosity got the better of her I guess.
She kept saying "He's so cute!" over and over again.
She touched his hair and whispered "So curly."
Finally she got up the nerve to talk to me.
"Where is his mom?" she asked.
"I'm his mom." I said.
"Where is his dad?", she quizzed further.
Quietly I said, "His dad is at home." guessing where this was going.
"Is his dad African?", she pressed.
"No, he isn't." I said as nicely as I could.
Insert the weirdest look someone has ever given me. In retrospect, I think she was trying to comprehend how 2 Caucasian people could have a Black child.
"Where is he from?" she kept on.
"Ethiopia." I answered.
"How come you have him?" she boldly asked.
At this point there are a group of people close enough to hear our conversation. She is a young girl. I don't want to be rude to her. But now all the prickly ears listening are making me feel like we are in a microscope being carefully inspected.
"We adopted him." I proudly answered. "Where are you from?" I queried her back.
"China.", she pauses for a moment. "Adoption? What is adoption?"
Her question dumbfounded me. For a couple of reasons.
1. She's from China. Which has one of the largest adoption programs in the world. And she doesn't know what adoption means.
I have been to China and it only took me a moment to factor in that the government wouldn't be broadcasting it to the public.
2. I didn't know how to answer her. That's right. I was stumped. I know what adoption means but how do you explain to someone on the spot like that. Someone whose English was good but not good enough to understand fully what I was saying.
So I said, " Adoption is where a child is born to someone but raised by someone else."
"This means he is our son." I said.
She didn't seem to understand or want to push further. It might also be that we were called to board our flight or her mother finally called her over. I can't remember.
What out conversation left me with was a question unanswered.
What does adoption mean? Because I think this is what bugs me when people ask me if our son is adopted and we tell them yes and then they ask where his parents are.
It bugs me because I just told you he is adopted which means we are his parents.
Merriam-Webster's say it is "the act or process of adopting someone or something: such as a : the act or process of adopting a child."
That sounds cold and calculated. Unfeeling and without love or joy attached to its meaning.
And no where in there does it talk about parenting.
To me......
Adoption means love!
And parenting.
It means sad times mixed in with good times.
Hardships and uncertainty.
Dreams finally come true.
Giggles and guffaws!!
Diaper changes, midnight soothing of a nightmare, eating breakfast before 8.
Delightment when a task that has eluded is accomplished like stacking blocks, riding a trike or the brushing of teeth.
Adoption is growth. From 2 people to 3, inches on the wall, shoe sizes doubled and finally being able to reach the kitchen counter top for whatever goodies await.
Knees scraped and owies kissed and great, big family hugs to end the day.
To me adoption encompasses all these things and so much more....
To me adoption means....
Family!
One Papa, one mama, one wee one!
Monday, May 30, 2011
Really??? Did You JUST Ask Me That?????
Last week Ade and I went to the park with Yvan's brother for an afternoon.
While we were playing and running around a lady walking a dog approached us.
"How cute are you?" She said to Ade.
"Your just so cute that's what!". She continued.
We are used to this. We get it a lot!
Random strangers telling us how cute our wee son is.
And he is cute! Killer cute! Melt your heart cute!
Lock up your daughters cute! (I know he is only 2 but let me tell you he loves the ladies!)
The woman continued. "Is he adopted?"
"Yes he is." I politely replied.
Then this woman I have never met said to me:
"Does he have a mom and dad?"
Never in my life have I had to contain myself from going off on an all out tangent on someone.
"Yes, he does." I said through clenched teeth. "My husband and I are his mom and dad."
Then she kept on, "Oh, well you know what I mean! Where are his REAL parents? What happened to him?"
"Hmmmmmm", I thought to myself...."I don't know what you mean actually and why don't you just shove it your #$%!"
But instead I said, "I'm sorry we don't share his story with strangers."
I'm not trying to be rude, I'm just trying to educate myself!" She retorted.
"WELL I'M EDUCATING YOU RIGHT NOW ON WHAT YOU SHOULDN'T ASK PEOPLE YOU HAVE NEVER MET IN THE PARK WHILE WALKING YOUR DOG!" Is what I screamed inside my head.
