Ranavan and the Wee Man

Wordless Wednesday

2012-01-25T09:50:00.003-07:00

He's 3!!!!!!!

2012-01-23T13:07:00.007-07:00

Who can believe he is 3??! And has been home a year?!!

We can't!

Where did the year go??????

We threw our wee, little man a party to celebrate turning 3 and being home with us for a year! Our fantastic family and friends came over to help us celebrate which made it even more special for him and for us!

Chillin' the night before the big party!

Opening a special gift from a special little friend in Calgary :)

My first ever attempt at a birthday cake! I'm quite proud of how it turned out!

A little overwhelmed by all the people singing "Happy Birthday" but he had a blast and got to play with so many of his favourite little friends!

The Cold is in the House

2012-01-18T09:16:00.002-07:00

And I'm talking the kind that takes root in your head.

Just underneath your eyes and nose.

The kind where your nose feels so stuffed out that your eyes might pop out.

The kind that makes you cough until you feel like you can't breathe.

It has taken 2 out of 3 of us down.

Thankfully Wee Man is o.k. but he is rampant upon his two sick parents.

Will continue the one year reflections of Ethiopia soon.

Inflight Entertainment or Ade's First Christmas?

2012-01-11T14:08:00.015-07:00

I could regale you with stories from our 13 hours in the air enroute to Dubai but I'm not that mean. I would hate to bore you with 13 hours of nothingness.

I won't bother telling you that Yvan slept almost the whole flight and I spent the entire time fighting off the hand of the guy sitting on the other side of me. I won't mention that he tried to grab my ass pretty much the entire flight and covered it up by pretending to be asleep. There will be no stories about how said guy never spoke a word to us unless Yvan got up and went to the washroom. Then the "ass-grabber" told me all about himself and how if I liked he would give me his number and he could show me around Dubai while we were there. Not sure how that would have worked since MY HUSBAND would have been there too.

Anyways, instead of telling you THAT story....I will show you pictures of Ade's first Christmas with us instead.

It is a much happier story!!! I will title the story.....

THE BEST CHRISTMAS EVER!!!!

Christmas Morning - having our oatmeal.

Coffee on the couch with Daddy. He still doesn't understand the presents under the tree are for him so he isn't even interested in them....YET!

Opening his stocking.

Ooooooh! What's in here?

There's more?????

Brunch with Yvan's family (missing his sis and her hubs - they joined us later)

Post present opening disaster area!

Playing choo-choo trains

Helping Grandpa open his gift :)

Riding his new car!

It Takes 3 Flights to Get to Ethiopia

2012-01-10T15:10:00.008-07:00

And Janaury 10th, 2011 at 3:15p.m. we boarded the first of those 3 flights on our way to Ethiopia and to our son, Ade.

One year ago we embarked on the greatest journey of lives to date.

If you recall we received our long-awaited, much-anticipated, highly-stressed-over Visa for Ade on December 28th, 2010. I woke up to an email from a friend who was in Addis Ababa and had been with our representative over their when she picked up our visa. She knew the CAFAC office was closed for the holiday season and she didn't want us to wait one more day to find out Ade was finally ours to go and get.

I screamed when I opened the email and read the words, "I'm thrilled to tell you this, - ADE'S VISA IS IN!!!!!!!" .

I yelled to Yvan and my mom that Ade's visa was in and then started to weep! All the worry, waiting and wondering came rushing out in one swoop as I cried and cried and cried! Yvan and my mom encircled me with their arms and we all cried together.

The next 2 weeks were spent finishing up packing Ade's bags and getting our bags packed as well. List were checked and re-checked. Calls were made, work was organized and soon it was time to leave.

But wait! What about flights you ask? Well, Yvan and I had taken a leap of faith before Christmas and had booked flights on December 23rd. Something told both of us we it was time to go to Ethiopia and not leave Ade waiting any longer. So, flights, well, they had already been waiting for us!

January 10th, 2010 was a Monday. We had most of our bags packed with just a few last minute things left to go in. We had a couple of things to run and get and one might think we were unorganized but this was probably just to keep us from sitting and pacing at home until it was time go.

We were both so nervous and emotional. We knew life as we knew it was about to change big time. As we zipped up our bags and hauled them all downstairs to the back door, I started to cry. It was here. The time had come. We were going to Ethiopia. Going to meet our son. Become a family.

Yvan gave me a big hug and told me to take a deep breath. It was all going to be o.k.

As we waited for Yvan's dad to pick us up, we talked about our past life together and how the future was going to change. We imagined what it was going to be like to see Ade for the first time and how he and we would feel in that moment.

I cried all the way to the airport. The rest of Yvan's family met us at the airport to see us off. I cried the whole time. I cried all the way through security and while we waited to board. It must have been the last 18 months of stress and waiting working itself out. It was also excitement, fear, happiness, uncertainty and so much more.

I settled down as the plane took off and we relaxed back into our seats and held hands.

When we landed in Toronto we made our across the airport to the International area of the terminal for our flight to Dubai. We had booked to fly on Emirates airline through the UAE with a one night stay over in Dubai. Just weeks before we travelled, the UAE had put a new Visa rule in place for Canadian citizens but luckily since we were travelling with Emirates they would sponsor us.

However, we had not been told how to pick up our visa, hotel voucher and food vouchers for our stay in Dubai. (Emirates pays for your hotel and food when you are on a layover.) The first boarding agent wasn't very helpful at all and told us she couldn't help us and we would have to go back outside of security to the front desk to collect our papers. Boarding had just been announced and I panicked thinking we were going to miss our flight. Yvan managed to talk to someone else who was kind enough to radio and have someone bring our documents to the gate.

Whew!

We boarded the A380 (which holds 500 people, has a first class with suites, and business class with flat-beds and an economy class with the night sky on the ceiling!) It is absolutely the biggest airplane either of us have ever been on. Yvan and I marvelled at the smoothness and quietness of it as we took-off into the night sky.

13 hours later.....we landed in Dubai.

Chocolate and Cheese Sweats

2012-01-04T13:40:00.018-07:00

Alright!

What is it about Christmas time that instills in people free range to eat anything and everything in sight?

Or is it just me who does that?

This year leading into Christmas I was really good. I was sticking to my new eating style, working-out like a mad-dog and using self-control beautifully. In fact, (excuse me whilst I brag a little) I lost 2% body fat and 2lbs in 2 months. Now, I realize I don't have a lot of weight to lose but body fat is something totally different so I was very pleased with this. I have seen a noticeable change in how my body looks (leaner) and feels (stronger) because of this.

I promised myself I would stick it out entirely through Christmas allowing myself a couple of splurge days on Christmas Eve and Christmas day. Because everyone deserves to splurge now and then.

Christmas Eve we had a lovely potluck appetizer gathering at my bro-in-law's house. I hadn't been eating much cheese (I did eat about 8lbs of cheese at another family gathering the week before) or bread so seeing all the delightful food on the table had me salivating more than Pavlov's dog.

I dug in!

I dug in hard!

It was good! Well, it tasted good anyways. The eating always feels different than the digesting. Typically after I have eaten certain foods, and an over abundance of them, the after result is uncomfortable and not so pleasant for my husband (think lactose intolerant symptoms). I know you've all been there. (Well maybe not the lactose intolerant symptoms.)

Then we headed back to our house (we live next door) for some dessert. The box(es) of chocolate were opened and it was game over.

Seeing all of those delicious dark chocolates nestled in their tiny, little beds inside the glittery, gold box with a pretty bow on top melted my heart like a fondue pot! I began to eat one, then another and another and....well you get the picture.

The gluttony fest had begun. My wall of will power came crumbling down and visions of hamburgers, sweet potato fries, apple pie, potato chips, waffles with whipped cream and chocolate cake danced through my head.

Over the next week I ate myself silly. It's almost as if once I started my brain (re stomach) said "Well, you've started now you might as well keep on going." By New Year's Day night my stomach and digestive system had, had enough of the junk food.

I pulled our last organic chicken out of the freezer on New Year's Day and so it was ready for the next day. Monday I roasted the chicken in the oven, made some sweet potatoes and corn to accompany the chicken and we sat down to a delicious, healthy meal.

It tasted good!

Yesterday we returned to the gym for the first time since the day before Christmas Eve. Oh my! What a week off and non-stop eating can do to a person when they go back to their regularly scheduled program.

I felt sluggish and slow, heavy and thick!

And the sweat! It was not a good sweat!

There is the healthy, salty, "I've just worked out really hard" sweat you get from a work out.

But this sweat...it was full of everything I had eaten over the last week. Mostly, Chocolate and Cheese!I could feel the chocolate oozing from my forehead as I did my row, box jumps and knees-to-elbows.

Today, it was the cheese sweats! Trickling, thickly down my face as I did back squats.

Blech!

While I love Christmas and all the glad tidings it brings, I am definitely happy it has come and now gone and we can get back to life as we know it.

Sans chocolate and cheese sweats.

And so 2012 begins....

2012-01-03T15:41:00.004-07:00

....and I am already exhausted!

I should be well rested from our Christmas holidays. Alas, this is not the case.

A week off with Yvan home is something which rarely happens (maybe once a year) and try as we might to have some down time we found ourselves flitting about here and there visiting and eating with friends and family.

Couple that with a New Year's Eve spent with delightful friends where we stayed up until (wait for it....) 2:30 in the AM!!!!

Ade woke up punctually at 7:15AM giving us less than 5 hours sleep. Yes, we did this to ourselves...and spent much of New Year's Day laying on the couch in our pajamas watching Ade run hither and thither through the house. It's ok...he survived the less-than-attentive parenting we offered. It's amazing how a child can just play, and play, and play and play....

My little Grandma, who is 88, has been sick on and off for months now. It started back in September and she is progressively getting worse. This weighs on my mind and my heart. We have always been very close and she helped raise me for a good chunk of my life. Seeing her become weaker by the day is heartbreaking and watching as she slides deeper into depression because she can't do the things she used to dreadful.

She often tells me these days, that "getting old is no fun" and I believe for her now that she is sick and her frail body is failing here it isn't any fun at all. She has always been a very active woman who bowled, went for walks, played shuffle board and managed to go shopping every single day. She would like to continue the robust, active life she held but finds it to strenous and being confined to her tiny apartment has been awful for her.

Seeing my sweet grandma like this is saddening and emotionally draining because as much as I want to make her better and for her to live for ever.....I can't.

Starting back to work right after Christmas holidays is harder than I thought. Being in a laid-back, carefee, wear pajama's until noon, no need to rush to get Yvan out the door, or Ade ready for activities mode got to be quite routine. (Funny how that can happen in a week) and so this morning when we heard Ade wake up and looked up at the clock and realized it was 8AM we both jumped out of bed in bleary-eyed wonderment at having slept in on the first day back to work.

That made me tired too.

I read post a while back about being in the moment...and I am trying. But I keep getting ahead of myself and find that I am living 4 months down the road or planning our summer holidays...for crying out loud it is only January 3rd! That can wait right?! My brain is whirring with the sound of my inner voice saying "What adventures can we get up to this year?" and "You SHOULD book some stuff now so you don't leave it until the last minute and then don't get to do it!"

I am making my self tired.

We are also building a new house. I have been very hush, hush on the subject, mainly because Yvan wanted me to, but it isn't something I can keep quiet about anymore. It is stressing me out. We are building our dream home. I am very thankful that we are able to do this. But I am a girl who likes everything in their place and the creature comforts of a well established home (I moved A LOT when I was kid). Our home now has fully and completely wrapped its arms around me in a homey embrace and I don't want to let go. I know that I house is just a house and you make it a home but right now...after all the changes and ups and downs of the last few years...my home is my safe haven and I will be so sad to leave it.

Building a new home is very tiring (but exciting).

There is also a niggling in my brain. The niggling is much to do with how I can do more to help others. I would like to volunteer more this year but not quite sure at what. Any suggestions or ideas would be greatly appreciated.

Alright, this post is fast just becoming me vomitting random stuff all over my keyboard and likely you have stopped reading this post by now.

That is if anyone is still reading my blog. I have NOT been the best bloggers as of late.

I will leave you with some things I would like to better myself with in the year 2012. Not resolutions because really do those ever work but small goals or minor achievements I would like to see myself hit.

Get more rest.

Worry less.

See friends more.

Get on my yoga mat.

Meditate.

Crossfit without fear of failure.

Spend more time with my husband.

Travel with my wee family to some fun destinations (at least one or two trips somewhere in Canada)

Complain less.

Smile more.

Stop to smell the roses.

Volunteer.

Stop being so damn hard on myself.

Laugh more.

Hug people more.

Dance more.

Tell me some of your goals for the New Year!

Happy 2012 :)

Merry Christmas To All!!!!!!!

2011-12-23T17:20:00.001-07:00

From our family to yours!

22 Days!

2011-12-12T11:56:00.004-07:00

That is when I go back to work.

22 days!

I'm still processing the fact we have had Ade with us for almost a year. The year flew by. There were days and weeks at the beginning that were loooooooong but now time whizzes by!

People ask me how I feel about going back to work.

I'm a little bit sad to have to go back to a scheduled work day and not have the time to just go out with Ade and do whatever might strike our fancy.

But, I have come to the realization that I am not a stay-at-home Momma! It is not what I want to do. I want to work some days and be at home some days. So, that is what I am going to do.

I tip my hat to all the Moms who make the choice to stay at home because it is HARD WORK!!! The hardest work of all I think. It is overwhelming for me some days. I find it can be lonely and isolating at times. I'm pretty social so work is also a bit of a social outlet for me. I like to go on adult lunch dates etc. Plus, I actually like working!

Who knew! I like feeling like I am contributing my ideas and abilities to our business. I like watching our business grow, change and prosper. I like to think my ideas, thoughts and creative juices are part of that growth.

This all sounds so selfish. What about Ade? What does he need?

He needs us! He definitely is the happiest when it is the 3 of us together.

