Inflight Entertainment or Ade's First Christmas?

I could regale you with stories from our 13 hours in the air enroute to Dubai but I'm not that mean. I would hate to bore you with 13 hours of nothingness.

I won't bother telling you that Yvan slept almost the whole flight and I spent the entire time fighting off the hand of the guy sitting on the other side of me. I won't mention that he tried to grab my ass pretty much the entire flight and covered it up by pretending to be asleep. There will be no stories about how said guy never spoke a word to us unless Yvan got up and went to the washroom. Then the "ass-grabber" told me all about himself and how if I liked he would give me his number and he could show me around Dubai while we were there. Not sure how that would have worked since MY HUSBAND would have been there too.

Anyways, instead of telling you THAT story....I will show you pictures of Ade's first Christmas with us instead.

It is a much happier story!!! I will title the story.....

THE BEST CHRISTMAS EVER!!!!

Christmas Morning - having our oatmeal.

Coffee on the couch with Daddy. He still doesn't understand the presents under the tree are for him so he isn't even interested in them....YET!

Opening his stocking.

Ooooooh! What's in here?

There's more?????

Brunch with Yvan's family (missing his sis and her hubs - they joined us later)

Post present opening disaster area!

Playing choo-choo trains

Helping Grandpa open his gift :)

Riding his new car!

It Takes 3 Flights to Get to Ethiopia

And Janaury 10th, 2011 at 3:15p.m. we boarded the first of those 3 flights on our way to Ethiopia and to our son, Ade.

One year ago we embarked on the greatest journey of lives to date.

If you recall we received our long-awaited, much-anticipated, highly-stressed-over Visa for Ade on December 28th, 2010. I woke up to an email from a friend who was in Addis Ababa and had been with our representative over their when she picked up our visa. She knew the CAFAC office was closed for the holiday season and she didn't want us to wait one more day to find out Ade was finally ours to go and get.

I screamed when I opened the email and read the words, "I'm thrilled to tell you this, - ADE'S VISA IS IN!!!!!!!" .

I yelled to Yvan and my mom that Ade's visa was in and then started to weep! All the worry, waiting and wondering came rushing out in one swoop as I cried and cried and cried! Yvan and my mom encircled me with their arms and we all cried together.

The next 2 weeks were spent finishing up packing Ade's bags and getting our bags packed as well. List were checked and re-checked. Calls were made, work was organized and soon it was time to leave.

But wait! What about flights you ask? Well, Yvan and I had taken a leap of faith before Christmas and had booked flights on December 23rd. Something told both of us we it was time to go to Ethiopia and not leave Ade waiting any longer. So, flights, well, they had already been waiting for us!

January 10th, 2010 was a Monday. We had most of our bags packed with just a few last minute things left to go in. We had a couple of things to run and get and one might think we were unorganized but this was probably just to keep us from sitting and pacing at home until it was time go.

We were both so nervous and emotional. We knew life as we knew it was about to change big time. As we zipped up our bags and hauled them all downstairs to the back door, I started to cry. It was here. The time had come. We were going to Ethiopia. Going to meet our son. Become a family.

Yvan gave me a big hug and told me to take a deep breath. It was all going to be o.k.

As we waited for Yvan's dad to pick us up, we talked about our past life together and how the future was going to change. We imagined what it was going to be like to see Ade for the first time and how he and we would feel in that moment.

I cried all the way to the airport. The rest of Yvan's family met us at the airport to see us off. I cried the whole time. I cried all the way through security and while we waited to board. It must have been the last 18 months of stress and waiting working itself out. It was also excitement, fear, happiness, uncertainty and so much more.

I settled down as the plane took off and we relaxed back into our seats and held hands.

When we landed in Toronto we made our across the airport to the International area of the terminal for our flight to Dubai. We had booked to fly on Emirates airline through the UAE with a one night stay over in Dubai. Just weeks before we travelled, the UAE had put a new Visa rule in place for Canadian citizens but luckily since we were travelling with Emirates they would sponsor us.

However, we had not been told how to pick up our visa, hotel voucher and food vouchers for our stay in Dubai. (Emirates pays for your hotel and food when you are on a layover.) The first boarding agent wasn't very helpful at all and told us she couldn't help us and we would have to go back outside of security to the front desk to collect our papers. Boarding had just been announced and I panicked thinking we were going to miss our flight. Yvan managed to talk to someone else who was kind enough to radio and have someone bring our documents to the gate.