Instead I said, "He doesn't know his story yet and so until he knows his past we aren't sharing with people. It will be his decision when he is old enough about what, if anything is shared."
She back offed a bit and tried to tell me some story about her brother's friend's niece's child who was adopted but I wasn't buying it.
I wished her a nice day and we continued on playing. It was the first time someone was so "in your face" about it.
Let the games begin!
While we were playing and running around a lady walking a dog approached us.
"How cute are you?" She said to Ade.
"Your just so cute that's what!". She continued.
We are used to this. We get it a lot!
Random strangers telling us how cute our wee son is.
And he is cute! Killer cute! Melt your heart cute!
Lock up your daughters cute! (I know he is only 2 but let me tell you he loves the ladies!)
The woman continued. "Is he adopted?"
"Yes he is." I politely replied.
Then this woman I have never met said to me:
"Does he have a mom and dad?"
Never in my life have I had to contain myself from going off on an all out tangent on someone.
"Yes, he does." I said through clenched teeth. "My husband and I are his mom and dad."
Then she kept on, "Oh, well you know what I mean! Where are his REAL parents? What happened to him?"
"Hmmmmmm", I thought to myself...."I don't know what you mean actually and why don't you just shove it your #$%!"
But instead I said, "I'm sorry we don't share his story with strangers."
I'm not trying to be rude, I'm just trying to educate myself!" She retorted.
"WELL I'M EDUCATING YOU RIGHT NOW ON WHAT YOU SHOULDN'T ASK PEOPLE YOU HAVE NEVER MET IN THE PARK WHILE WALKING YOUR DOG!" Is what I screamed inside my head.
Instead I said, "He doesn't know his story yet and so until he knows his past we aren't sharing with people. It will be his decision when he is old enough about what, if anything is shared."
She back offed a bit and tried to tell me some story about her brother's friend's niece's child who was adopted but I wasn't buying it.
I wished her a nice day and we continued on playing. It was the first time someone was so "in your face" about it.
Let the games begin!
Tuesday, April 5, 2011
On the Flip Side
As a family, we get lots of looks. Whether it is all 3 of us out together or Yvan out with wee one alone or me...we get looks.
Yvan has noticed them from the moment we got home. I didn't as much because of the haze I was in but I certainly do now. And even after I came out of the haze I just think I didn't pay attention to it. Until recently where I have been noticing the looks more.
We both noticed it in Ethiopia. Mainly because our hearts were breaking each day as we thought of the day we would fly home and Ade would be leaving his homeland. It literally was the hardest thing to wrap our heads around. One day, when I am ready, I will tell the story of leaving the transition home with him but for now that must remained tucked in my heart.
Many Ethiopians greeted Ade with hugs and kisses! They love their children over there. They are not afraid to give affection to any little ones they see. It is certainly is a "village raising a child" instinct and so wonderful to experience.
There were times people told us how wonderful it was we were adopting him and taking him to Canada. We both hadn't a clue what to say! How do you say to someone who is so happy for him and outright showing it how wrong they are. We are the ones who feel lucky. Lucky to have this wee little dude in our life bringing a whole new energy and perspective.
On the flip side, we also encountered people who clearly did not agree with adoption. It was never said with words. A look can be very powerful and body language says what a million words never could. We completely understood their reaction. It would not be easy watching future generations leave the country to go elsewhere raised by families who do not know the culture of their birth country. We could have told them how we will teach our son about his country and to be proud of his heritage. We wanted to tell them we will make trips back as much as we can so he can see where he started his young life but we didn't. It wouldn't have come across the way we wanted it too. We can only hope we don't let them or him down on this front.
Now we are home and starting to mesh as a family. I think the more comfortable we feel with him the more it shows outwardly to the world. This in turns makes people who don't know us feel they can talk freely to us. (I think people were scared to approach me the first month we were home because of the panic in my eyes that said "I have a kid and he is 2 and I don't know anything about parenting at 2 year old so stay out of my way".)