However, he LOVES his daycare. We call it school since in essence that is what our daycare is like. He loves the predictability of going to school with Daddy in the mornings. He has been going 3 days a week for a while now to get him ready and he has transitioned really well. Where else can you go about the busy work of playing all day long, with like-minded other little people who truly get you! He has made some wee, little friends - Hannah (whose parents are from Ethiopia), Brooklyn, Oakland, Lucas, and his favourite friend of all, Brett!

Brett is a little girl who is a month older than Ade and they are kindred spirits. They play together all the time and have been known to hold hands all day long. Too cute!

So, Momma gets her adult play on and Ade gets his kidlet play on and then the days we spend together are so much better for it because we miss each other. We always make sure to plan something fun for just the 2 of us!

I am glad I took the full year of work off instead of just the paid Paternity leave of 8 months. We get to experience the Christmas season together fully!

This Christmas is certainly much different from last year and the year before. We are so excited to Ade home and to be able to celebrate with him. No more tears of wanting, anguish and sadness.

Wordless Wednesday

2011-12-07T07:27:00.002-07:00

Christmas has Arrived!

2011-11-29T08:17:00.006-07:00

Sunday we ushered in the Christmas season to our home.

Generally, the cardinal rule is we don't decorate until December 1.

But since this is Ade's first Christmas home with us I decided to do it a little early much to Yvan's chagrin. I told him to 'suck it up' as it was only 4 days early! Ha ha!

Down to the basement I trudged to dig out the holiday decorations. (This is the part I dislike the most. Going through all the boxes trying to find the right stuff. I really need to organize better)

With Ade's help, we hauled up all the necessary items and began unpacking. I worked methodically setting up the tree (we don't DO real trees in our house because of the environmental impact of cutting them down - ask Yvan) and so I worked tirelessly branch by branch doing the "fluff" and "flounce" to get the tree to look as real as possible.

It should be noted here that Yvan was nowhere to be seen. As we were doing this 4 days early, he made sure to leave the house "to do something urgent" leaving Ade and me up to the hard stuff. He did return in time to string the lights up because that is a job he is very good at. If I did it, all the lights would end up clumped right at the front, near the top of the tree.

OK. So tree is ready and the lights are on! Next step, bring out the decorations. Now I must tell you these decorations are OLD. In fact, they are probably close to 40 years old. Passed down to me from my mom. I clearly remember them from when I was a little girl. So this part is fun as I relive some childood memories. Yvan also has some decorations from when he was young too. A stylish tree it isn't, like those decorated ones you see in the stores or in catalogues these days. There is no color scheme or themes just random pops of color here and there but we like it.

The thing is these decorations are on their last leg and likely to crumble in your hand as you hang them on the tree so there was lots of "Oh Ade! Be careful with that one!" and "Oh Ade, probably shouldn't swing it around like that it will break!" and "Ade! Let MOM do it"!

Ha ha ha!!! I'm kinda like the Soup Nazi in Seinfeld when it comes to putting the decorations on...so I really had to take a deep breath and just let Ade have fun with it.

Which he did! He kept saying "More" which sounds like "Moray!" And saying "Mama, Papa, Mistmas Ree!!!" He was certainly having fun! Yvan and I both took turns helping Ade put decorations on the tree and we took lots of photos and video for keepsakes of his first Christmas home.

Once everything was done we plugged in the lights and stepped back to have a look. The tree, in my humble opinion, looks so beautiful and I really think it is because we did it as a family. Kids really bring out the fun in Christmas!!!!

Later that night we put on our matching Christmas pajamas (Yes, we have matching pajamas! I couldn't resist!) and tried to get a family photo in front of the tree for our holiday cards! Um, ya throw in a 2 year old, 2 dogs and 2 very tired parents and you get a gong show of epic proportions. But I think we managed to get at least one good shot!

Every morning as we come downstairs for breakfast, Ade asks for the "Mistmas Ree On!" so we plug it in and his face lights up with the biggest smile!

Seriously, Christmas this year is going to rock!

It's Been How Long Since My Last Post???

2011-11-28T13:04:00.005-07:00

Over two weeks.

It was brought to my attention by a friend who emailed and asked if I was in a blogging malaise again.

Yes. I guess I have been.

Truthfully, it was more of a "OH MY GOD I'M TURNING 40 THIS MONTH!!!" malaise.

I know it is just a number and that you are only as young as you feel.

Fair enough.

I still felt overwhelmed though. In fact, the day before my birthday I had a bit of a cry while driving down the street. I pulled over, called Yvan and blubbered about how I was getting old, blah, blah, blah....

Then the day came and what do you know? I didn't feel one bit different. Hee!

Turning 25 was also a number I remember not liking. A quarter of a century just seemed to keep rolling through my mind and I didn't like it one bit.

And now, well...I'm 40.

Honestly, it feels like 25 was yesterday. I'm not sure how the last 15 years have gone by so fast but they have.

The last year has been a whirlwind. Ade has now been home 10 months today! It feels like we just got off the plane yesterday and walked out into the crowd waiting to greet us.

Having a child does not slow time down. Nope. Not one bit.

If anything time seems to be tick, tick, ticking by at an incredible pace.

When we get up in the morning it as if someone has said "3, 2, 1, GO!!!!!" and off we run trying to get as much into each day as possible. I look back at the weeks and wonder what we actually do and can't remember.

I can only imagine how fast the next 20 years are going to fly by as we watch Ade grow up.

Yikes! And in 20 years I will be 60!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

O.k. I better stop while I am ahead!

So, I'm 40! No big deal.

It's just a number and you're only as young as you feel.

I still feel 25.

Instead of being depressed by turning 40 I decided to embrace it and signed myself up to to do the Sinister 7.

Since doing the Bridge City Beat Down I now know I can do anything I put my mind too.

Yay 40!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Remember

2011-11-11T08:29:00.000-07:00

In Flanders Fields

by John McCrae, May 1915

In Flanders fields the poppies blow
Between the crosses, row on row,
That mark our place; and in the sky
The larks, still bravely singing, fly
Scarce heard amid the guns below.

We are the Dead. Short days ago
We lived, felt dawn, saw sunset glow,
Loved and were loved, and now we lie
In Flanders fields.

Take up our quarrel with the foe:
To you from failing hands we throw
The torch; be yours to hold it high.
If ye break faith with us who die
We shall not sleep, though poppies grow
In Flanders fields.

Mo Monday Mug Shot #1

2011-11-07T12:57:00.002-07:00

Week one of Movember Mustache!

Not bad!

Not bad at all considering neither of us actually thought he would be able to grow a moustache!

Please donate to Yvan to here.

What is Prostate Cancer?

2011-11-04T07:06:00.003-06:00

What is Prostate Cancer?

Cancers are named after the part of the body where they start. Prostate cancer occurs when cells in the prostate start to grow uncontrollably. In general, men with prostate cancer have several small tumours in the prostate.

Cure rates

In the early stages, when the cancer cells are only in the prostate, the disease is very curable (cure rates of 90% or better) with surgery or radiation. Unfortunately, during the early stages of prostate cancer there are few symptoms. In fact, many men in the early stages of prostate cancer have no symptoms at all. Without regular testing (PSA & DRE), it is very difficult to find early stage prostate cancer.

If untreated, prostate cancer cells can spread to other parts of the body and produce secondary tumours (metastases). At this point, the chances of a cure are much lower. Prostate cancer can spread to any part of the body but common areas for spread are bones and lymph nodes.

Good news and bad news

The good news is that in most cases, prostate tumours grow relatively slowly. It usually takes years for tumours to become large enough to be detectable and it takes even longer for them to spread out of the prostate.

The bad news is that a small number of men have aggressive prostate cancers that grow and spread quickly. At diagnosis, it is tough to know which category a man falls into and this can make treatment decisions hard.

Learn about prostate cancer facts.

Prostate Cancer Canada

You can donate to Yvan's mo HERE

Movember!

2011-11-01T06:47:00.005-06:00

O.k. Peeps!

It's Movember time!

What is Movember you ask?

"During November each year, Movember is responsible for the sprouting of moustaches on thousands of men’s faces, in Canada and around the world. With their “Mo’s”, these men raise vital funds and awareness for men's health, specifically prostate cancer.

On Movember 1st, guys register at Movember.com with a clean-shaven face. For the rest of the month, these selfless and generous men, known as Mo Bros, groom, trim and wax their way into the annals of fine moustachery. Supported by the women in their lives, Mo Sistas, Movember Mo Bros raise funds by seeking out sponsorship for their Mo-growing efforts.

Mo Bros effectively become walking, talking billboards for the 30 days of November. Through their actions and words, they raise awareness by prompting private and public conversation around the often ignored issue of men’s health.

At the end of the month, Mo Bros and Mo Sistas celebrate their gallantry and valor by either throwing their own Movember party or attending one of the infamous Gala Partés held around the world by Movember, for Movember. "

But in simpler terms it means this guy:

Is gonna grow a sexy 'stache for a good cause.

Prostates!!

Because really is there a better reason?

I'll post photos every week so you can see the progress!

Please help Yvan raise money for prostate cancer by going to - http://ca.movember.com/donate/

and clicking the "donate to someone you know" button and then entering in Yvan's name - Yvan LeBlanc

Then kindly make a donation - even $5 :)

Thanks so much!

We love all of the men in our lives and want to keep their prostates safe!!!!

P.S. Whomever came up with Movember was a smart man...because really...men growing moustaches for fun would be silly! Now they can be silly AND helpful!

P.P.S - That is not to say men who have moustaches as a permenant fixture are silly! Not all! In fact, they are quite handsome ;)

Confession Friday (Halloween Edition)

2011-10-28T08:37:00.020-06:00

I confess it is Halloween weekend! Very scary!!!! Booooooooooooo!

I confess tonight we are going to Boo Town at a local museum. Promises to be lots of fun with kiddos in costumes and fun games for the wee one to play.

I confess Ade is going as a Vampire this year. I know not very original but I was sick all week and just finally felt better yesterday so headed to Value Village to get him a costume.

I confess last night "It's the Great Pumpkin Charlie Brown" was on. I love that cartoon.

I confess my favourite scary Halloween movie used to be the Excorist.

I confess now I am too much of a 'fraidy cat to watch scary movies anymore.

I confess my favourite Halloween candy is....oh who am I kidding it's all my favourite.

Except candy corn...yuck. Oh and also Sesame snaps! Seriously! Who likes those????

I confess my favourite Halloween character of all time is Gene Wilder in "Young Frankenstein." (Marty Feldman as Igor runs a close 2nd)

My second favourite Halloween character is Richard O'Brien as "Riff Raff" in "The Rocky Horror Picture Show. (Tim Curry is a close second as Frankfurter!)

I confess the last time I dressed up for Halloween was in 2004 when I went as this

and Yvan went as this

I confess I am wishing all you Ghosties and Ghoulies a Happy Halloween!!!!!!!

It's Not All Rainbows and Unicorn Farts

2011-10-27T07:54:00.000-06:00

Nope..it's not.

Contrary to popular belief or at least all the gushy blogging I have been doing lately.

It ain't all rainbows and unicorn farts.

It is much better! We are all happier.

But man, it is still hard.

I have been sick for the last week and a half. It is the first time since Ade has been home that I have been really sick (I don't count the PADS) with a cold or flu.

All I want to do is curl up on the couch under a warm, snuggly blanket and stay there until I feel better. Of course you can't do this with children in the house. Because they still need to be cared for. Who knew?!

I jest!

I knew! I just didn't realize how hard it is to drag yourself out of bed in the morning when your nose is leaking boat loads of snot and your throat is waging its own personal forest fire.

Wee one is particularly sensitive to my moods. He reacts to how I am feeling and since I have not been feeling well he has been "a handful" to say the least. He is also acting his age and it has been trying on my patience to remember that he is 2 going on 3 not 30!

In fact, last week I out two-year-olded my 2 year old. We were at our "Parenting with Music Class" and the cold was just starting to settle in and he was acting like one of the of the "Wild Things". He wouldn't sit still, ran rings around the other kids and shouted "NO!" at me the whole time. This is a class about bonding and attaching with your child through nursery rhymes...ya...not so much bonding happening on this day. Halfway through "Peas Porridge Cold" or something like that I couldn't take it anymore. After being headbutted in the chest and trying to keep him from climbing the walls, I stomped my feet, scooped him up, and ran out the door. I shoved shoes on both of our feet, grabbed our coats and hauled it out of there faster than you could say "Wait! Don't go!" He cried all the way home in the back seat yelling "singing" and I cried all the way home in the front seat while driving yelling "stop crying!" I was talking to myself!!!

Huge mommy fail!!!

We didn't go to the class this week because I just couldn't do it while still feeling sick. What makes it worse (or better you decide) is that the very nice lady who runs the class emailed me to say she understands why I left last week and that they missed us this week and won't we come back. She wants to "chat" after class and she let me know it is o.k. for kids this age to act out. They are just "testing boundaries". Um, I cried when I read that email because of course I know this but my selfish "me" forgot in that instant.

He is pushing his last molars too which we hadn't realized until yesterday and I noticed while brushing his teeth a little peek of white just through his gum that hadn't been there the day before. So, that probably explains the diarrhea in the diaper the last week. (That and he is probably fighting the cold I have).

Which leads me to my next MOMMY FAIL moment! Potty training!

I haven't a clue how to do this. I have read the books. I know I am not supposed to make a big deal about it. That he will train when he is ready!!! And I hear this all the time "How many kindergartners do you know who start school still in diapers?"

Well, I don't know any but that's not to say there aren't any!!!

What if my child is the first child EVER in the history of potty training to go to Kindergarten in a diaper!? It could happen.

I'm trying to make light of this but I can tell you I have shed many tears of worry over it. Who decided I can parent a child and teach him how to potty train!?? Because they were wrong! I can't do it! It's too hard!

O.k. I know you are all saying - "Calm down crazy lady!"

He is young I know this. He is not 3 yet. I know this too. But he was showing so much interest in the potty and was going quite regularly. Poop and pee and suddenly he won't go and won't even tell us when he has gone in his diaper.

I feel like I am the worst mother on the planet.