Whew!

We boarded the A380 (which holds 500 people, has a first class with suites, and business class with flat-beds and an economy class with the night sky on the ceiling!) It is absolutely the biggest airplane either of us have ever been on. Yvan and I marvelled at the smoothness and quietness of it as we took-off into the night sky.

13 hours later.....we landed in Dubai.

A Must Read Post

Nope, not mine!

Claudia is at it again.

Getting all smart in her writing!

One day when I grow up I want to write half this well.

But seriously! If you haven't already read it (which I am sure most of you have) than you please go do so now.

Part one is here.

Part One and Half is here.

7 months

We have been home with Ade 7 months today!

I cannot tell you how different this day is from our first weeks home.

It was all so overwhelming and so much more difficult than I ever anticipated.

With hard work, lots of tears, and tons of "We can get through this." on Yvan's part, we are doing so much better.

I feel like we are truly starting to bond as a family!

Our homecoming from Ethiopia had started on such a positive note. We had enjoyed our time with Ade in Ethiopia so much! Never in our minds did either of us think it would be so difficult to transition to our life back in Canada to a life that included Ade.

But it was.

It got better. Slowly.

People told us "the first 6 weeks are the hardest!" and they were.

The next mile marker was 3 months. Still very hard but better.

6 months hit! Major regression.

All on my part. Our 6 month anniversary fell one day after our 2 year referral anniversary.

It was hard for my brain to comprehend we had only been home with Ade for 6 months when we had first seen his wee little face 2 years before.

He was 6 months old when we got his referral. I think knowing this and the fact he had only been home for 6 months triggered some repressed grief and anger in me.

For a long time people asked me how I felt about the fact it took so long (18 months) to get Ade home. I would say it was extremely hard but that I wasn't going to let that be our memory. I took all of the pain and anger I had and hid it. Pretended it hadn't bothered me or that I wasn't angry with the circumstances and sometimes the people who had been a part of our lengthy process. I said "it is what is?" a lot.

But I was angry. Hurt and saddened for all the lost time we had with Ade. Had he come home "when he was supposed to" he might have been a year old. But life doesn't always happen "the way it is supposed to", nope not all.

I had to admit that I had wanted him when he was younger. Bonding would have been so much easier. He wouldn't be a running, jumping, bouncing, never-staying-still 2 year old who would have like to cuddle more. Or maybe he wouldn't have.

At 6 months home, I grieved for all the time we had lost with him. I grieved for the 6 month old baby I first saw on our referral day.

I let out all the anger and blame for delays I had.

It wasn't pretty.

But it needed to come out!

Then I looked at where we are now. The reality of Ade being 2.5 years old and only with us for such short amount of time. Took a deep breath and said "O.k. this is where we are! Stop living in the past and get on with it!"

Today, this morning, as I sat and had my tea and watched Ade playing with his trucks I realized the daily anxiety of "What have we done?" was gone.

In its place was routine. A Comfortableness I hadn't felt before.

Now, don't get me wrong. There are still days that are hard. Days where there are tears on all our parts.

I have come to the realization that a family is a lifetime in the making. No matter how your family came to be.

We will always be a work in progress.

Maple Walnut Mama

I remember when I first started my blog almost 4 years the welcome I got from some of my blogger friends. Since then I have met so many wonderful people because of my blog.

I want to introduce my friend, Maple Walnut Mama, who just started up her own blog.

Her family was built through adoption as well. They adopted domestically which is just as emotional and hairy as international adoption.

We met sometime ago and then she moved away. It wasn't until after she moved that we started to get to know each other.

She read my blog and we emailed.

They got their referral for Lovebug almost 2 years ago and she continued to send notes of encouragement and support throughout our lengthy process to bring Ade home.

When we were in Vancouver last week, we had the chance to reunite and see our two kidlets finally playing together!

I am thankful for her friendship!

She had always mentioned how she would like to blog but wasn't sure she was ready to share all of her emotions with The Internets.

She didn't think she should "blubber, bawl or snot all over people."

Well, this is something I have been doing since the beginning! As have so many of us here in blogger-adoption land.