I believe most people are curious which is natural. We have been lucky in that no one has been outright disrespectful or rude to us but I am sure we will one day encounter an awkward situation or too. As Nicky so eloquently writes there are definitely things to say and things NOT to say to an adoptive family.
This is an example of what not to say:
Sunday afternoon we bundled the wee one up and headed out for a stroll around the neighbourhood to get out of the house for a bit. There is a charming little coffee shop just a few blocks a way and since the wind was chilly we decided to head their for a coffee/tea/snack break. As soon as we entered the shop we got a whole bunch of "Awww look at him, he is sooooo cute" remarks. We get this a lot. But for the most part people kept their distance.
One lady however, wanted to chat with us. She opened up the conversation with "We have friends who went over and got a little one from Africa." We asked where in Africa they had adopted but she didn't remember. She "oooh'd and awwwww'd" over wee one for a bit. As we were getting ready to leave she said to me "My daughter is trying to get pregnant and if they can't they are going to go get one". I said "You mean adopt a child?" And she said, "Yes, they will go over and get one".
After we left the coffee shop I told Yvan what the woman had said to me and we both conversed about how it was silly to think her daughter would "just go over and get one". I could have told her how long the wait can be. How much scrutiny you go through not to mention the mountains of paperwork needed. I should have shared our story about how it took 18 months to bring our son home after waiting 20 months for his referral. If we were feeling snarky we could have said "They don't have booths on the side of the road where you can stop and pick up a child." Which is where my mind went first when made her comment.
I didn't do any of these things.
Partly because I didn't feel like starting a debate or an argument in the coffee shop. We were having a lovely time out and I didn't want to ruin it by trying to teach a lesson to a well-intentioned but uneducated woman I didn't know from a hole in the ground.
Partly because I am sure she was going to tell her daughter she met a family who "got" their child from Africa and how she had told us about her. I can almost see her daughter's face as she told her she had told complete strangers they have been trying to have a baby and were considering "going to get a child" if they didn't get pregnant. Complete mortification I am sure.
And partly because I didn't have the time but had I the time I might have bought her a tea and sat her down.
On the flip side, we were out of town Saturday to visit Yvan's grandma, Ade's great-grandma. We went for lunch and while we were there a table of women behind us commented on Ade and how cute he was. Most everyone notices his eyelashes, which are envied by women everywhere we go!
One of the ladies looked at me and said "Aren't you lucky!"
It took me a moment to respond because this is not what most people say. Usually people comment about how lucky he is to have us for parents, a chance at a good life, yada, yada, but she got it!
She 100% got it!
She followed up this remark with "So many families would like to adopt and it is so hard these days. You are so lucky!"
She is right! We are lucky to have him and we know it!
Yvan has noticed them from the moment we got home. I didn't as much because of the haze I was in but I certainly do now. And even after I came out of the haze I just think I didn't pay attention to it. Until recently where I have been noticing the looks more.
We both noticed it in Ethiopia. Mainly because our hearts were breaking each day as we thought of the day we would fly home and Ade would be leaving his homeland. It literally was the hardest thing to wrap our heads around. One day, when I am ready, I will tell the story of leaving the transition home with him but for now that must remained tucked in my heart.
Many Ethiopians greeted Ade with hugs and kisses! They love their children over there. They are not afraid to give affection to any little ones they see. It is certainly is a "village raising a child" instinct and so wonderful to experience.
There were times people told us how wonderful it was we were adopting him and taking him to Canada. We both hadn't a clue what to say! How do you say to someone who is so happy for him and outright showing it how wrong they are. We are the ones who feel lucky. Lucky to have this wee little dude in our life bringing a whole new energy and perspective.
On the flip side, we also encountered people who clearly did not agree with adoption. It was never said with words. A look can be very powerful and body language says what a million words never could. We completely understood their reaction. It would not be easy watching future generations leave the country to go elsewhere raised by families who do not know the culture of their birth country. We could have told them how we will teach our son about his country and to be proud of his heritage. We wanted to tell them we will make trips back as much as we can so he can see where he started his young life but we didn't. It wouldn't have come across the way we wanted it too. We can only hope we don't let them or him down on this front.