Again, being dramatic I know, but of all the parenting tasks in the realm of parenting this is the one I feared the most. I know I am setting myself up for failure by being this way and I don't want to be negative about it but I just feel like this is out of my scope of tasks I can complete.

I feel like I could climb Mount Everest without oxygen but don't feel like I can potty train my 2 year old.

Right! So there you have it!

Not all rainbows and unicorn farts!

Wordless Wednesday

2011-10-26T06:43:00.001-06:00

A Must Read Post

2011-10-22T15:32:00.004-06:00

Nope, not mine!

Claudia is at it again.

Getting all smart in her writing!

One day when I grow up I want to write half this well.

But seriously! If you haven't already read it (which I am sure most of you have) than you please go do so now.

Part one is here.

Part One and Half is here.

'Tis the Season.....

2011-10-20T21:32:00.003-06:00

....cold season that is!!!!

I'm feeling like this today.

Yesterday at the gym someone asked me if I was sick.

When I said "Why do you ask?"

She said, "You look like someone who is getting sick!"

Wow, I knew I wasn't feeling well but I didn't think I looked that bad!

But sadly, by the end of the day I certainly looked and felt sick!

Went to bed early and then spent the day just taking it easy (and playing "Angry Birds" - DAMN those Angry Birds!)

Off to bed to get try and get another good night's sleep.

At least Wee One and The Hubby aren't sick!

Hoping my fellow blogger pals Cinn and Tova are feeling better soon!

Confession Friday

2011-10-14T11:48:00.003-06:00

I confess I am feeling burnt out.

I confess the weather the last couple of days has been very drab and dreary!

I confess I was awake at 3AM...back to bed at 5AM...wee one awake at 6AM...diaper change, back to bed and thankfully he slept until 8AM.

I confess I am not looking forward to winter and the cold it brings.

I confess we went to a museum yesterday with some friends and it was delightful. The kids had a great time running around together. (Imagine, if you will, 6 kids all under the age of 3, old cars, trains and french fries)

I confess I have 2 pairs of pants to get hemmed but I just can't seem to get my act together to get to the tailor.

I confess I could use those 2 pairs of now that it is not shorts/skirt weather anymore.

I confess I am still in my pajamas and it is noon!

I confess I need a nap.

I confess this is the end of my Confession Friday.

Fall Family Fotos

2011-10-13T08:36:00.016-06:00

We had family photos done again.

This time with my Momma as she was in town for Thanksgiving.

I love the last family photos we had done but I know I am not happy in them.

In fact, I had been crying pretty heavily right before that shoot.

The last 9 months, and who can believe it has been 9 months, have been a rollercoaster of emotions I couldn't have ever imagined.

It has gotten so much better. As you can tell by our Wordless Wednesday photo yesterday "The Silly" has returned to both Yvan and me. Ade is mastering the silly as well and fits right in with us.

To be sure there are still hard days.

Being a parent is a bigger job than I ever anticipated. It opens a whole new can of worry, guilt, anticipation, love, work, dishes and laundry then one can put in words.

This time I cry when I look at these new photos because I have fallen more in love with my husband because of his strength and love over the last 4 years.

My heart literally swells with love, happiness and pride when I look at Ade.

I love the family we are becoming.

What a difference a few months makes.

Here are some of my favourites!

These photos are courtesy our fantastic friend Randeem at Randeem Andre Photography

Thanks Randeem for making it so much fun!

Wordless Wednesday

2011-10-12T14:02:00.004-06:00

You Are Now Entering....

2011-10-11T09:30:00.003-06:00

THE WHY STAGE!!!!!!!!

It happened Saturday night while we were at our friend's house for Thanksgiving dinner.

It was about 6:12p.m. and we were sitting at the dinner table eating.

Ade offered up his first "WHY?"

After eating like a fiend the last few weeks, Saturday night he declined to eat.

Said he was "All done." very matter of factly and tried to leave the table.

He knows this is not kosher.

When we told him he had to wait for everyone to finish eating he said...

"Why?"

And the Why's have continued all weekend.

In his little, sweet voice he has been asking "WHY?" to everything.

And when you answer him, he asks "WHY?" to that question.

We had been told the "Why" stage would come shortly after the "NO" stage.

It was like a switch had been flipped.

The "WHY" switch!

We still get some no's but he is also using the word...wait for it......

"YES"

now and then.

Hallelujah!!!!

But we are starting to see how

the WHY Stage can be never ending.

Because you can ask "WHY?" endlessly!

A Lot to be Thankful For

2011-10-10T10:29:00.003-06:00

Thanksgiving has been amazing!

We have had family here for a week. My Mama, cousin and uncle. The week was busy and super fun!

Sunday night we had 15 of my family members over for a traditional turkey dinner and it was delightful.

It was fun to have my mom here and share in the preparation and cooking of our delicious meal.

The best part was that Ade was here for it all. There was a childrens' table and he was sitting at it. There was much running, jumping, shouting and general silliness and he was right in there keeping up with the other kids.

It was so hectic around here that I didn't even have time to grab my camera and take a single photo. (I am very disappointed with myself for this) but here is what it looked like:

The baby in his high chair with a bib, dropping his bottle and plate every so often.

The toddlers at the kids table eating, bouncing,giggling and not listening to a word they are told.

The pre-teen bouncing around the room and the teenager on her phone texting her boyfriend and friends.

The adults sitting around the dinner table drinking wine and beer and laughing at the chaos happening around us.

Sigh!

We have so much to be thankful for!

Our health.

Our home.

Food on the table.

Good friends.

Loving family.

Ade.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Confession Friday - Thanksgiving Edition

2011-10-07T08:20:00.005-06:00

I confess after a super, duper summer and a beautiful September, Fall has set in and it is raining cats and dogs today.

I confess we have family staying with us. Lots of family! My mama, uncle and cousin are here for the week!

I confess we are super excited to celebrate our first Thanksgiving with Ade.

I confess it is still crazy to me that Ade is really here!!!!

I confess it is going to be hard to contain myself for Christmas!! I LOVE Christmas and the last few have not been fun! THIS Christmas....well...it will be fun!

I confess my Uncle woke the household up this morning at 6AM whilst making coffee - too early!!!!

I confess our neighbour's rumbling truck warming up across the street didn't help matters.

I confess I am excited for Thanksgiving dinner. We are hosting my family at our house this year and there will be lots of kids running around! Including ours! Yay!

I confess I got my first dead hang pull-up this week. And then I did 2 more. I'm feeling strong!!!

I confess I went to Las Vegas last week for 3 nights with 2 of my favourite girlfriends and it was lots of fun!

I confess we saw The Jersey Boys and if you want to see an excellent musical this is the one to see.

I confess we saw Duran Duran in concert. I was a definite Duranie in my teens in the '80's. So much so that I had their posters plastered all over my bedroom walls. I wore a rock t-shirt with their smiling faces on it and a hat and I cried when their videos came on. I know! I was truly a silly teenage girl.

I confess I am wishing each and every one of you the happiest of Thanksgivings!!!!!

I confess I am thankful for family and friends.

I confess I am THANKFUL for our little family of 3 plus 2 dogs!!!

Wordless Wednesday

2011-10-05T08:08:00.001-06:00

Wordless Wednesday

2011-09-28T08:09:00.002-06:00

Manic Monday

2011-09-26T08:33:00.006-06:00

Remember when I did Manic Monday posts? It was really good for my soul to write those posts.

I had so much going on in my head and heart that I needed to get it out and see if other people understood.

And they did.

I'm not happy other people have gone through PADS but it did help me feel like I wasn't alone or crazy.

So, I thank you for that!

I rather abruptly stopped writing the Manic Monday posts.

I didn't want to complain all the time. I wanted to feel better.

And I do!

Much better.

Now, Manic Mondays mean trying to get all of us up, fed, dressed and out the door on our way to work, daycare and errands for the week.

Instead of getting up dreading what the week will bring, we are all raring to go and see what is in store for instead. O.k. we aren't raring every Monday. I mean it is Monday after all.

Monday for Yvan means getting a handle on work for the upcoming week.

Ade's Monday is spent playing with other like-minded 2 years old at daycare (we call it school).

My Monday is getting laundry done, groceries for the week bought, dogs walked and other miscellaneous errands completed.

Having daycare has been a wonderful tool for us and has brought our family closer. It might seem a bit early to have him in daycare but he loves it and the break is good for me. It also means I can get stuff done and out of the way so when we spend time together Tuesday and beyond I am completely present for him.

Manic Monday has taken on a new meaning.

Gone are the days of "How will I get through this week?"

Now it is a day of "How much fun can we have together this week!"

They are FINALLY Home

2011-09-20T12:49:00.007-06:00

Tova, Hoty, G-man and JOY are finally home.

Queen E and B-man were sure glad to see them come through those airport doors.

How do I have these photos you ask?

My momma went and joined the others in greeting them at the airport.

So glad you are all home safe and sound TOGETHER!

Nappy Time

2011-09-18T14:36:00.000-06:00

Confession Friday

2011-09-16T08:15:00.003-06:00

I confess I have no clue where the week went! I can't believe it is Friday again.

I confess it has gotten cold here. Cold enough for us to turn on our furnace at night.

I confess I am still thinking about another tattoo. Actually likely 2 tattoos. One of Ade's name in Amharic on my arm...another one still to be determined with Africa in mind.

I confess we are having some family photos done again this weekend. Casual shots of the 3 of us...the ones we had in the spring were amazing but I was not "present" so these will be ones where we are are all much happier.

I confess Grandma and Grandpa are taking Ade for a sleep over tonight. He loves going over there and we love the night to ourselves. Anything can happen on our date nights you know...even falling asleep on the couch by 9p.m. ;)

I confess I took Ade to a Karate class last night. He did great...for the first 10 minutes... and then he just ran around the rest of the class while they did their moves. That is o.k. because he was exhausted when we got home and went right to bed without a peep!

I confess my little Grandma has been very sick the last couple of weeks and has me worried. She is 88 and we are very close and I love her very much!

I confess Ade and I are going for a walk this morning with our friend Tara and her daughter Anna. We will probably stop for muffins and tea! Yum!

I confess we have tickets to see a play of a production called "Nevermore" from a theatre group out of Vancouver. The last performance we saw of theirs was "Frankenstein" and it was fantastical!!! It promises to be "The Imaginary Life and Mysterious Death of Edgar Allan Poe" and I love Edgar Allen Poe. The best part of all is we will be seeing it close to Halloween

I confess I love Halloween! We have a costume in mind for Ade already for Halloween but now I don't what to do in terms of handing out candy because that part it so much fun too! Do we go out early with Ade and come back to catch the older kids?

I confess my mom is going to the airport on Saturday to greet Tova and family and take some photos! I wish I could go with her!

The Wall

2011-09-14T16:59:00.006-06:00

See that look on my face. That is pretty much how I have felt the last 2 years.

Tired. Sad. Exhausted. Pissed off. Defeated.

The last 2 years have thrown more at me than I ever could have anticipated. There were times I thought for sure I wasn't going to make it through. There were times when I threw my hands up in the air and said "I quit! I can't do this!"

It seemed like there were walls being plopped down in front of me left, right and center.

I definitely felt like I look in the above photo when they told us Ade might not be ours to adopt.

I most certainly felt like this when they asked us to update our entire homestudy/dossier in month in order to get our documents to Ethiopia again in time for court so Ade could legally be ours.

I absolutely felt like this when we were told Ade might have T.B. which could have meant he wouldn't be coming home for months on end.

And I 110% felt like this after we arrived home with Ade and I plunged head first into my PADS.

Whatever wall kept being thrown at us we climbed it.

At times it was easy.

Sometimes it was hard.

A couple of times the wall loomed over us so tall it seemed to go upwards forever.

Every time we conquered the wall though.

The biggest wall of all was the wall that separated me from the person I am.

Somewhere in the last two years I became very negative. Self-defeating. Unmotivated.

I lost who I was.

No matter how hard I tried to find myself all I found was a deep, dark, pool of self-pity and loathing. Like somehow, I wasn't good enough because I couldn't control what was happening to us.

I wanted to make plans for myself and couldn't. A voice inside me kept telling me I wasn't smart enough, pretty enough, strong enough etc. "You will fail if you try", this wee voice convinced me, "so why put out the effort".

I'm not sure how I managed to stay married (the best husband in the world who supported me with every ounce of his being) or still have family and friends talking to me (the best support network a girl could ask for).

This has been my biggest wall.

If you knew me before we got into the ups and downs of our last 2 years you know I was outgoing, fun, motivated, easy-to-laugh and goal-oriented. (Don't mind me while I pump myself up.)

I wanted this gal back.

In the last month I have been trying to find her again.

She was there just waiting to come out.

My mother-in-law may have known she was in there...but she probably didn't know I needed her assistance to find her. She asked me sometime in July if I was going to compete in our gym's Crossfit Challenge. She thought I should. They would babysit Ade for us so we could do it together. Maybe she knew we needed to do this together.

It was the little push I needed to convince me to do it. If she thought I was capable, then I guess I should try.

As you know, I signed up.

A couple of times I considered backing out. That niggling voice tried to tell me I couldn't do it. It would whisper in my ear, "You will fail and look like a fool in front of all of those people. People you know and some you don't."

I ignored it. I tuned it out.

Instead I told myself "I can do this! You didn't get through the last 2 years of hell because you are weak!"

So I prepared in what little time I had. Instead of entering the gym in fear of the workouts (as I often did - really a fear of life in general was what I had adopted) I told myself I could do it.

I conquered a movement I had been working on for a year and half in about 3 weeks. Before walking into the competition I couldn't do a "Clean" of more than 85#. Mentally every time I tried, I blocked myself.

The Monday before the competition I hit #100 with a Jerk to get it over head too!

I was ready.

My goal was to finish the day with a smile on my face.

There were 5 workouts to complete last Saturday.

