I Got Me Some New Marbles!!!!!!

Well, o.k. my amazingly beautiful, talented, funny friend Rachel actually sent me some of hers :)

Now I just have to figure out how to get them in my head!!!

I have to tell you when I brought the mail in the house I was all "What the....?" because the package was making a funny noise.

When I opened it up and saw the marbles and then read the note..well...I laughed my ASS off!!!!

So, I Called and Would You Believe, I Got Answers!

So, I did some calling to our province's Central Office and would you believe it! They called me back and answered all of my questions :D

Basically, they told me that our Provincial Approval does expire after 2 years here where I live...BUT because Ethiopia does not have an expiry time we are good to go...even if a proposal came in for us after the Sept. 11 date they would still give us the referral.

Now, for their own records they will want us to meet with our SW to go over if anything has changed for us over the last 2 years i.e. health, jobs security, our living situation, our marital situation, have we had any children in the last couple of years etc. etc. But we will do that in the fall IF we don't have a referral yet....if we have a referral before then (please let us have a referral by then) then we don't update anything!

Oh and yeah, we went ahead and got Dr's notes already - it is summer and all and Dr's appt. are hard to come by at the best of times.

I think we will go ahead and get C-PICS (local police checks)done too just because I like to be organized like that! (I had 5 copies of our dossier ready for our SW when we first handed it in - she looked at me like 1.) I was a bit whacky 2.) Relieved as she said I saved her 2 hours of work which is why we got our Provincial Approval the same day)

Things have not changed - we still have the same jobs, still live in the same house, have no children (of the human variety that is), are healthy and can you believe that after almost 20 months of waiting and the last oh - 4 months of me sobbing incessantly we are not divorced.

Yahoo for us!

They also told me that they are centralizing all Intercountry Adoption to our capitol city this September. They will now have 2 dedicated SWs who work only on Intercountry Adoption....all stuff will be dealt with in one office and referrals will be emailed, faxed etc if you don't live in the same city. (Please note this could all change - it is the government we are talking about here)

One thing that might not be so good is the application for adoption has gotten longer and more detailed...which is good I suppose since the application we filled out 2 years ago was one double sided page...or bad because once again adoptive parents get put thru the ringer...I see both sides of it.

They were thinking that parents who have been thru Intercountry Adoption wouldn't have to jump thru quite all the hoops as they have been thru it already.

So, feeling better about all of that!

Thanks to all of you for your encouragement and support! I really needed to know that my instinct to call and call and call again were right!

You all ROCK!!!

Now, the only other thing remaining to make me truly not worried any more and completely happy is......

Leave Your Control At The Door Please!

"Adoption is not for the feint of heart!"

I have heard this 1000 times and I have probably said it myself to other people 1000 times.

It. Is. True.

Especially as we are into our 20th month of waiting it seems to be ringing even truer.

I wish someone had said to us when we started " Leave your control at the door please!" because than we would have managed our expectations a bit better.

Yvan and I are both used to being "in control" and making our life happen they way we would like it...I don't mean this in a selfish way...we just both have a clear idea of what we want for our life together and we have set a plan/goal in place to make this happen.

When we decide we want to do something, we set the wheels in motion to get it done. Like travelling, or business or our infertility and consequent decision to adopt.

We are both "Make-your-life-want-you-it-to-be" kinda people.

Well, that planning has been thrown for a loop! A huge loopyty-lou of a loop!

We are feeling helpless....I know of no other time in my life when I have felt so completely and utterly like there is nothing I can do to make our situation what we want it to be.

As you all know we are STILL waiting for a referral....and what do you say about this that hasn't already been said.....

It sounds as though we haven't even been matched with a child yet!!!! (please note this is me reading into emails etc. and don't have this as a confirmed fact...I am just guessing and oh-whoa-is me-ing!) Which is frustrating beyond belief and after the frustration leaves..sadness takes hold and then the tears come...I am definitely ready to be crying tears of joy not tears of angst.

Now add to the fact that we our Provincial Approval expiration is looming over our heads. In just over 2 months (Sept.11) our approval will expire.