Now we are home and starting to mesh as a family. I think the more comfortable we feel with him the more it shows outwardly to the world. This in turns makes people who don't know us feel they can talk freely to us. (I think people were scared to approach me the first month we were home because of the panic in my eyes that said "I have a kid and he is 2 and I don't know anything about parenting at 2 year old so stay out of my way".)
I believe most people are curious which is natural. We have been lucky in that no one has been outright disrespectful or rude to us but I am sure we will one day encounter an awkward situation or too. As Nicky so eloquently writes there are definitely things to say and things NOT to say to an adoptive family.
This is an example of what not to say:
Sunday afternoon we bundled the wee one up and headed out for a stroll around the neighbourhood to get out of the house for a bit. There is a charming little coffee shop just a few blocks a way and since the wind was chilly we decided to head their for a coffee/tea/snack break. As soon as we entered the shop we got a whole bunch of "Awww look at him, he is sooooo cute" remarks. We get this a lot. But for the most part people kept their distance.
One lady however, wanted to chat with us. She opened up the conversation with "We have friends who went over and got a little one from Africa." We asked where in Africa they had adopted but she didn't remember. She "oooh'd and awwwww'd" over wee one for a bit. As we were getting ready to leave she said to me "My daughter is trying to get pregnant and if they can't they are going to go get one". I said "You mean adopt a child?" And she said, "Yes, they will go over and get one".
After we left the coffee shop I told Yvan what the woman had said to me and we both conversed about how it was silly to think her daughter would "just go over and get one". I could have told her how long the wait can be. How much scrutiny you go through not to mention the mountains of paperwork needed. I should have shared our story about how it took 18 months to bring our son home after waiting 20 months for his referral. If we were feeling snarky we could have said "They don't have booths on the side of the road where you can stop and pick up a child." Which is where my mind went first when made her comment.
I didn't do any of these things.
Partly because I didn't feel like starting a debate or an argument in the coffee shop. We were having a lovely time out and I didn't want to ruin it by trying to teach a lesson to a well-intentioned but uneducated woman I didn't know from a hole in the ground.
Partly because I am sure she was going to tell her daughter she met a family who "got" their child from Africa and how she had told us about her. I can almost see her daughter's face as she told her she had told complete strangers they have been trying to have a baby and were considering "going to get a child" if they didn't get pregnant. Complete mortification I am sure.
And partly because I didn't have the time but had I the time I might have bought her a tea and sat her down.
On the flip side, we were out of town Saturday to visit Yvan's grandma, Ade's great-grandma. We went for lunch and while we were there a table of women behind us commented on Ade and how cute he was. Most everyone notices his eyelashes, which are envied by women everywhere we go!
One of the ladies looked at me and said "Aren't you lucky!"
It took me a moment to respond because this is not what most people say. Usually people comment about how lucky he is to have us for parents, a chance at a good life, yada, yada, but she got it!
She 100% got it!
She followed up this remark with "So many families would like to adopt and it is so hard these days. You are so lucky!"
She is right! We are lucky to have him and we know it!
Wednesday, October 8, 2008
Adoption Cures Infertility???
Right, so since we got on the roller coaster ride of emotions called International Adoption we have had a lot of comments.
For the most part, the comments have been positive. Friends and family are supportive and for that we are very thankful!
However, we still get the occasional comment that - well - just makes a girl (and a boy) wanna cry!
It is no secret that we have decided to build our family thru adoption because of "unexplained" infertility. Basically this means that after HSG testing, Laparoscopic surgery, fertility drugs etc. we have not been able to conceive a biological child and there is no medical reason as to why we can't . It just didn't happen! It was hard to understand - the gynecologist said "well, we just don't know why, sometimes we can tell from the testing but everything looks normal and seems to be operating as it should." We looked at each other dumbfounded because this is not what we expected to hear.
So, there it is! We did lots of soul searching and after sitting in the gyno office for fertility treatments and ultrasounds one too many times with extremely pregnant women surrounding me and always leaving the appointments in tears we decided to look at other ways to have a family. We made the conscious decision not to pursue IVF because it wasn't right for us.