1. Find your max clean and jerk - I set a personal record of 102# on a movement I couldn't do a week before above 85#

2. Row 90 seconds for distance. - 374m

3. Push a prowler 150m for time - 59.69 seconds

4. 1 min on 1 min off the following movements
-55# Power Snatch - 16
-Ring pullups - 5
-125# fat bar deadlifts - 11
-Paralette jump throughs - 11
-Wall climbs - 7

By the time I got to the 4th workout I was tired with a capital "T" but felt like I had a bit more in me. I gave it my best shot.

I got to the wall at the end of the work out and I thought to myself "This seems fitting! After all I have been through so far today, here I am standing facing THE WALL".

The wall in front of me represented so much more than just a part of the workout.

It was the last daunting task of a particularly ugly workout and also what stood between ME and putting everything that has happened in the last two years finally to rest.

I knew I had to get over the wall as many times as I possibly could.

Every single time I hoisted myself over that damn wall, a bit of the person I am was freed. With every heave of arms, swing over with my leg and thud as I landed on the other side of the wall, more of myself was breaking away from the pain and anguish of the last 2 years.

When the buzzer sounded at the end of the minute, I had jumped the wall 7 times.

7 TIMES.

7 has always been my favourite number. I don't know why but it has.

I had done it! I had broken free of the last wall. I had jumped over enough times to send the voice of self-doubt running for its life.

My body said "Enough! You've done enough. It's time to sit, relax, enjoy and indulge in all that you have accomplished."

I didn't have it in me to do the 5th workout.

A couple of people said, "Really! You won't have a very good placing".

And I'm perfectly o.k. with that.

Because at the end of the day I have something better than a placing.

I have ME back!

And I have THE WALL to thank for it!

Waffle Sunday

2011-09-11T09:08:00.003-06:00

Someone loves himself some waffles!!!

Confession Friday

2011-09-09T08:03:00.004-06:00

I confess it has been a very long time since I have done a confession. I think the last one was Canada Day and really that wasn't much of a confession at all.

I confess last week we spent the week at the lake and we have determined we LOVE lake life. It is so peaceful and relaxing what with the waves lapping at the beach, the smell of campfires permeating the air and the sounds of kids actually playing outside.

I confess some good friends came and stayed with us for the September long weekend at the cabin we had rented. It was quite cozy with 11 adults, 3 kidlets and 2 dogs all hanging out in a space of about 500 sq ft but it was so much fun!

I confess all the adults who had kids didn't make it past 11p.m. My how life has changed!

I confess I love the fall! It is such a beautiful time of year. I do not, however, love the weather that follows the fall!

I confess I am counting down to Thanksgiving because Thanksgiving means PUMPKIN PIE!!!! 30 days to go!

I confess I am nervous about the competion we are in tomorrow. I have been dreaming of Clean and Jerks, deadlifts, ring pull-ups, prowler pushes and thrusters for the last 2 nights!

I confess Ade is getting so tall. He was so short and so babylike when we first met him and now he is tall and very toddler-esque.

I confess Ade has been going to daycare. He loves it. And best of all at the end of the day he is very happy to see us which is making all of us happy.

I confess I will be heading back to work soon. Full time come January but for now easing back in to it slowly. Sigh.

I confess we are building a new house. When I told Yvan I would be ready to build again, I had no idea it would mean we would be doing this year. I thought in a year or two. I need to be careful of what I say.

I confess this new house will be my work project for the next couple of months as I help organize everything for it plus de-clutter and pack our current house in anticipation of the move.

I confess I hate moving.

I confess Lyndsey and Kevin are home with their kids! This homecoming has been way to long in the making. We couldn't be happier for this lovely family of 4 to finally all be together in Canada.

I confess Tova is in Africa and I have been thinking of her everyday and hoping they will be all coming home with Joy next week!

Find Your Strong

2011-09-08T15:24:00.006-06:00

In two days we are competing in the Bridge City Beat Down.

This week, some events have happened that have left me exhausted and not where I wanted to be at all mentally in preparation for this weekend.

But, the main thing is the people involved are on the mend as well as they can be.

The thought of not competing entered my mind but I have been preparing for this for a while now and it is one of a few goals I have set for myself over the coming months. I am not under the elusion (or delusion if you will) that I will place first but the goal, MY goal, was to finish all 5 work outs and still have a smile on my face and know that I did my very best.

However, I will continue on even though I have not had the rest I wanted or the readiness I had intended.

I will find my strong because it is in their somewhere.

If you would like to see the workouts we will be doing you can go here (I'm in the Brute category - hee hee! Me a brute!)

P.S. I really like the message this commercial has so that is why I am using it. Please don't feel the need to rush out and buy a pair Sauconys ;) Not that there is anything wrong with Sauconys - they are a delightful running shoe!

Wordless Wednesday

2011-09-07T06:57:00.000-06:00

7 months

2011-08-29T10:59:00.003-06:00

We have been home with Ade 7 months today!

I cannot tell you how different this day is from our first weeks home.

It was all so overwhelming and so much more difficult than I ever anticipated.

With hard work, lots of tears, and tons of "We can get through this." on Yvan's part, we are doing so much better.

I feel like we are truly starting to bond as a family!

Our homecoming from Ethiopia had started on such a positive note. We had enjoyed our time with Ade in Ethiopia so much! Never in our minds did either of us think it would be so difficult to transition to our life back in Canada to a life that included Ade.

But it was.

It got better. Slowly.

People told us "the first 6 weeks are the hardest!" and they were.

The next mile marker was 3 months. Still very hard but better.

6 months hit! Major regression.

All on my part. Our 6 month anniversary fell one day after our 2 year referral anniversary.

It was hard for my brain to comprehend we had only been home with Ade for 6 months when we had first seen his wee little face 2 years before.

He was 6 months old when we got his referral. I think knowing this and the fact he had only been home for 6 months triggered some repressed grief and anger in me.

For a long time people asked me how I felt about the fact it took so long (18 months) to get Ade home. I would say it was extremely hard but that I wasn't going to let that be our memory. I took all of the pain and anger I had and hid it. Pretended it hadn't bothered me or that I wasn't angry with the circumstances and sometimes the people who had been a part of our lengthy process. I said "it is what is?" a lot.

But I was angry. Hurt and saddened for all the lost time we had with Ade. Had he come home "when he was supposed to" he might have been a year old. But life doesn't always happen "the way it is supposed to", nope not all.

I had to admit that I had wanted him when he was younger. Bonding would have been so much easier. He wouldn't be a running, jumping, bouncing, never-staying-still 2 year old who would have like to cuddle more. Or maybe he wouldn't have.

At 6 months home, I grieved for all the time we had lost with him. I grieved for the 6 month old baby I first saw on our referral day.

I let out all the anger and blame for delays I had.

It wasn't pretty.

But it needed to come out!

Then I looked at where we are now. The reality of Ade being 2.5 years old and only with us for such short amount of time. Took a deep breath and said "O.k. this is where we are! Stop living in the past and get on with it!"

Today, this morning, as I sat and had my tea and watched Ade playing with his trucks I realized the daily anxiety of "What have we done?" was gone.

In its place was routine. A Comfortableness I hadn't felt before.

Now, don't get me wrong. There are still days that are hard. Days where there are tears on all our parts.

I have come to the realization that a family is a lifetime in the making. No matter how your family came to be.

We will always be a work in progress.

Maple Walnut Mama

2011-08-27T08:33:00.003-06:00

I remember when I first started my blog almost 4 years the welcome I got from some of my blogger friends. Since then I have met so many wonderful people because of my blog.

I want to introduce my friend, Maple Walnut Mama, who just started up her own blog.

Her family was built through adoption as well. They adopted domestically which is just as emotional and hairy as international adoption.

We met sometime ago and then she moved away. It wasn't until after she moved that we started to get to know each other.

She read my blog and we emailed.

They got their referral for Lovebug almost 2 years ago and she continued to send notes of encouragement and support throughout our lengthy process to bring Ade home.

When we were in Vancouver last week, we had the chance to reunite and see our two kidlets finally playing together!

I am thankful for her friendship!

She had always mentioned how she would like to blog but wasn't sure she was ready to share all of her emotions with The Internets.

She didn't think she should "blubber, bawl or snot all over people."

Well, this is something I have been doing since the beginning! As have so many of us here in blogger-adoption land.

So, welcome to the blubbering, bawling and snotting all over people club.

It continues even now that the kidlet is home except now it is because of loss of sleep or tantrums.

I look forward to reading your posts about the good, bad, fun, and very busy times of parenthood!

Please go and give her a nice big "Welcome to the block!"

Sleep or Lack There of

2011-08-24T10:57:00.003-06:00

Wee one used to sleep 12 hours a night.

Oh sure we had the time change debacle when he first came home but he settled in fairly quickly and about 2 months once we got a really nice routine going he slept thru the night.

Not a peep.

The last 2 weeks everything seems to have changed.

He has been waking up earlier and earlier. 7 instead of 7:30.

Then it was 6:50, 6:40, 6:20 and a few 6:00a.m. wake up calls.

This morning it was.......

4:00 a.m.

4 O'CLOCK IN THE MORNING!

Ready to play!

Um, no thanks.

I heard him open the door to his bedroom and my eyes popped open and searched for the clock.

My heart sank when I saw the time.

So, I got out of bed and directed him back to his bed, tucked him in and dragged myself down the hall and crawled back under the duvet.

Thankfully he slept until 6:30 but I did not.

I have a hard time falling asleep after he wakes up like that. My ears are attune to the creak of the bedroom door for the rest of the hours remaining until morning actually comes.

My bleary-weary brain is left asking,

"Why is this happening?"

He was napping great but this last week the naps are very short or non-existent (just talking to himself and his stuffies)

Help! Someone please help!

Back from Holidays

2011-08-22T12:40:00.006-06:00

We took the wee one on holidays last week.

The 3 of us packed up our bags, boarded a flight and headed out to warm, sunny Vancouver.

At least we hoped it would be warm because they haven't had much of a summer out there this year.

We were not disappointed.

Our vacation started on a lovely little island by the name of Gossip Island where we spent 3 delicious nights and 2 lazy days lolling around and looking at the ocean.

You can only reach the island by boat having taken a ferry to a the nearest larger island Galiano. There are no cars or amenities other than nature itself.

I made myself a new 3 legged best friend by the name of Zoey and let me tell you she was the sweetest dog around. It took all my might not to pack her in my suitcase when WE left.

Ade loved, loved, loved Uncle Gordie's boat. I think he might be an ocean lover like his Mama. We took him for hikes around the island and dipped his toes in the ocean once again.

Thank you to my Auntie Cheri and Gordie for being such gracious hosts and feeding us delicious food!

We hopped back on the ferry on Monday and headed back to Vancouver where we spent the night at my momma's house. We had supper with Claire and her boys and it was so nice to finally meet her. We have been blogger/email friends for a while and she has always been a great support for us while we were waiting to bring Ade home. Now we want to return the favour to her so hopefully she hears about a referral soon.

Tuesday we headed into downtown Vancouver for an adoption gathering. And can I just saw how cool it is that we can go to these functions now and Ade gets to come now too!

Very cool!

We both love seeing him play with all the other kids. I love that I am not a big, crying baby anymore when we leave.

There were many great adoption friends in attendance whom we hadn't yet met in person (only on-line) and it was so fantastic to put faces to names, see their kids and how lovely, beautiful and engaging they all are. There was also a little family we re-connected with after many years of not seeing each other and it was great we both had our sweethearts in our arms finally.

Quite honestly, they have the nicest little support group out there and it really makes me want to move so we can be close to them all...but visiting will have to do.

Grandma loaded Ade into her car for the long ride back to her house and Yvan and I headed further into downtown Vancouver for 2 nights ON OUR OWN!! We slept in, went for long walks and had late suppers. We even got to drink some adult beverages. Delightful!

Ade meanwhile was being escorted around like the prince he is going to the zoo, and out for brunch and playing with his favourite cousin Hayley in the paddling pool. He had an excellent time.

Then we headed back out to pick up Ade and have one last night with my family. We were worried how Ade would be with us when we got back to my mom's house as this was the first time he has been away from us for so long. We thought he might be mad and ignore us but he shrieked "MAMA, PAPA" and leapt into our arms and giggled his little head off.

Me thinks, that went very well.

Then we boarded a flight and headed back home.

Whew! Vacations are fun but tiring.

Ade was very glad to be home and reunited with his best friends Leroy and Grissom.

I did not take one photo on this little holiday. Not one. O.k. I did take one - of a couple of otters we saw on the dock waiting for the ferry. But I was too tired and lazy to take anymore.

So no photos to share but trust when I say - A GOOD TIME WAS HAD BY ALL!

Bridge City Beat Down

2011-08-11T13:57:00.010-06:00

O.k. we might just be crazy but we just registered for this - The Bridge City Beat Down.Sounds enticing doesn't it!

It is a local version of the Crossfit Games which is a yearly event held in California to find the "Fittest on Earth".

Ours is to find the "Fittest Person on the Prairies".

Yvan did it last year and had a blast.

My goal is complete all 3 WODs (WOD = workout of the day).

It's a personal challenge.

Yvan and I have been "Crossfitting" for about a 1 1/2 now but I really started to get my head into it about 4 months ago.

Not that I wasn't serious about it but my mind was definitely always on the adoption and my focus was getting Ade home.

He is home and settling in so now I am setting some goals for myself.

And this is one of them.

To work hard, do my best and finish the day with a smile on my face.

What I need is some encouragement.

So, pretty please, with sugar on top, tell me I can do it!

What is this crossfit thing we are doing you ask? Read this and it will tell you.

And watch this to get an idea of what we are in for

If you live where we live, come and cheer for us on Sept. 10th.

Green Gum Drops

2011-08-09T19:39:00.002-06:00

Well, thank you!

To each and everyone of you who commented or sent me an email or a message on Facebook.

I appreciate it.

My motivation to blog has been renewed by your thoughts, advice and encouragement.

When I started my blog it was to document our journey to Ade as well to connect with others who were building their families through adoption.

It has been a positive experience and I want to keep going with it.

I have made some lifelong friendships.

Sometimes I hesitated telling the good, the bad and the ugly.