So, welcome to the blubbering, bawling and snotting all over people club.

It continues even now that the kidlet is home except now it is because of loss of sleep or tantrums.

I look forward to reading your posts about the good, bad, fun, and very busy times of parenthood!

Please go and give her a nice big "Welcome to the block!"

To Eat or Not To Eat

That is the question.

Well, really it should be "Will he eat or won't he eat?".

I'm sure you remember when I mentioned Ade's voracious appetite when we brought him home 4 months ago. It was as if he had never seen where food came from in his whole life. And in truth, it is likely he hadn't.

I will expand on that statement with this.

What we think looking back over our time in Ethiopia is that for the children in the foster home food just appeared. They weren't involved in the purchasing, preparation, cooking and plating of the food they ate. And how could they be? There were something like 60 kids in the home. Insanity would ensue if they tried. Not to mention how many kids came from having no food at all before the foster home.

When we finally took custody of Ade, we used the little kitchenette outside of our hotel room to make meals. One of us would stay in the room with Ade while the other went and got breakfast, lunch etc ready. We ordered in food quite a bit from the surrounding local restaurants. On occasion we go out to eat in a restaurant. So, when Ade would eat a meal the food just came to him.

As we settled in at home, it became clear to him the big black thing with handles had food in it. He could also see the fresh fruit on the counter. Something primal in him triggered. I think( in my opinion) it was the "I haven't been getting what I need in terms of amounts of food or kinds and now it is available to me whenever I want/need it."

I think the worry of food not being there again or not having enough to eat caused him to constantly want it. Who could blame the little guy! If you have constantly had to fight for food for fend off those trying to take your food, once you know it is readily at your disposal you will want it all the time. Even if you aren't hungry. You just want to have it in case it isn't there again.

It was hard to watch him standing at the fridge crying. The first weeks home he would be at the door with his hand up trying to open the fridge and sobbing. It broke our hearts and frazzled us a bit too. We knew it was something that could happen but to actually see it for yourself is something else. We couldn't communicate to him the food would always be there. We just had to get in a routine of showing him inside of the fridge and telling him there would always be food and he didn't need to worry.

The need to be satiated all the time with food has slowly passed. He is confident the food will be there. He doesn't freak out or melt down if we don't get breakfast made in 30 seconds. We can tell him and show him the food is being cooked and will be ready soon and he understands it.

I can honestly say watching him cry for food has been one of the hardest things to see in all of my life. It was the desperation and fear which was so difficult to witness.

But now the toddler aversion to food has kicked in. He feels so comfortable the food will be there he has become uber picky! The "Toddler Handbooks" I have all say this is normal. It is even evolutionary we have been told. A Darwian lesson of the strongest will survive, if you will. I.E. he only eats what he thinks is safe and won't poison him. Weird hey!

"Don't take it personally" they say. Or as Yvan likes to say "Let it go". It's not that I am taking it personally it is just so damn hard to think of new meals to cook when Ade's taste is like a moving target.

One day he likes baked beans. The next he turns his nose up to very same beans he couldn't shovel fast enough into his mouth. Don't get me started on meat. As long as it is stew like or in a sauce we are good to go. But if you were just to put little chunks of chicken or hamburger or fish on his plate he avoid it like the plague.

Fruit, some veggies, oatmeal, crackers and muffins are all good! He will eat those no problem. So he gets lots of those.

He used to love scrambled eggs. Made them for breakfast this morning and you would have thought I had served him a steaming plate of pooh the way he swiveled his head vigorously saying "NO!". So, I did what I have always said I wouldn't do.

I put ketchup on the eggs. He ate them. All!

Sigh......

He used to eat red peppers and hummus with me. Now he prefers Beefaroni! More like Barfaroni! I would make scrambled eggs with spinach and avocado for us and he would gulp it all down and ask for more. Those days are long gone.

I didn't want to be the mom who gives her kid processed food from a can for lunch. I can feel all the moms of the world "tsk, tsking" me!

I want my son to know I love him and care for him which is why I just may "take it personally" or can't "let it go". I know love isn't shown with food. I am trying, I think, to instill positive eating habits in him. I think about it all day long, by the end of the week I am so frustrated not to mention tired, because I just can't think of another thing to make for supper.