I have been in touch with the proper authorities...I think...but can't seem to get an answer. Our Independent Practitioner told us we would have to contact our Social Worker, and our Social Worker told us to call our Independent Practitioner. ARRRRGHHH!!!

Our Provincial Approval has nothing to do with our Adoption Agency so they can't answer our questions.

Our SW told us she wasn't sure how this would need to get updated and said she would get back to us...that was 3 weeks ago and we still haven't heard from her. ARRRRGGGHHHH!

I am leery to call/email her because I know how busy she is and I don't what to come across as a whack-a-do but honestly!!!!

PEOPLE.....can someone throw us a frickin' bone here!!!!

I can't sit idly by watching the days tick by knowing our approval could and might expire before we get a referral but no one will tell us what we should do to rectify the situation! If they would tell us we would do it!!

So, we sit control-less over one of the most important aspects of our life...maybe the 20 months of waiting is getting to me....maybe I am panicking for nothing...but yup....our control was definitely left at the door when started this journey...we are just starting to realize how much.

What would you do? Would you keep emailing your SW - would you contact someone higher up?

Any thoughts would be appreciated.

A Haiku by Yvan

A Haiku by Yvan

The perfect Haiku
I wrote in my sleep last night
I am no poet

Thank you!

By Yvan

A Haiku by D Dae

Desire, hunger, need
Heartbeat, blood flowing, needing, sucking
A hungry mosquito

By D Dae

A Haiku by Mary

They said this would suck
And though I knew it'd be hard,
I had hope for some luck.

Alas, it does suck
And I am losing my mind,
Constantly thinking,

What the &*#^??!

By Mary

A Haiku by Rana

We are still waiting,
to shout out we are parents,
make mine a double!

A Haiku by Dianne

All this chocolate.
Who said I wouldn't have to
deal with baby weight?

By Dianne

Congratulations Funk Family

Congratulations Jason, Sandi, Robee, Xander, Malakai and Zion!!!

Baby Girl Funk finally arrived into the world...and she is a beauty!!

Congratulations Donna, Dale and Cohen.

Our partners in waiting...and I do mean partners as our dossiers went over to Ethiopia together...Donna, Dale and Cohen finally got THE CALL!

They will be a family of 5!!!

Congratulations!!!!!!!!

Here is where it gets even cooler..not only did our dossiers travel together but....

Ricki, Rhonda and I sponsored their daughter when she first came into the FAYA Orphanage.

How is that for fate!

We wish you a speedy court date (before court closures) and quick travel!!

I think we three R's will have to travel to where you live to be at the airport for that homecoming!!!

A Haiku By BCMommy

A Haiku on Sucking


Adoption Waiting
It sucks like a sucky thing
but you will get through

By BCMommy

O.k. Peeps! It seems the challenge is on!!! Don't let the fact the she is from B.C. deter you!

I want to see your Haiku's and oh ya, I will do one too!

Pretty please, I need the laughter right now! Its been a long 19 months!

(I 'm totally trying to guilt you all...is it working?)

P.S. BCMommy has a real name but since her blog is private I am not posting it

Edited to add - I will be posting the Haiku's daily and whoever makes me laugh the hardest gets a prize...a framed version of the photo below :) come on...you know you want it!

Wordless Wednesday

Have I Mentioned...

....that this wait sucks.

It does.

S.U.C.K.S.

As Cinn would say "It sucks like a sucky thing that sucks!"

Here's What I Say to 19

PHFFFFFTTTTTT!

Now I am going to have a cold cocktail on my warm patio with my furry animals and my sweet husband!

I know What You Are Thinking!

She has completely and utterly lost it.

Nope, I still have that one marble, although it is tenuously hanging on, it is still there.

If you go back to my last post on staying busy...you will remember I was complaining about how I had done all projects one could think of....well, I guess there was one I hadn't yet tackled. You have to read the comments section to see what I mean.

I suspect there may be more for me to accomplish...if you have any ideas on future projects to keep me busy while we wait, by all means please feel free to post them.

I will see if I am up for the task ;)

High Quality Renoirs Done With My Feet

My supplies might have been limited...