I don't want anyone to think everything is "happy, happy, joy, joy!" all the time.

Because it isn't.

But it isn't all doom and gloom either (it seemed that way to me for while).

It's real life.

The happy, sad, hard, fun, trying, amazing chronicles of....

Our life!

And yes, as someone kindly reminded me...it's my blog and I can blog about anything I want.

Even green gum drops!

See you soon!

The Blog Conundrum

2011-08-08T20:36:00.004-06:00

I have been having a hard time with my blog lately.

So, I closed it to see if I missed it.

I didn't really.

I missed you! But I didn't miss the blog.

There are a few reasons.

Motivation to actually write plays a big factor.

Summer chaos is another.

People not commenting or reading is also coming into play.

Feeling like I want to tell the truth about life but feeling like I should sugar-coat it...I don't know why that is.

Folks reading and then feeling they know what is happening in my life so not calling anymore (for shame).

Being tired of social media and how it is supposed to bring people closer together but in actual fact it makes us all lonelier and stuck inside our houses attached to our computers.

So what should I do?

Give me your feedback! I value your opinions! (if your still reading)

Meeting Great Blogger Friends

2011-07-20T09:59:00.008-06:00

Since I started blogging 3 1/2 years ago, I have had the pleasure of "meeting" some really fantastic people.

I put "meeting" in quotations because a great deal of these people live far away in another city, province or country and I have not met them in person.

Most of the time the friendships have been "online" friendships which have grown from following each other's blogs.

Some people I have started emailing regularly with and on the odd occasion the friendship has moved to a "we talk on the phone" friend.

Talking on the phone friendships are special to me because it seems in this day and age no one talks on the phone anymore. They email or text but don't actually converse and hear the sound of each other's voices. It makes me a little sad.

The best part of these "cyber" friendships is when I get to meet someone in person. And for the most part when I meet that person they are just as lovely if not lovelier than I imagined.

There is always an element of "Will we have something to say to each other?" when we meet. Looking into someones eyes and actually seeing their facial expressions can be intimidating.

Plus if the person you are meeting doesn't have a blog or doesn't post pictures there is always the "I pictured you one way and you are totally different from that image."

And a photo or series of, does not truly represent who someone is as meeting them does. I mean meeting someone allows you to see them in action.

Right here where I live some of those friendships have grown quite close and I am so thankful for that.

This past weekend I had the pleasure of meeting a person I have "known" for a while. For the life of me, I can't remember how we started following each other's blogs. It seems as though she was just always there. We moved to emailing and again not sure how that happened but if I don't get an email from her every couple of weeks I feel sad.

One day she called me. She took a leap of faith, picked up the phone and dialed my number. I'm pretty sure she wasn't expecting to get the crazed, crying gal on the other end but she did. She could have said "I'll call you another time" and hung up, never to be heard from again. But she didn't. Instead she listened to me talk about my post adoption depression and she let me get it all out.

And she was there for me over the last few months as I dealt with it.

It seemed only right that we meet. And so we did. And it wasn't awkward at all. Oh sure, there is that initial "Will this turn out o.k." fear. But when we opened the gate to her house she was there, arms open, waiting with a giant hug and I knew it would be o.k.

Plus our toddler boys fell instantly into like with each other.

So thanks Tova, for being my friend. It is a pleasure and an honour to know you and to have not just you but your entire family! And over Sushi to boot!!!!

"Adoption? What does Adoption Mean?"

2011-07-18T13:27:00.007-06:00

Said the teenage girl to me as wee one and I waited to board our flight.

Her head tilted to one side with a quizzical look on her face.

Back up a few moments to where this conversation began.

Ade and I had been in Vancouver to visit my mom, family and some friends.

We were sitting in the boarding lounge waiting for pre-boarding to begin for our flight home.

I noticed a young, teenaged girl watching us and smiling.

Eventually she made her way over to us and stood right beside me.

I'm talking Jerry Seinfeld "Close Talker" close.

Ade was sitting on my lap facing me and I was swinging him backwards over my legs so he was looking upside down at the floor. A game he loves.

As I would swing him up, she would try to touch his head.

I would swing him back down to avoid her touching him.

Finally, I just held him close to me and sort of turned away so she couldn't touch him.

She left.

5 minutes later...she came back.

Curiosity got the better of her I guess.

She kept saying "He's so cute!" over and over again.

She touched his hair and whispered "So curly."

Finally she got up the nerve to talk to me.

"Where is his mom?" she asked.

"I'm his mom." I said.

"Where is his dad?", she quizzed further.

Quietly I said, "His dad is at home." guessing where this was going.

"Is his dad African?", she pressed.

"No, he isn't." I said as nicely as I could.

Insert the weirdest look someone has ever given me. In retrospect, I think she was trying to comprehend how 2 Caucasian people could have a Black child.

"Where is he from?" she kept on.

"Ethiopia." I answered.

"How come you have him?" she boldly asked.

At this point there are a group of people close enough to hear our conversation. She is a young girl. I don't want to be rude to her. But now all the prickly ears listening are making me feel like we are in a microscope being carefully inspected.

"We adopted him." I proudly answered. "Where are you from?" I queried her back.

"China.", she pauses for a moment. "Adoption? What is adoption?"

Her question dumbfounded me. For a couple of reasons.

1. She's from China. Which has one of the largest adoption programs in the world. And she doesn't know what adoption means.

I have been to China and it only took me a moment to factor in that the government wouldn't be broadcasting it to the public.

2. I didn't know how to answer her. That's right. I was stumped. I know what adoption means but how do you explain to someone on the spot like that. Someone whose English was good but not good enough to understand fully what I was saying.

So I said, " Adoption is where a child is born to someone but raised by someone else."

"This means he is our son." I said.

She didn't seem to understand or want to push further. It might also be that we were called to board our flight or her mother finally called her over. I can't remember.

What out conversation left me with was a question unanswered.

What does adoption mean? Because I think this is what bugs me when people ask me if our son is adopted and we tell them yes and then they ask where his parents are.

It bugs me because I just told you he is adopted which means we are his parents.

Merriam-Webster's say it is "the act or process of adopting someone or something: such as a : the act or process of adopting a child."

That sounds cold and calculated. Unfeeling and without love or joy attached to its meaning.

And no where in there does it talk about parenting.

To me......

Adoption means love!

And parenting.

It means sad times mixed in with good times.

Hardships and uncertainty.

Dreams finally come true.

Giggles and guffaws!!

Diaper changes, midnight soothing of a nightmare, eating breakfast before 8.

Delightment when a task that has eluded is accomplished like stacking blocks, riding a trike or the brushing of teeth.

Adoption is growth. From 2 people to 3, inches on the wall, shoe sizes doubled and finally being able to reach the kitchen counter top for whatever goodies await.

Knees scraped and owies kissed and great, big family hugs to end the day.

To me adoption encompasses all these things and so much more....

To me adoption means....

Family!

One Papa, one mama, one wee one!

Wordless Wednesday

2011-07-13T09:39:00.002-06:00

A Wee Weezer Fan

2011-07-10T21:04:00.007-06:00

I think I have mentioned before that we have Apple T.V. It allows us to stream our music from our computer to our t.v.s through our stereos.

It also shows the album art for each album we are playing if we have the cover downloaded which we usually do.

In the morning when we are getting ready for the day we play music.

Ade loves music! Loves it!

In particular he loves Vampire Weekend, Wolfmother, Micheal Franti, Mumford and Sons, Musegvbbbbbbf...anything with a good guitar rift and upbeat tempo he rocks out to.

I like Weezer and thought Ade might to. So, I played some of their music for him last week.

Like would be an understatement.

HE LOVES WEEZER!!!!

Especially, this album!

Can you guess why?

He loves the music because as soon as we turn on the first song he starts pumping his fists (not unlike Jersey shore - sigh) and jumping up and down around the bedroom.

So, I thought to myself if he loves this Weezer album it would be reasonable to assume he would like other Weezer albums too.

So, I played another one.

This one in fact.

And I would be wrong in my assumption.

He was NOT having it.

He pointed at the t.v. and demanded "PUPPY!"

So, back to this album again

And really! Who doesn't like to rock out with a puppy hurtling across the t.v. screen.

So, now we dance party away to Weezer in the mornings!

We have started to teach him how to air guitar too...that will have to be a video post one day because it is AWESOME!

Schpants

2011-07-04T09:38:00.003-06:00

My mom spent the long weekend with us! She lives in a land far, far away.

She left this morning and now I am very sad!

We always have so much when she is around.

So here is something to lift my spirits and maybe yours too.

Confession Friday (Canada Day Edition)

2011-07-01T06:39:00.000-06:00

I confess I am proud to be Canadian!

Happy Canada Day!!!

Wordless Wednesday

2011-06-29T09:50:00.004-06:00

Rain, Rain...

2011-06-21T11:17:00.006-06:00

....go away! Come again another day!

We are about to get more rain!

Where we live it isn't so bad.

But south of where we are! About 2 hours away in Weyburn and surrounding area.

People are losing their homes, pets and belongings.

Please keep all those who are affected in your thoughts!

"Circle the Wagons" Auction

2011-06-18T16:15:00.000-06:00

This is the McKnight family.

This is Billie.

The McKnights are waiting to bring Billie home from Lesotho.

Billie's health has taken a turn for the worse and she has had to be admitted to private medical care.

Because of extended wait times now happening in this country (as those of in the Ethiopian adoption community are all too familiar with) as well as this unforseen medical expense, they are paying extra costs to care for her. Costs which they had not anticipated in their budget.

My friend Tova is hosting a silent, online auction to raise funds to help the McKnights pay for this extra care.

There will be lots of good stuff to bid on - art work, purses, scarves, sports gear and even an ipod touch!

So click here!

Auction starts TODAY! RIGHT NOW!

And will end Thursday, June 23rd at 8:00p.m.

Be sure to check back to make sure you haven't been outbid on your favourite item.

Tell your friends, family, co-workers and even random strangers on the street. O.k. maybe not randon strangers.

But tell people!

Haven't talked to someone in awhile!

Give them a call on the phone (I know weird right!) and tell them.

Link to your blog and write a post about it.

Facebook your friends about it.

Get Tweety with it!

Circle the Wagons Online Auction.

You know you wanna!

Confession Friday

2011-06-17T09:04:00.006-06:00

I confess I have gone to the gym 3 times this week. 3! Amazing! While I feel like I have been hit by a Mack truck, it does feel good to have exercised so hard.

I confess I am disappointed by certain individuals who have tarnished the reputation of one of my favourite cities in the world. Vancouver worked so hard to show the world at the 2010 Olympic games what a beautiful, creative, peaceful, multi-faceted city it is. Struck down by a bunch of dumb asses who were mad their favourite hockey team didn't win the Stanley Cup. Really? You rioted over a hockey game and made the world think a bunch of ass hats live in Vancouver. For shame. Don't worry Vancouver - those who know and love you, know this was the actions of a few and not a representation of the many.

I confess we have some nice Father's Day plans for Sunday. Maybe a little picnic in a park with some BBQ'ing happening. Hot dogs (of the turkey variety) and some macaroni salad accompanied by some kind of delicious summer type dessert.

I confess I am annoyed by the mail strike. Mostly because I like getting mail and we haven't had any all week. Plus I need to send in Ade's name change so we can move on to applying for Citizenship but need a new name change form because Vital Statistics did not tell me I am the applicant for my son so now I need to re-do it. Bummer.

I confess summer is going fast already. It is the middle of June. Pretty soon it will be September. Yup, it goes that fast.

I confess I enrolled the wee boy in a parenting with music class for parents and their toddlers for the fall. I am looking forward to it because there is nothing he likes better then music.

I confess we have one gym class left for the wee boy. When we first started it was all we could do to get him to just run in a circle. I feared we had signed him up to soon for activities. Each week he has progressed and each week added a new skill as we moved through the stations. This past week I barely had to help as he just blasted through almost everything on his own. AND he even hung on to the parallel bar and did peek-a-boo. Next week is the last class and I am sad but oh so proud to see our dude learning so much so quickly.

I confess I will be out in Vancouver twice this summer with Ade so if anyone wants to get together send me an email.

I confess I hate Lima beans. And liver. And perogies. And onions. And peas.

I confess it is Mojito season! I love Mojitos!

Gandahara Contest Over at Sun Dance, Moon Dance

2011-06-16T08:19:00.001-06:00

My good friend over at Sun Dance, Moon Dance is having a contest.

She is giving away a beautiful bracelet and eye glass case made by artisans from around the world and sold by a Canadian company called Gandahara Designs.

"You could win your very own Kenyan Ceramic Bracelet - The Firefly and a Hand Embroidered Eyeglass Case, a prize package valued at over $70!"

Gandahara Designs " Specializes in wearable works of art for the selective and socially conscious shopper, the company is an innovative model of social entrepreneurship which supports artisans in the developing world, mostly women, to earn their way out of poverty and become active agents of social change."

The jewellery is absolutely breathtaking!!! There are some other beautiful items too like the Christmas decorations!

So head on over to Sun Dance, Moon Dance and check it out!

Be Happy

2011-06-15T07:14:00.003-06:00

Be Happy! A little book for a happy you. By Monica Sheehan

For years I have purchased self help/improvement books.

And these books. They were o.k. Some of the information was helpful.

But finally I found THE book.

And it happens to be a kids book geared towards ages 3-5.

It is simple. It is too the point. It is good for everyone no matter the age.

I bought it for myself and it is always handy so I can read it.

"Sing and dance a little!"

"Draw and paint a little."

"Make Friends."

"Share what you have!"

"Don't compare yourself with others." (don't let others compare you either)

"Be the best you"

"Be helpful."

"Be the curious."

"Be Brave."

"Be Kind."

"Be thankful for all the people and things you love."

"Dream Big"

"Don't ever lose hope."

"You never know what tomorrow will bring."

"So have fun!"

I also found this video dedicated to some of Monica's other drawings and inspirations.

Does It Get Easier?

2011-06-13T11:29:00.007-06:00

I have had this question from a few people who have recently come home from Ethiopia with their children.