I guess I best just let Darwin's theory play out for a while and hope he doesn't grow up to be on Freaky Eaters eating nothing but potatoes and cheese or corn starch! I know, I know...quit watching those kinds of shows.

Creative meal making is hard.

I wouldn't trade the days of watching him cry in desperation but I do long for the times we sat at the island sharing hummus.

Really??? Did You JUST Ask Me That?????

Last week Ade and I went to the park with Yvan's brother for an afternoon.

While we were playing and running around a lady walking a dog approached us.

"How cute are you?" She said to Ade.

"Your just so cute that's what!". She continued.

We are used to this. We get it a lot!

Random strangers telling us how cute our wee son is.

And he is cute! Killer cute! Melt your heart cute!

Lock up your daughters cute! (I know he is only 2 but let me tell you he loves the ladies!)

The woman continued. "Is he adopted?"

"Yes he is." I politely replied.

Then this woman I have never met said to me:

"Does he have a mom and dad?"

Never in my life have I had to contain myself from going off on an all out tangent on someone.

"Yes, he does." I said through clenched teeth. "My husband and I are his mom and dad."

Then she kept on, "Oh, well you know what I mean! Where are his REAL parents? What happened to him?"

"Hmmmmmm", I thought to myself...."I don't know what you mean actually and why don't you just shove it your #$%!"

But instead I said, "I'm sorry we don't share his story with strangers."

I'm not trying to be rude, I'm just trying to educate myself!" She retorted.

"WELL I'M EDUCATING YOU RIGHT NOW ON WHAT YOU SHOULDN'T ASK PEOPLE YOU HAVE NEVER MET IN THE PARK WHILE WALKING YOUR DOG!" Is what I screamed inside my head.

Instead I said, "He doesn't know his story yet and so until he knows his past we aren't sharing with people. It will be his decision when he is old enough about what, if anything is shared."

She back offed a bit and tried to tell me some story about her brother's friend's niece's child who was adopted but I wasn't buying it.

I wished her a nice day and we continued on playing. It was the first time someone was so "in your face" about it.

Let the games begin!

Adoption Magazine and NandiKids Giveaway

Alright!

So a pretty fabulous gal who lives in the province next to me started an Adoption Magazine for those folks who have adopted, are in the process of adopting, thinking about adopting or even know someone who is adopting/adopted and wants to better understand what adoption is all about for us Crazy Canucks who live in Canada.

Adoption Magazine

They are doing a giveaway for Nandikids products right now over at the magazine so hop on over and take a peek.

Here's the great thing about this magazine - I didn't know about these hair care products until today.

See. Informative.

Also, they post articles by families who have adopted from all over Canada both internationally and domestically. I always enjoy reading the well written and thought provoking stories. It certainly helps families feel like they aren't in this alone and have a great resource to turn to when needed.

And they even asked if they could post two of my blabblings on their site as well.

Who can believe it!

So go check it out!

On the Flip Side

As a family, we get lots of looks. Whether it is all 3 of us out together or Yvan out with wee one alone or me...we get looks.

Yvan has noticed them from the moment we got home. I didn't as much because of the haze I was in but I certainly do now. And even after I came out of the haze I just think I didn't pay attention to it. Until recently where I have been noticing the looks more.

We both noticed it in Ethiopia. Mainly because our hearts were breaking each day as we thought of the day we would fly home and Ade would be leaving his homeland. It literally was the hardest thing to wrap our heads around. One day, when I am ready, I will tell the story of leaving the transition home with him but for now that must remained tucked in my heart.

Many Ethiopians greeted Ade with hugs and kisses! They love their children over there. They are not afraid to give affection to any little ones they see. It is certainly is a "village raising a child" instinct and so wonderful to experience.

There were times people told us how wonderful it was we were adopting him and taking him to Canada. We both hadn't a clue what to say! How do you say to someone who is so happy for him and outright showing it how wrong they are. We are the ones who feel lucky. Lucky to have this wee little dude in our life bringing a whole new energy and perspective.

On the flip side, we also encountered people who clearly did not agree with adoption. It was never said with words. A look can be very powerful and body language says what a million words never could. We completely understood their reaction. It would not be easy watching future generations leave the country to go elsewhere raised by families who do not know the culture of their birth country. We could have told them how we will teach our son about his country and to be proud of his heritage. We wanted to tell them we will make trips back as much as we can so he can see where he started his young life but we didn't. It wouldn't have come across the way we wanted it too. We can only hope we don't let them or him down on this front.