After careful consideration and much research we decided to take the route of international adoption because that is where our hearts led us. We are happy with our decision even though at times it has been a wee bit emotional. We made peace with the fact that we will not have biological children but that we would and could still have children and a family of our own.
There are the odd occurrences when we tell people about our adoption and we get answers such as these:
1. "What an honourable thing you are doing."
2. "That child will be so lucky"
3. "You better watch out, now that you are adopting you going to get pregnant"
4. "I have friends who as soon as they decided to adopt they got pregnant and then didn't have to adopt anymore."
I have to bite my tongue lots of times. I know that people don't understand that adoption was our choice. They don't understand that we could have decided that if we can't have biological kids we won't have any kids.
It is not a decision we came to lightly one night over beer and wings. We dug deep into our hearts and asked a lot of questions, the answer that came back to us time and time again was - we want a family, period. It was not how our family was built that mattered to us - what mattered to us was that we had wee ones running around our home, filling the house with laughter, tears, spit up, poop, toys and the patter of little feet.
1. We do not feel we are being honourable by adopting a child - we feel we will be honoured by our unknown child's presence in our lives.
2. We are the lucky ones!
3. At this point we don't want to get pregnant - we are 'pregnant' - 10 months, 3 weeks, 3 days worth of pregnant and believe me my ankles are swollen - I should be on bed rest at this point.
4. I can't even answer this one - I just walk away - this is not a game to us - we didn't decide to adopt because it might be the trick that gets us pregnant. We are committed to our wee boy or girl in E and are taking precautions just in case.
Adoption is not a way to cure infertility. Adoption is a way to create a family.
For the most part, the comments have been positive. Friends and family are supportive and for that we are very thankful!
However, we still get the occasional comment that - well - just makes a girl (and a boy) wanna cry!
It is no secret that we have decided to build our family thru adoption because of "unexplained" infertility. Basically this means that after HSG testing, Laparoscopic surgery, fertility drugs etc. we have not been able to conceive a biological child and there is no medical reason as to why we can't . It just didn't happen! It was hard to understand - the gynecologist said "well, we just don't know why, sometimes we can tell from the testing but everything looks normal and seems to be operating as it should." We looked at each other dumbfounded because this is not what we expected to hear.
So, there it is! We did lots of soul searching and after sitting in the gyno office for fertility treatments and ultrasounds one too many times with extremely pregnant women surrounding me and always leaving the appointments in tears we decided to look at other ways to have a family. We made the conscious decision not to pursue IVF because it wasn't right for us.
After careful consideration and much research we decided to take the route of international adoption because that is where our hearts led us. We are happy with our decision even though at times it has been a wee bit emotional. We made peace with the fact that we will not have biological children but that we would and could still have children and a family of our own.
There are the odd occurrences when we tell people about our adoption and we get answers such as these:
1. "What an honourable thing you are doing."
2. "That child will be so lucky"
3. "You better watch out, now that you are adopting you going to get pregnant"
4. "I have friends who as soon as they decided to adopt they got pregnant and then didn't have to adopt anymore."
I have to bite my tongue lots of times. I know that people don't understand that adoption was our choice. They don't understand that we could have decided that if we can't have biological kids we won't have any kids.
It is not a decision we came to lightly one night over beer and wings. We dug deep into our hearts and asked a lot of questions, the answer that came back to us time and time again was - we want a family, period. It was not how our family was built that mattered to us - what mattered to us was that we had wee ones running around our home, filling the house with laughter, tears, spit up, poop, toys and the patter of little feet.
1. We do not feel we are being honourable by adopting a child - we feel we will be honoured by our unknown child's presence in our lives.
2. We are the lucky ones!
3. At this point we don't want to get pregnant - we are 'pregnant' - 10 months, 3 weeks, 3 days worth of pregnant and believe me my ankles are swollen - I should be on bed rest at this point.
4. I can't even answer this one - I just walk away - this is not a game to us - we didn't decide to adopt because it might be the trick that gets us pregnant. We are committed to our wee boy or girl in E and are taking precautions just in case.
Adoption is not a way to cure infertility. Adoption is a way to create a family.
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