One week today will mark 5 months home for us.

5 months!

I'm not sure where the time has gone.

In the beginning, some days seemed to drag on forever as I tried to keep Ade engaged and still keep my sanity. But then the weekend would be upon us and I would think "What the heck did we do all week?"

Those first 2 months home I couldn't get out the door before noon...and then we couldn't go any where because it was time for lunch and then a nap. Not to mention we were snow bound with awesome -35 temps.

Showering seemed to be something I did in a past life. If I managed to squeak in a shower forget about doing my hair.

It was hard. I have moaned about it in past posts here and here.

Organized I was not. Dishes piled up! Laundry went unwashed and the kitchen table overflowed with piles (and NOT the kind you get on your derrière either).

Sometime in the last 6-8 weeks things have gotten better. Settled if you will. A routine of sorts is happening.

I think it started to fall into place when we planned our first mini-holiday to attend a family wedding in Victoria on the May long weekend.

I had been fretting over this vacation since we booked it. How would Ade be on the 2 flights plus airport layovers we had in the schedule. While they weren't long flights (each being an hour or so) and the time in airports was a couple of hours it still had me in a panic thinking our wee child who seemed to be fully embracing his TWONESS would be the child on the plane screaming, throwing things, crying, and running up and down the aisles while other passengers gave us the dreaded hairy-eye ball.

Not to mention getting to the airport on time. We are renowned for pushing things to the limit time wise and never get anywhere on time.

None of this happened. In fact, we were packed and ready to go on time!

He was a great little traveller. He did say a couple of times "All done." while we were in mid-air but the power of Cheerios always seems to win out.

I feared being in a new house with people he wasn't familiar with would throw him for a huge loop. I thought he wouldn't nap and would be up all night.

He was not. He napped and he slept 12 hours both nights.

He is quite the adaptable little dude. He proved this again when he and I went to the lake this past weekend with some friends. I will post more on that tomorrow.

When we returned home, it clicked in me that life can still be active and full of fun. We, meaning I, have made great strides in the "Life is not over and you can take a 2 year old places" category.

This is not to say he is perfect or an angel. He is not. He is 2 and as such has a 2year old's approach to everything. He can bring me to me knees in tears of frustration faster then Bruce Lee could drop kick someone.

That approach being "The world is my oyster and if you don't let me do want I want I will sit here and cry and kick my arms and legs until you do." O.k. not always,but
there are times.

He is curious, adventurous, smart, funny, outgoing and let's not forget cute. No, people will not let us forget how cute he is.

But I am getting into a "Isn't my kid fantastic?" mode and away from the "Does it get any easier?" bit.

But really, Isn't he fantastic????

Now, I can have him, the dogs, Yvan, diaper bag packed and stroller out the door lickety-split! When we went to the lake this weekend I thought I am never going to make my 2pm deadline but I was actually ready to go at 1pm.

It is getting better.

Does it get any easier?

Nope.

I don't think parenting gets easier. I think the ride is just gearing up. We have just started up the first incline on the roller coaster of parenting with the teens years still ahead (Yup, thinkin' about the teen years already).

But it gets better.

Less overwhelming.

Much more fun!

Wordless Wednesday

2011-06-08T05:51:00.001-06:00

To Eat or Not To Eat

2011-06-06T12:51:00.006-06:00

That is the question.

Well, really it should be "Will he eat or won't he eat?".

I'm sure you remember when I mentioned Ade's voracious appetite when we brought him home 4 months ago. It was as if he had never seen where food came from in his whole life. And in truth, it is likely he hadn't.

I will expand on that statement with this.

What we think looking back over our time in Ethiopia is that for the children in the foster home food just appeared. They weren't involved in the purchasing, preparation, cooking and plating of the food they ate. And how could they be? There were something like 60 kids in the home. Insanity would ensue if they tried. Not to mention how many kids came from having no food at all before the foster home.

When we finally took custody of Ade, we used the little kitchenette outside of our hotel room to make meals. One of us would stay in the room with Ade while the other went and got breakfast, lunch etc ready. We ordered in food quite a bit from the surrounding local restaurants. On occasion we go out to eat in a restaurant. So, when Ade would eat a meal the food just came to him.

As we settled in at home, it became clear to him the big black thing with handles had food in it. He could also see the fresh fruit on the counter. Something primal in him triggered. I think( in my opinion) it was the "I haven't been getting what I need in terms of amounts of food or kinds and now it is available to me whenever I want/need it."

I think the worry of food not being there again or not having enough to eat caused him to constantly want it. Who could blame the little guy! If you have constantly had to fight for food for fend off those trying to take your food, once you know it is readily at your disposal you will want it all the time. Even if you aren't hungry. You just want to have it in case it isn't there again.

It was hard to watch him standing at the fridge crying. The first weeks home he would be at the door with his hand up trying to open the fridge and sobbing. It broke our hearts and frazzled us a bit too. We knew it was something that could happen but to actually see it for yourself is something else. We couldn't communicate to him the food would always be there. We just had to get in a routine of showing him inside of the fridge and telling him there would always be food and he didn't need to worry.

The need to be satiated all the time with food has slowly passed. He is confident the food will be there. He doesn't freak out or melt down if we don't get breakfast made in 30 seconds. We can tell him and show him the food is being cooked and will be ready soon and he understands it.

I can honestly say watching him cry for food has been one of the hardest things to see in all of my life. It was the desperation and fear which was so difficult to witness.

But now the toddler aversion to food has kicked in. He feels so comfortable the food will be there he has become uber picky! The "Toddler Handbooks" I have all say this is normal. It is even evolutionary we have been told. A Darwian lesson of the strongest will survive, if you will. I.E. he only eats what he thinks is safe and won't poison him. Weird hey!

"Don't take it personally" they say. Or as Yvan likes to say "Let it go". It's not that I am taking it personally it is just so damn hard to think of new meals to cook when Ade's taste is like a moving target.

One day he likes baked beans. The next he turns his nose up to very same beans he couldn't shovel fast enough into his mouth. Don't get me started on meat. As long as it is stew like or in a sauce we are good to go. But if you were just to put little chunks of chicken or hamburger or fish on his plate he avoid it like the plague.

Fruit, some veggies, oatmeal, crackers and muffins are all good! He will eat those no problem. So he gets lots of those.

He used to love scrambled eggs. Made them for breakfast this morning and you would have thought I had served him a steaming plate of pooh the way he swiveled his head vigorously saying "NO!". So, I did what I have always said I wouldn't do.

I put ketchup on the eggs. He ate them. All!

Sigh......

He used to eat red peppers and hummus with me. Now he prefers Beefaroni! More like Barfaroni! I would make scrambled eggs with spinach and avocado for us and he would gulp it all down and ask for more. Those days are long gone.

I didn't want to be the mom who gives her kid processed food from a can for lunch. I can feel all the moms of the world "tsk, tsking" me!

I want my son to know I love him and care for him which is why I just may "take it personally" or can't "let it go". I know love isn't shown with food. I am trying, I think, to instill positive eating habits in him. I think about it all day long, by the end of the week I am so frustrated not to mention tired, because I just can't think of another thing to make for supper.

I guess I best just let Darwin's theory play out for a while and hope he doesn't grow up to be on Freaky Eaters eating nothing but potatoes and cheese or corn starch! I know, I know...quit watching those kinds of shows.

Creative meal making is hard.

I wouldn't trade the days of watching him cry in desperation but I do long for the times we sat at the island sharing hummus.

U2

2011-06-04T08:55:00.009-06:00

I have loved U2 since I was 12 years old. It was the first cassette I bought of my own accord. It was the "Unforgettable Fire" album and "Pride in the Name of Love" soon became my all time favourite song.

I have since followed them thru every album. Even when they sort of (in my opinion) went off track with "Pop". I was supposed to see them on the Popmart tour but had just come back from visiting my parents in Panama where they were living at the time and was too tired to travel another 5 hours to see them. I have regretted that decision ever since.

I had the opportunity to see them again on the Elevation tour and jumped at it this time. They were fantastic!

When I met Yvan, one of the things that drew me too him, other than his sparkly personality and dashing good looks, was that he loved U2 as much as me.

Together we have seen them 3 times (I know excessive). The first time we saw them was right after we got married on the Vertigo tour and now this tour twice.

This show was outside and it was amazing! Much better then when we saw them indoors in 2009.

U2 never disappoints. We have seen many bands in concert and they are the best touring band you will ever see live. Bono is a true show man and probably the most engaging front man out there.

Our hope is they do one more album and tour at least so we can take the wee lad one day to see them.

This show they sang a bunch of our favs - "Pride in the Name of Love", "Sunday, Bloody Sunday", "With or Without You", "Where the Streets Have No Names", "I Will Follow", "Beautiful Day", "One", "Magnificent", "Elevation", "City of Blinding Lights" and much more!

Edit - Sorry for the poor quality photos! The concert tickets say no cameras allowed so I didn't take my SLR. Of course how do they regulate this with phones now a days. Everyone and their dog had cameras or video cameras! Next time for sure!

Confession Friday

2011-06-03T13:32:00.004-06:00

I confess I haven't confessed in a couple of weeks. Bad Confession Friday blogger I am.

I confess I was craving chocolate cake last weekend but was to tired to make one from scratch so bought a Duncan Hines mix and it was DELISH!

I confess we had an excellent time at U2! It was a nice little romantic get-away for the two of us.

I confess we almost didn't go to Edmonton to see the concert because we were worried about how our boy would do. But I have to tell you, our wee boy was so excited when we got home last night. He actually did a little jig when we walked in the door. I think the attachment is coming along nicely!

I confess it is raining here today and everything has turned lovely shades of green.

I confess I am thinking about getting another tattoo.

I confess I am turning 40 this year and am having a hard time with it. 40! Wowzas!!

I confess I read "The Glass Castle" recently and wanted to yell "OH MY GAWD! LOOK AFTER YOUR CHILDREN ALREADY!!!!"

I confess I hate when you eat popcorn and the kernels get stuck in your teeth. Can you guess what I just ate?

I confess I sent a friend a parcel this week. Thing is, I accidentally put my name in the "To" spot her name in the "From" spot and so I actually sent the gift I bought for her to myself!!!!!!!!!!! Lynds the package isn't going to make it for the weekeend as I promised! It will be there next week!

Wordless Wednesday

2011-06-01T08:14:00.005-06:00

and also

Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!
(P.S. I know these tickets say June 23, 2010 but the concert was postponed because Bono hurt himself...the show was rescheduled for TONIGHT!!!!!!)

Really??? Did You JUST Ask Me That?????

2011-05-30T17:46:00.008-06:00

Last week Ade and I went to the park with Yvan's brother for an afternoon.

While we were playing and running around a lady walking a dog approached us.

"How cute are you?" She said to Ade.

"Your just so cute that's what!". She continued.

We are used to this. We get it a lot!

Random strangers telling us how cute our wee son is.

And he is cute! Killer cute! Melt your heart cute!

Lock up your daughters cute! (I know he is only 2 but let me tell you he loves the ladies!)

The woman continued. "Is he adopted?"

"Yes he is." I politely replied.

Then this woman I have never met said to me:

"Does he have a mom and dad?"

Never in my life have I had to contain myself from going off on an all out tangent on someone.

"Yes, he does." I said through clenched teeth. "My husband and I are his mom and dad."

Then she kept on, "Oh, well you know what I mean! Where are his REAL parents? What happened to him?"

"Hmmmmmm", I thought to myself...."I don't know what you mean actually and why don't you just shove it your #$%!"

But instead I said, "I'm sorry we don't share his story with strangers."

I'm not trying to be rude, I'm just trying to educate myself!" She retorted.

"WELL I'M EDUCATING YOU RIGHT NOW ON WHAT YOU SHOULDN'T ASK PEOPLE YOU HAVE NEVER MET IN THE PARK WHILE WALKING YOUR DOG!" Is what I screamed inside my head.

Instead I said, "He doesn't know his story yet and so until he knows his past we aren't sharing with people. It will be his decision when he is old enough about what, if anything is shared."

She back offed a bit and tried to tell me some story about her brother's friend's niece's child who was adopted but I wasn't buying it.

I wished her a nice day and we continued on playing. It was the first time someone was so "in your face" about it.

Let the games begin!

Wordless Wednesday

2011-05-25T08:25:00.009-06:00

Road Trippin'

2011-05-18T22:03:00.009-06:00

Yesterday Ade and I went on a 2 hour tour down south from where we live to visit our friends, The Lawson's.

At first I was a little hesitant about driving 2 hours with my young, rambunctious, sometimes whinny, sweet, but very chatty and loud 2 year old. But then I threw caution to the wind and loaded him up along with the pantry and we set off.

He did so well in the car. He didn't even flinch when we stopped on the side of the road for a wide-open trunk diaper change. I, however, did the fastest diaper change this side of the Rockies because of all the friggin' mosquitoes! Damn, I hate those things!

Ade really wanted to see his friend Neveah who he spent sometime with in the foster home in Ethiopia. They enjoyed their lunch date immensely!

Since Nev celebrated her 2nd birthday not so long ago, Ade thought it would be a good idea to get her a Leap Top as a gift. He loves his so much he thought she would too! And she does!

Now they can email each other! (Kidding, they can't, they're only 2 people!)

Nev's big sister came home from school and hung out with the kiddos! Ade was smitten. He kept re-adjusting how he was sitting next to her in attempts to sit as close as possible.

A great day was had by all! And wee little dude was so pooped out by the time we got in the car he could hardly keep his eyes open. 5 minutes into the drive home he was sound asleep!

Adoption Magazine and NandiKids Giveaway

2011-05-16T16:50:00.004-06:00

Alright!

So a pretty fabulous gal who lives in the province next to me started an Adoption Magazine for those folks who have adopted, are in the process of adopting, thinking about adopting or even know someone who is adopting/adopted and wants to better understand what adoption is all about for us Crazy Canucks who live in Canada.

Adoption Magazine

They are doing a giveaway for Nandikids products right now over at the magazine so hop on over and take a peek.