Now we are home and starting to mesh as a family. I think the more comfortable we feel with him the more it shows outwardly to the world. This in turns makes people who don't know us feel they can talk freely to us. (I think people were scared to approach me the first month we were home because of the panic in my eyes that said "I have a kid and he is 2 and I don't know anything about parenting at 2 year old so stay out of my way".)

I believe most people are curious which is natural. We have been lucky in that no one has been outright disrespectful or rude to us but I am sure we will one day encounter an awkward situation or too. As Nicky so eloquently writes there are definitely things to say and things NOT to say to an adoptive family.

This is an example of what not to say:

Sunday afternoon we bundled the wee one up and headed out for a stroll around the neighbourhood to get out of the house for a bit. There is a charming little coffee shop just a few blocks a way and since the wind was chilly we decided to head their for a coffee/tea/snack break. As soon as we entered the shop we got a whole bunch of "Awww look at him, he is sooooo cute" remarks. We get this a lot. But for the most part people kept their distance.

One lady however, wanted to chat with us. She opened up the conversation with "We have friends who went over and got a little one from Africa." We asked where in Africa they had adopted but she didn't remember. She "oooh'd and awwwww'd" over wee one for a bit. As we were getting ready to leave she said to me "My daughter is trying to get pregnant and if they can't they are going to go get one". I said "You mean adopt a child?" And she said, "Yes, they will go over and get one".

After we left the coffee shop I told Yvan what the woman had said to me and we both conversed about how it was silly to think her daughter would "just go over and get one". I could have told her how long the wait can be. How much scrutiny you go through not to mention the mountains of paperwork needed. I should have shared our story about how it took 18 months to bring our son home after waiting 20 months for his referral. If we were feeling snarky we could have said "They don't have booths on the side of the road where you can stop and pick up a child." Which is where my mind went first when made her comment.

I didn't do any of these things.

Partly because I didn't feel like starting a debate or an argument in the coffee shop. We were having a lovely time out and I didn't want to ruin it by trying to teach a lesson to a well-intentioned but uneducated woman I didn't know from a hole in the ground.

Partly because I am sure she was going to tell her daughter she met a family who "got" their child from Africa and how she had told us about her. I can almost see her daughter's face as she told her she had told complete strangers they have been trying to have a baby and were considering "going to get a child" if they didn't get pregnant. Complete mortification I am sure.

And partly because I didn't have the time but had I the time I might have bought her a tea and sat her down.

On the flip side, we were out of town Saturday to visit Yvan's grandma, Ade's great-grandma. We went for lunch and while we were there a table of women behind us commented on Ade and how cute he was. Most everyone notices his eyelashes, which are envied by women everywhere we go!

One of the ladies looked at me and said "Aren't you lucky!"

It took me a moment to respond because this is not what most people say. Usually people comment about how lucky he is to have us for parents, a chance at a good life, yada, yada, but she got it!

She 100% got it!

She followed up this remark with "So many families would like to adopt and it is so hard these days. You are so lucky!"

She is right! We are lucky to have him and we know it!

Because I Couldn't Say it Half as Well

I read this post today.

She says it very well...better then I ever could.

For my waiting friends with court dates, referrals and waiting to be matched with their future children, know we are thinking of you.

The Room

People have been asking to see our wee boy's room.

I've been waiting to post pictures because I didn't want to do it until we were absolutely certain we were bringing him home.

We are sure now.

The color is called "Raw Steel" by Cloverdale - because some have asked...

The Map of Africa with the cut out of Ethiopia I got from Peel Monkey

The animals of Africa I got from Etsy

The most excellent wall hanging with Ade's name on it is a gift from my very good friend Krista! She made it for us!

We had so much fun doing his room - we didn't want to go overboard because in the future we want him to decide how we wants his room to look but for now Mom and Dad get to be the designers.

Houston....

....WE HAVE A VISA!!!!

A VISA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

It's official!

The Visa is in the house!!!!!!!

We can go and get him!!!!

He is ours and we are his!

Forever!!!!!!