.....but I happen to think it turned out quite well!

I mean not bad for teaching myself.

Now who will start the bidding?

Bolt Upright...do I hear one milliiiiiiiiiiiioooooon dollars?

Busy Trying to Stay Busy

I have been a bad blogger lately. It has been much easier to post videos etc. than to actually write about how I am feeling.

On top of that I have been busy, very busy, trying to stay busy. You see, staying busy helps to keep my mind off of other things. I haven't had to try too hard to stay busy because there has been lots going on.

It started with running the Sask Marathon.

Then my cousin from Victoria stayed with us for a week.

Friday night we got together with some adoptive friends for a great Ethiopian meal.

My sister-in-law is getting married this summer and I am in the wedding party. Last weekend we had the Colonsay shower (This is the small town her fiancee is from and the town throws a shower for each of the brides-to-be.) This past Saturday night I hosted a showerette (as I call it) for her at my house.

Then there is the yard work! Or what would be yard work if the weather would ever cooperate.

Between all of our social activities we have work. This is our busiest time of the year for our business which means longer hours (for Yvan for sure) and some weekends.

Not to mention I have yoga twice a week right now and this week I am starting another 10K clinic so that I can train to finally break that one hour mark!!!!

So, it isn't hard trying to stay busy....but stay busy I must. It is when I have down time that I find my mind wandering...I find my emotions starting to get the better of me. I actually managed to stay away from the computer all day on Sunday...didn't check one email, one blog or one message board. It felt really good to be disconnected.

I think I have also wanted to stay away from my blog because my ticker at the top seems to be mocking me. Our egg baby is half way thru his/her second round on the ticker tape.

It. Is. Depressing. O.k. not depressing.....Sad!

I heard Gloria Steinem say once "Depression is when nothing matters. Sadness is when everything matters."

I am not depressed...I am sad. Everything matters right now. It matters that the possibility remains that we might not be parents. Because until we get that call, pass that court date, get on a plane, and have wee one in our arms....the possiblity remains.

I am sad because at this moment it feels like this will never happen and that matters. At almost 19 months, I am losing steam...it is hard to be excited or thrilled or happy about something I have started to believe may never happen and that matters. I am tired of waiting. Being a parent matters to us!!

In the back of mind...I know logically we will get a referral, I have seen all our friends before us get their referrals...but the heart...well the heart can play funny tricks on you. The heart sometimes yearns for something so much it can throw everything else into disarray...the heart wants what the heart wants!

Someone said to Yvan and I last week that we should get some projects going to keep our mind off of things like plan a trip (ummmm...ya done that) or train to run a marathon (ooooooh, ya, done that too o.k it was only 10k and a half marathon but still!) and Yvan and I looked at each other and sighed.

I know we were both thinking "Seriously? Did you just say that?"

I remember when we were trying to get pregnant people would say "You just need to relax." or "Don't think about it so much!" We would think...hmmm...o.k....how do we not think about this when every month you are plotting when the best time for "optimum fertilization" will occur. Or how every month you are reminded by Aunt Flo "Hey, you! You aren't pregnant!'

Well, 19 months is kind of like that....only worse....every day I know we both hope today will be the day. Every day we hope the phone will ring and change our lives forever. The beginning of every week brings a renewed feeling that this will be the week! The end of every week brings the realization that we have to start another week waiting.

I know this post is morose...I try to be all shiny and happy! I listen when people tell me about the joy the referral phone call brings. And I believe them, I really do....and yet that phone call, that joy still eludes us.

There are days when I am tired of hearing myself moan about our wait...I know you all must be tired too. We have lots to be thankful for and you should know, we know this...we don't take things for granted...we really don't.

We are just ready! Ready to stop being busy trying to stay busy.

Scrambles the Cat....

.....I feel ya dude! I feel ya!

Compostable Diapers?

Yup, they are!

Cuuuute cotton washable outer with a plastic-free diaper inside....flush the poo, compost the pee!

Check it:

gDiapers

If it is recylable or compostable, leave it to Yvan to find it (even if he was really looking for spray foam websites).