Here's the great thing about this magazine - I didn't know about these hair care products until today.

See. Informative.

Also, they post articles by families who have adopted from all over Canada both internationally and domestically. I always enjoy reading the well written and thought provoking stories. It certainly helps families feel like they aren't in this alone and have a great resource to turn to when needed.

And they even asked if they could post two of my blabblings on their site as well.

Who can believe it!

So go check it out!

So Much Happening to So Many...

2011-05-16T11:26:00.003-06:00

...Here and here and here.

Confession Friday

2011-05-13T11:07:00.003-06:00

I confess it felt good to write the "Loss" post the other day. If for no other reason, than I have never really openly admitted my loss issues.

I confess Blogger had some "maintenance issues" on Wednesday and lost posts from a certain time of day. It is ironic the post of mine which was lost was a post on loss.

I confess I have decided to parent a la "Modern Family" whilst living in "Cougar Town" because then I could drink red wine all day and drive around in a golf cart. I could be proud of my parenting/relationship fails because Phil and Claire do it so humorously and I want to be just like them. But I don't like red wine so instead of that I would drink Sangria all day. I would still drive around in the golf cart because, HELLO, that would be F. U. N.

I confess now I want to make a giant pitcher of Sangria and sit in the backyard sunning myself. Of course I will be wearing the appropriate SPF so as not to burn.

I confess the wee boy and I had a fabulous morning. Started out by having a dance party to Michael Franti. Then loaded up in the stroller and stopped off at a local bakery to purchase some delectable treats and headed to the park for a picnic!

I confess it is one week until our trip out west. I am looking forward to seeing my momma and family. A little bit dreading the packing and flight.

I confess I went for my first Homeopathic treatment this week. She was great. Did her mystical mojo magic and had me sip various potions while giving her numbers between 1 and 12. Then blended up a heavenly concoction for me to put into 2 cups of water and sip throughout the day. I am to do this daily and so far...IT IS WORKING!

I confess I have started into perimenopause and let me tell you...the fun has begun...if this is only the percursor to then I am afraid of what menopause will bring.

I confess I did a really hard workout on Tuesday doing pistols (one-legged squats) and walking lunges with a 25lb plate overhead and my ass still hurts today.

I confess the wee dude has made significant strides in his language and speech this week. He has probably added 10 new words. Still working on saying please - he just laughs at us and says "More!"

I confess last night I put my tired toddler and sick husband to bed at 7:30p.m. and I curled up on the couch and watched a movie with my Sammi. "Blue Valentine" - excellent movie with amazing performances by the lead actors but if your marriage is in a state of upheaval probably best not to watch it.

Loss

2011-05-11T21:05:00.000-06:00

I have been thinking about loss a lot lately. Our boy's loss has triggered some old feelings of loss from when I was young.

My parents split up when I was 7. I didn't see my dad again until I was 26. His choice. No keeping in touch, no birthday cards, no Christmas cards. No contact.

I tried. But I was 7. What does a 7 year old understand when she stands at her father's door and he won't even come to the door but sends his girfriend instead to say he doesn't want to see her.

I needed answers. 19 years later, I wrote a letter, left a phone number and he called me back. Since then we have maybe spoken or seen each other a handful of times. That was 13 years ago.

I used to think it was something I did. His leaving. I would cry at my desk at school. It took me until I was 33 to realize it was nothing I did. What made me realize it? I found out he got married. To the woman he had been with for 20 some years. He never bothered to tell me. It was that day I knew it wasn't me. It was him.

Yvan has never met him. I don't speak of him often. I have made my peace with him.

I work hard at making my peace with the loss. The loss of the person who was supposed to be there. This loss rears its head at funny times. It has made me leary of making friends. I have trust issues. I will probably work thru these issues for the rest of my life.

We all have baggage. We all work at things. This is mine.

I mourn for my loss.

But more than anything I mourn for our son's loss.

I had the oppurtunity to look my loss in the face and ask questions.

I am unsure if Ade will have this chance. We will do what we can. When we can.

I will share my story of loss with him. How can it compare?

We will tell him we love him. That we are there for him.

Comfort him when he cries.

Answer his questions when he asks.

But will it be enough?

Happy Mother's Day to....

2011-05-08T11:55:00.007-06:00

....My beautiful,lovely, brave, strong, caring, always-there, Mom who was both my mom and my dad. Thank you for always being there.

...to my mother-in-law who raised the tender, sweet, loving man who became my husband. You did good!

...to all the mothers who made it possible for mothers who might otherwise not have been mothers. Without you our kids (and I a mean it in a we are both their mom way) might not be here today.

...to all my momma friends who have supported me through the last couple of years and more importantly the last couple of months. Even though some of you are still waiting for your kids to come home, or have struggles of your own with your kids you alway stop and take the time to listen to me.

...to all my momma friends have kids in far away places...you are mothers whose hearts are missing a little piece of you but you stand strong for your kids even when you feel don't have much strenght left. The love they will recieve when they are finally in your arms will be amazing!

Happy Mother's Day to all you beautiful Mamas! Your job is not easy but you all do it with grace, humility, compassion, and love!

I am inspired every day by all the Mamas in my life!

Confession Friday

2011-05-06T10:19:00.004-06:00

I confess I am exhausted! I join these two lovely ladies in their exhaustion and the two stage.

I confess I have been avoiding blogging because I didn't want to complain anymore about how hard starting out parenting a 2 year old is. I know so many people are still waiting to bring their kids home and I don't want to seem ungrateful.

I confess we are grateful but starting out parenting for the first time to a 2 year old is f@ck*ng hard!!! I cry daily!

I confess my husband is taking me do something nice today - just the 2 of us - I have no idea what it is.

I confess I was so excited about celebrating my first Mother's day this year but I think I might be too tired to enjoy it!

I confess we have 2 weeks until we go see my mom and family and I really need to have my mom wrap her arms around me and tell me everything is going to be o.k.

I confess I will tell my mom how much I appreciate her being my mom and how I didn't realize how hard it must have been for her and how much I am glad she loved me through the good times and the bad. I will follow her example.

I confess my sweet boy had his immunizations and is pushing 2 teeth this week and he has been a strong little dude about it. He is in really good spirits considering his body is trying to make him otherwise.

I confess we woke up to the biggest, craptasic, poop explosion we have ever seen...how can one little dude have so much poop inside him!

I confess I have to remember to breathe!

Our Boy

2011-05-03T14:55:00.002-06:00

3 Months Home!

2011-05-01T08:27:00.011-06:00

Friday marked 3 months home as a family.

It has been a roller coaster of a ride since then.

We knew it would be hard but until you are in it you don't know how hard it will be.

There have been some good moments too! We have laughed and snuggled and played!

Our wee dude's personality is showing itself to us more and more everyday. He is a pretty laid back little dude for the most part. He likes to go out for walks in the stroller. Loves to go for car rides and loves to play in the back yard. But you know...he is 2! So some days the 2's take over and you think "Where did you come from?". He is adventurous and not at all afraid to go new places with us.

When we first met him, he was a sick little guy. He had an upper-respiratory chest infection and a rampant scalp infection (we think it was ringworm our peds specialist thinks impetigo) either way, his head was sore. It wasn't until we shaved his head that we realized how bad it was. Poor little guy! We are glad we did it though because his head was almost cleared up by the time we started our long journey home. He also had a belly full of parasites. Some we treated in Ethiopia but the rest we had to treat at home. The Giardia was the worst simply because of the smell. It all seems to be gone.

His energy level runs at about a 10 so he keeps us busy! From the minute he wakes up until we put him to bed he is a playing machine. Now he is starting to play by himself more so that gives us a break for about 15 minutes or so. Hee! And can the child talk! Oh my! He can talk! All day long he is talking!

Ade loves to snuggle and will curl up on the couch with either of us to just hang out. Bath time is a favourite time in our house and going to bed has become a nice routine without much crying (on all of our parts). I think the biggest thing is he is more comfortable and knows we will be there for him if he needs us. He is now sleeping about 11 1/2 hours at night which is fantastic. Oooh, and finally he likes to brush his teeth...mom and dad do it first and then he does it for a bit and he is pretty good at it.

We are told by all he is pretty much a typical 2 year old. Our social worker, whom we love to bits, tells us the attachment is coming nicely! She says "He is primed to attach." and I believe her. He doesn't seek out other people for affection and always wants to come back to us. He is close to his Grandma and Grandpa (gmamama and bumbpa) and loves his Auntie and Uncles. He is a social little dude who loves to play with other kids. Living in a house with close to 60 other kids will probably do that. So we make sure to schedule lots of play dates. Truth be told though he loves it best when Yvan and I are both home together and it is the 3 of us. He seems to be truly happiest then.

He loves the dogs and cat. He probably loves them too much because they hide a lot still right now. Grissy seems to be the exception - he loves wee one yet fears him at the same time. The first couple of days home Ade would scream with fright whenever they came in the room...now he talks about them all the time...especially if we are out. He loves to come home and see them waiting at the door for us.

He is learning words daily! Apple being his favourite word! Apple represents all food so when he is hungry he will say "apple, apple, apple". Food was big trigger for him when we first arrived home. It was awful to watch such a wee babe getting so upset over food. We realized in short order he didn't see meals prepared so when he realized the fridge was where food came from he would stand there and cry all day. Some days he still gets upset if the food doesn't come fast enough but in general he is understanding more and more the food will be there.

When we first got home, he would have eaten anything we put in front of him except bread or crackers. Then all he would eat was bread and crackers. Now we seem to have a nice balance. I still wonder where the child who would eat red peppers and avocado went (ha ha ha) but for the most part he is eating a good selection of foods. He is now picky though so some days he won't eat at all. Well except Apples, he will always eat apples!

He has probably close to 40 words. Car, truck, kitty, puppy, bird, outside, boots, shoes, papa, mama, apple, banana, diaper, potty, bath, grandma, grandpa, uncle, aunt, ball, teeth, eyes, ears, nose, hair, all done, me do, sit down, outside, walk etc...I don't think I will list all 40. His receptive skills are amazing...he understand so much more than he speaks. He is a smart little dude!

At 3 months home we are feeling more settled. Certainly better than when we first came home which is to be expected. There are still hard days (mostly mine) as we adjust to one another. Some days when the 2's rear their ugly head and the tantrums come out in full force you think "Really, I asked for this?"

Being a parent is hard work - harder than anyone can ever tell you but when you see your child making gains and growing each day it is rewarding and can make your heart swell.

First Days in Ethiopia

Home at Last!

Ethiopian Canadian Kids

2011-04-28T10:17:00.003-06:00

I have a friend who has a great website for Ethiopian Canadian Kids.

Most of the events scheduled are for Manitoba but there is lots of other good stuff for families all across our great Canadian landscape to utilize.

So go check it out!

Ethiopian Canadian Kids

The More Organized I Try To Get....

2011-04-27T11:19:00.004-06:00

...the more disorganized I feel.

How is this possible?

I feel like I am running in 100 different directions.

Trying to keep up to a 2 year old while doing laundry, cooking meals, getting in some "me" time, getting in some "husband" time, family get togethers, play dates, Citizenship paperwork.....

Not to mention the pile!

I have a pile on my kitchen table!

A pile!

I detest piles!

I am always bugging Yvan...quit piling stuff...and now!

The pile is mine!

I don't know what is in the pile!

I tried to reduce the size of the pile this weekend but only managed to make it bigger!

I'm feeling like this a lot lately !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You may have already noticed because all of my sentences end with these!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I need a holiday from the pile!

Go Canucks Go!!!!

2011-04-26T09:22:00.003-06:00

(Let this be the caveat that states I am not a hockey fan but because my Momma and Auntie live in Vancouver and do love hockey (especially the Canucks) this is for them. The cute hat and toque are courtesy Auntie Kerry! Tonight is game night and if the Canucks don't pull out all the stops they won't be moving on so hopefully this little cutie helps)

Manic Monday

2011-04-25T14:28:00.000-06:00

We all need to feel a little more like this!

Easter Sunday

2011-04-24T11:20:00.015-06:00

Confession Friday

2011-04-22T08:05:00.005-06:00

I confess it is a long weekend which means 3 days of having Yvan home to help me keep the wee one entertained!

I confess I went for cocktails with 2 fantastic girlfriends this week and it felt good to 1.) Have an adult drink (or two). 2.) Talk to people who get how hard parenting can be and laugh at our parent-fail moments.

I confess I may have gone a little overboard this week when shopping for Easter goodies to hide for the wee one. No chocolate but fun toys! Can't wait to hide stuff in the backyard Sunday morning for him to find.

I confess we had a busy day yesterday - 2 playdates and then a neighbourhood walk before bedtime. All of this activity makes for a tired boy.

I confess I played Paul Simon's "Graceland" for Ade the other day and he looked at me like I was nuts. Then I played Muse's "Uprising" and he rocked out! Fist pumping and everything! (Right now he is dancing like Mad to the Adele)

I confess the Easter Bunny may not have purchased any chocolate for the boy but he may have for mama and papa!!

I confess we still have hard days. I have to remind myself we have only been home 3 months (next week) and it is all still new for all 3 of us.

I confess we watched the newest Harry Potter movie last night.

I confess I am reading " The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo" right now....I hope it gets better because this first chapter is boring with a capital B! Anyone have any good book recommendations?

I confess we are wishing a Happy Easter and Earth Day to all!

Family Photo Sneak Peek

2011-04-21T16:10:00.006-06:00

We had family photos last weekend with Yvan's family! The gal who took our photos, Arlene Chambers, was wonderful!

It was really cold outside but Ade did so good! The adults were probably whinier then Ade was!

Here is a little sneak peek of what is to come!

(Click photo to embiggen)

Wordless Wednesday

2011-04-20T07:40:00.002-06:00

Manic Monday

2011-04-18T08:34:00.004-06:00

Excercise can make the difference between sanity and insanity

I find that when I get out and burn off some steam I feel much better.

I know this isn't breaking news or anything.

If I can get to the gym and do a work out or go to a yoga class and soothe my mind I can handle the day to day tasks far easier. This was true before we even had the wee one home.