WE HAVE A VISA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ok, we are VerKlempt!

Talk amongst yourselves :)

The Pit in my Stomach...

...is big and gaping.

It is slowly eating away at my insides.

I think it is made worse by the fact Christmas is almost upon us and once again we will not have our wee one home with us.

We have been incredibly busy at work the last couple of weeks which has helped keep me distracted...until today.

I glanced at the calendar and realized Christmas eve is next Friday! Which means Christmas is the next day....

The holiday season seems empty to me this year. I am glad my mom is coming for a visit but the pressure of running here and there to visit all kinds of extended family and friends we haven't seen in a long time is starting to cause me to become bloated with emotions.

I can't (nor do I want to) face the onslaught of questions people will have for us.

Q - Still no baby?
A- Nope, still no baby and now he is a toddler.

Q - Why is it taking so long?
A- Your guess is as good as mine - I could answer this honestly but watching people's eyes glaze over as we tell them how the last 17 months have gone is almost more painful then all the questions.

Q - Why do you keep waiting? Aren't there other options?
A- We keep waiting because he is our son.

Q - Why don't you go to Africa and be with him.
A- We would love to but after all we have been through since we got his referral we are so scared something else could come up...we want to be in Africa with him. Trust me we do! (There are reasons we can't and we don't feel the need to justify them to anyone)

Q - How do you do it?
A - I don't know anymore - we just do.

Statement - surely it will happen soon...hang in there.
Me (thinking to myself) - Soon. SOON! Yes, surely it will happen soon! Good grief! It has been 17 months...THAT IS NOT SOON!
Me (actually saying) - yes surely it will happen soon - sigh!

I would much rather climb into bed until all this Christmas hubabaloo is done...or have a long hot shower until we get the call the visa is in.

Anything other than face Christmas without Ade. Again!

Mondays Are Always The Hardest

Mondays are always the hardest.

It is the start of a new week.

A new week of waiting...wondering...worrying.

Anxiety is always highest on Mondays as you anticipate what the week will bring. Will be it good news or bad? Will we hear anything at all?

Tuesdays you think "o.k. Monday is over news should have been gained and today it might be delivered to those of us waiting".

Wednesday is certainly the day you will hear something...everyone knows Wednesday is the day of news. Right?

Thursday your hope is waning. Oh I guess there won't be anything this week....but wait, there is always Friday!

Friday comes and goes. Either you have had the news you are waiting on or you haven't but either way you know the weekend is upon you and have 2 beautiful days where your brain can rest from all the fretting and wondering and checking of phones and emails.

Mondays though....they are always the hardest!

Sigh of Relief

That is what we let out yesterday.

A giant, audible sigh of relief.

As well as a few tears too.

He is healthy!!!!!

All is good....no further testing required.

Only clarification was needed and the medical will be sent back to Nairobi next week!!!

I can tell you we are happy. Cautious....but happy!!

Pretty, please with chocolate and wine on top, we need all the positive VISA, VISA, VISA energy we can get if you would be so kind as to send some out to the universe.

If A Tree Falls in the Forest....

...does anyone hear it?

Maybe more so than what we are hearing.

Still nothing.

No clue what the test is/was.

Medical appointment was yesterday but still nothing.

So we don't know it if is a little something or a big something!

On the MP side of things, they seem to be more "understanding" should we say.

We have a meeting with him....so we'll shall see soon enough what unfolds.

Honestly, I do not have one shred of sanity left...

Not one!

I hope no one of importance reading this blog judges me based on that little nugget of information I have shared.

I feel I have earned the right to say my sanity is gone.....yours would be too.

This is all so redonkulous!

That's right, I said it -REDONKULOUS!

The Sound of Silence

That is what we are hearing....the sound of silence.

We know Nairobi has requested further medical testing or clarification (take your pick) but they won't tell us what...and we have asked..believe me we have asked.

If you look up vague in the dictionary you will see a picture of CHC Nairobi!

We have asked our MP to help us - to say he is unwilling is an understatement! I am still scratching my head trying to figure out how an elected official dismisses one of its constituents at the drop of a hat.

All we want to know is what test they are doing. It's not to much to ask.

Our agency doesn't get to see the medical instructions but we are hopeful the immigration doctor will tell them what is needed sometime this week or early next when they take our boy for his appointment.

We are fearful it is a sputum testing which takes 8 weeks to get results....8 weeks! If this is the case it will be sometime in 2011 before we get to bring him home....a fact which has me absolutely losing my mind...

I have been asking a lot of Why? questions lately.

Why is this happening to him?

Why is this happening to us?

Why does no one seem to want to help us get answers? (and by this I mean our government officials)

Why, after all we have been through, does there seem to be more shit being dumped on us?

Many scenarios have crossed our mind as to what we can do, but until we know what test they want we can't implement any plan of action.

If anyone has any ideas as to what we can do, we'll take them.

The Thing is...

....just when we think...

We. can. not. take. another. step.

You, and by that I mean, every single person who reads our blog....

...show your immense love and support!!!

Amazing!!!! It leaves us standing in awe...literally.

So, this week, we are feeling better.

We don't know what extra testing they want done or why.

We are asking lots of questions.

We are reading lots of immigration mumbo jumbo.

We waiting for answers.

I can tell you the Hague Convention is not the most stimulating read...but read it I am...

Also, could CIC make their documents any more difficult to understand - "R117(1)(g)(iii)(B) and R117(3)(e) blah, blah, blah!"

Maybe I will become a consultant on all things adoption and immigration when all this done...or maybe not!

So, we thank you!

For listening.

For offering to write, email, call...

...we might take you up on that offer....

We'll keep you posted.

Working Breakfast

Sometimes you need to take care of work first thing in the morning - especially when you own your business...so this morning we made it a working breakfast! Side by side the two of us working away whilst eating some tasty eats - that's an avocado, spinach, and tomato omelet in case you were wondering

So romantic!

Yesterday was a really hard day..thank you all for listening.

I realized later in the day I had miscalculated and said we had been waiting 16 months...in fact it has been 15 months...still way too long!

For those of you not in the know (I had a couple people ask), we received our referral July 28,2009...beginning of January 2010 we were told they could not get all the paperwork needed and weren't sure it would come. (This was not because of the Oromia region)

Eventually it did come 2 .5 months later and we moved on to the next part getting a court date. Just as we got to the court date all the new changes in Ethiopia started to take effect. One was that all dossiers over 2 years old would need an update....of course we were affected by this so our first court date was postponed by a month. The other was a new 2 trip court date rule was put in....we just made it through that one and didn't have to worry about travelling twice.

June 2 we legally became Ade's parents.

It took 2 months to get the docs ready to send to Nairobi and July 23 everything left for Kenya.

We thought the medical had already arrived and been completed because we were told it was...then we found out mid-August it wasn't even in yet...you can imagine what I thought about that.

It arrived Aug 23 and our wee son was taken for his first exam.

We received an email a day later saying he had the exam and the medical was on the way back to Nairobi.

Then we found out 2 days later the doc was concerned with a slight cough he had and put him on antibiotics for a week and the medical had not been signed off or sent back.

Another week later the doc was still concerned and so another round of antibiotics was suggested.

As a final assurance all was well, a chest x-ray was ordered....a week later the specialist read it and it was clear...no TB!

Finally, everything appears to now be in the capable hands of the visa officers in Nairobi.

This last wait....it is harder than any of the other waits we have had....knowing we are so close to bringing him home yet not knowing when or how long it will be...

It is hard.

I didn't know it would be this hard!

Thank you for allowing me to tell you about it - you have no idea how it helps to hear from you all.

After all this time, you are still here for us, supporting us, and believing for us it will happen.

Much love to all!

Tomorrow

I keep thinking about tomorrow.

October 28, 2010.

16 months!

The number of months we have been waiting since we got our referral.

I haven't been counting the months at all...or I tried not to.

Tomorrow has been creeping into my head all week.

I am not sure why now but it could be anyone of the following reasons:

I am tired.

I am defeated.

I am deflated.

I am sad.

I am not sleeping.

I am angry.

I am frustrated.

I am worried.

I am hurting.

I feel like I'm living a nightmare which I can't seem to wake up from.

I feel like this will never end for us.

I just want it to be over and our son to be home with us.

Tomorrow is 16 months since we saw our wee son's face for the first time.

Since then he has grown into a handsome little toddler.

I just want our son to be home with us.