Now that he is home I need to have that hour or so to clear my head and get the cobwebs out even more. But finding the time seems much more difficult these days.

When I don't work out I find I get tired faster, eat more craptastic food then ever, and feel sorry for myself in a gargantuan way!

So, I guess what I am asking for your help?

When do you find the time? How do you schedule it in?

Confession Friday

2011-04-15T08:10:00.003-06:00

I confess I almost didn't write this post today. I am feeling a lack of blog-lustre lately. Not sure what to do about it...have to ponder it for a while.

I confess it snowed here last night! SNOWED! Mid-April and it SNOWED! Um strike that!!! It is snowing while I type this! (Insert banging of head on kitchen table)

I confess I am feeling under-stimulated. I need to do something to evolve myself. Thinking about going back to school part-time and taking Pyschology classes and working towards my Psych degree focusing on PADS and PPD. The idea of going back to school at almost 40 is daunting though.

I confess I have been working on "Thank You Cards" for a long time. I used to be able to get stuff like that done quickly but that all changes with a wee one tugging at your pantleg asking you to "Elmo" (which means play).

I confess watching a 2 year old teethe is painful! Life is not easy whether you are 2, 22, or 72! Honestly, you can feel the pain as he grabs his head and cries and looks at you with a look that says "Uh, hello? A little help here would be nice because my gums are being RIPPED APART!!!"

I confess I go thru a couple of days a month where I think no one likes me and that I have no friends...then I get my monthly cycle and remember why I spent the last 2 days crying, feeling sorry for myself and eating everything in sight.

I confess we bought Apple TV and it is amazing! We can stream music and movies from our computer to our TV and they have some fantastic internet radio stations. Right now I am listening to some classic '80's tunes and they just played "The Cure" and "Depeche Mode" back to back. Sigh! Brings back my teenage days!

I confess we are having family photos done tomorrow!

I confess because we have Apple TV and then signed up for Netflix, I am now hooked on watching "Deadliest Catch". Seriously, crab fishing is so dangerous! Who knew!

I confess I am looking forward to the May long weekend because we will get to see my Momma and I miss her a lot! I wish she lived closer so we could spend time together more often.

Mother Nature's Cruelest Joke...

2011-04-12T09:23:00.003-06:00

..just might be teething (besides PMS, puberty and menopause)

Poor little guy is working on teeth number 5 & 6 since we arrived in Ethiopia 3 months ago.

Right now his 2 bottom canine teeth are half way up and his top 2 are just starting to make their way thru the gums.

Yesterday he could have filled a swimming pool with the drool...he has been feeling so awful and I think the fever came with the teeth pushing.

His temp. is back down to normal today thank goodness.

Thanks for all the well wishes and advice :) it was much appreciated!

Manic Monday

2011-04-11T15:22:00.002-06:00

One wee one

One fever of 38.4

Irritabililty, tiredness and not at all like himself =

One panicky mom!

No Manic Monday post!

All Work and No Play

2011-04-09T08:46:00.002-06:00

Confession Friday

2011-04-08T08:10:00.005-06:00

I confess we bought wee one a "My own leaptop" and he loves it. He is sitting at the table next to me with lap top singing, dancing and learning his alphabet while I write this post.

I confess we went swimming this week with Grandma and it was so much fun! Wee one loved it!!! A lot!

I confess it is the weekend and it looks to be very nice weather here so we are hoping to get out of doors lots.

I confess we have friends coming home from Ethiopia this weekend with their little baby girl and we are going to greet them at the airport! How different it will feel this time because we have our young son finally home with us!

I confess we booked a great seat sale out to the west coast for summer holidays thanks to a friend of mine. We were thinking of driving but 2 days of car travel with a 2 year old versus cheaper flights and 2 hour air travel seemed a much better idea.

I confess wee one and I are still in our p.j.'s this morning and it feels good :)

I confess it is ice cream time and the local drive up and park Dairy Queen is open for the season and I can't wait to go for a sundae with hot fudge and raspberry toppings.

I confess I haven't got much else to confess right now! Happy weekend to all!

T-Shirts for Sale!

2011-04-06T06:02:00.001-06:00

My friend Julie in L.A. is working hard to raise money for a school in the Kambata region of Ethiopia where her children are from.

She has already made her goal for the Library which we happily donated too.

I just bought 2 shirts for Yvan and me and the money goes to the Kololo school.

You can go here to buy yours!

She is also having a fundraiser evening April 17th - we wish we could be there but alas we must wait for the wee one to have his passport before go for a visit again.

On the Flip Side

2011-04-05T12:27:00.011-06:00

As a family, we get lots of looks. Whether it is all 3 of us out together or Yvan out with wee one alone or me...we get looks.

Yvan has noticed them from the moment we got home. I didn't as much because of the haze I was in but I certainly do now. And even after I came out of the haze I just think I didn't pay attention to it. Until recently where I have been noticing the looks more.

We both noticed it in Ethiopia. Mainly because our hearts were breaking each day as we thought of the day we would fly home and Ade would be leaving his homeland. It literally was the hardest thing to wrap our heads around. One day, when I am ready, I will tell the story of leaving the transition home with him but for now that must remained tucked in my heart.

Many Ethiopians greeted Ade with hugs and kisses! They love their children over there. They are not afraid to give affection to any little ones they see. It is certainly is a "village raising a child" instinct and so wonderful to experience.

There were times people told us how wonderful it was we were adopting him and taking him to Canada. We both hadn't a clue what to say! How do you say to someone who is so happy for him and outright showing it how wrong they are. We are the ones who feel lucky. Lucky to have this wee little dude in our life bringing a whole new energy and perspective.

On the flip side, we also encountered people who clearly did not agree with adoption. It was never said with words. A look can be very powerful and body language says what a million words never could. We completely understood their reaction. It would not be easy watching future generations leave the country to go elsewhere raised by families who do not know the culture of their birth country. We could have told them how we will teach our son about his country and to be proud of his heritage. We wanted to tell them we will make trips back as much as we can so he can see where he started his young life but we didn't. It wouldn't have come across the way we wanted it too. We can only hope we don't let them or him down on this front.

Now we are home and starting to mesh as a family. I think the more comfortable we feel with him the more it shows outwardly to the world. This in turns makes people who don't know us feel they can talk freely to us. (I think people were scared to approach me the first month we were home because of the panic in my eyes that said "I have a kid and he is 2 and I don't know anything about parenting at 2 year old so stay out of my way".)

I believe most people are curious which is natural. We have been lucky in that no one has been outright disrespectful or rude to us but I am sure we will one day encounter an awkward situation or too. As Nicky so eloquently writes there are definitely things to say and things NOT to say to an adoptive family.

This is an example of what not to say:

Sunday afternoon we bundled the wee one up and headed out for a stroll around the neighbourhood to get out of the house for a bit. There is a charming little coffee shop just a few blocks a way and since the wind was chilly we decided to head their for a coffee/tea/snack break. As soon as we entered the shop we got a whole bunch of "Awww look at him, he is sooooo cute" remarks. We get this a lot. But for the most part people kept their distance.

One lady however, wanted to chat with us. She opened up the conversation with "We have friends who went over and got a little one from Africa." We asked where in Africa they had adopted but she didn't remember. She "oooh'd and awwwww'd" over wee one for a bit. As we were getting ready to leave she said to me "My daughter is trying to get pregnant and if they can't they are going to go get one". I said "You mean adopt a child?" And she said, "Yes, they will go over and get one".

After we left the coffee shop I told Yvan what the woman had said to me and we both conversed about how it was silly to think her daughter would "just go over and get one". I could have told her how long the wait can be. How much scrutiny you go through not to mention the mountains of paperwork needed. I should have shared our story about how it took 18 months to bring our son home after waiting 20 months for his referral. If we were feeling snarky we could have said "They don't have booths on the side of the road where you can stop and pick up a child." Which is where my mind went first when made her comment.

I didn't do any of these things.

Partly because I didn't feel like starting a debate or an argument in the coffee shop. We were having a lovely time out and I didn't want to ruin it by trying to teach a lesson to a well-intentioned but uneducated woman I didn't know from a hole in the ground.

Partly because I am sure she was going to tell her daughter she met a family who "got" their child from Africa and how she had told us about her. I can almost see her daughter's face as she told her she had told complete strangers they have been trying to have a baby and were considering "going to get a child" if they didn't get pregnant. Complete mortification I am sure.

And partly because I didn't have the time but had I the time I might have bought her a tea and sat her down.

On the flip side, we were out of town Saturday to visit Yvan's grandma, Ade's great-grandma. We went for lunch and while we were there a table of women behind us commented on Ade and how cute he was. Most everyone notices his eyelashes, which are envied by women everywhere we go!

One of the ladies looked at me and said "Aren't you lucky!"

It took me a moment to respond because this is not what most people say. Usually people comment about how lucky he is to have us for parents, a chance at a good life, yada, yada, but she got it!

She 100% got it!

She followed up this remark with "So many families would like to adopt and it is so hard these days. You are so lucky!"

She is right! We are lucky to have him and we know it!

Manic Monday

2011-04-04T08:14:00.014-06:00

The Upside of things is there will always be a downside!

Once upon a time, in land far, far, away (o.k. the land is where I have always lived) I had a roommate. This roommate was the most excellent roommate. I couldn't have asked for better really. His name was Terry and he and I were great friends. Terry was a wise soul...wise beyond his years.

One year for Christmas, Terry gave me a beautiful silver ring. Engraved inside the ring was the following inscription:

This too shall pass

We lived together when I was in my mid-20's and as everyone knows (or maybe they don't) your 20's can be a hard period. Trying to figure out who you are and what you want to be in life. (Although now I know this can be something you spend your whole life doing.) Terry really helped me sort myself out and encouraged me to go after what I wanted.

He explained to me the meaning of "This too shall pass" because honestly I hadn't heard the expression before. He said: "When things are going horribly remember 'This too shall pass' but also when things are going well 'This too shall pass'. In essence what I am trying to say is; times will be good and times will be bad but they always pass."

It is a saying I have carried with me since. When I am stuck in a rut and it just doesn't seem like things are going my way I say to myself "This too shall pass" and it makes me feel much better. On the flip side when I am feeling on top of the world and like nothing will ever bring me down I am sure to remind myself "This too shall pass".

I don't do it to be a pessimist or a come across a downer.

But it's true. Life is not a constant. It has its ups and downs.

Like a roller coaster ride.

The best quote I ever heard was in the movie "Parenthood" where the Grandma talks about her husband taking her on a roller coaster when she was 19.

She says: "I always wanted to go again. You know, it was just so interesting to me that a ride could make me so frightened, so scared, so sick, so excited, and so thrilled all together! Some didn't like it. They went on the merry-go-round. That just goes around. Nothing. I like the roller coaster. You get more out of it."

And it is true! The roller coaster ride is fun.

However, after the last couple of years a couple of turns on the merry-go-round doesn't seem so bad. Even if it were just for 5 minutes. But the thing to remember is - there will always be an up and then a down - just like a roller coaster. There might be some flat spots but they are just a pit stop before the excitement and life lessons waiting to be had.

Last week, I didn't post a Manic Monday post because I was in the middle of a down. Not a down like when we first came home. I hope to never have that feeling of panic and doom again. The week prior we had a really good week! An "I'm king of the world" week. We were clicking, getting our groove on, having fun and I forgot for that moment "This too shall pass".

It isn't a bad thing I forgot. I actually think it is good I let it slip from my mind because it allowed us, more specifically me, to really start attaching. I'm not saying the attaching and bonding haven't been there. Its just we are all dancing around each other trying to figure out how this is going to work. I will leave this topic of attachment for a separate "Manic Monday" post because it really deserves its own post.

There are certainly things I want to share and it is why I have been writing about my experiences with PADS. However, there are times, feelings and thoughts which just can't be shared. I started out writing these 'Manic' posts because I felt alone and wanted to see if anyone else could identify with me. Thankfully, I am not alone, I don't wish anyone else to feel this way but if you do feel it and are experiencing it, it's good to know there are people who 'get it'.

But there is a young son involved and I don't ever want him to read these posts some day in the future and think "I did this to my mom". "I made her feel this way". In no way is this true. It was the circumstances leading up to him coming home which let to these events. I know this. He must know this too.

So, last week, I had a couple of bad days. As I have already said not as bad as when we first got home, but definitely down days. This is too be expected. PADS or PPD doesn't go away overnight. It takes time. On average it can take about 4 months all the way through to a year to feel fully like yourself again, (According to some reading I have been doing on the topic) to feel the panic and overwhelmingness of it all dissipate.

Some say wait until 6 months to evaluate anything in your new family - like here. I think she is bang on. I think it could take longer for some but certainly don't evaluate anything in the first couple of months home.

I chose to keep the details to myself on the off chance I happened to sit at my computer and spew the contents of mind and hit enter. I know I could remove the post if I felt it was too much but it is the internet after all and "What happens on the internet stays on the internet". It's not like it was so bad I couldn't write about it but in the heat of moment, like in an arguement, things can be said that later would bring regret.

The thing to remember is - The ups and downs are normal.

They do not mean you aren't healing, growing, gaining...you are doing the work. It is really hard work.

The ups and downs will be there...like a roller coaster.

This too shall pass!

Confession Friday

2011-03-31T21:17:00.010-06:00

I confess I didn't write a Manic Monday post because sometimes it is better not to say the things you are feeling/thinking and instead just let them pass.

I confess the sun came out today and the wee one and I went for a long walk around the river with a good friend and her baby.

I confess I had a date with Javier Bardem last night. I went to see his movie "Biutiful" and it was fantastic. He was fantastic! It has been so long since I have been to 1.)see a foreign film 2.) a movie by myself.

I confess I enjoy going to see a movie by myself now and then because 1.) You get to choose the movie and no one argues with you. 2.) You get to choose where in the theatre you get to sit - I like the front couple of rows 3.) No one talks to you so you can completely and utterly get lost in the film you are watching. (This is especially important when the film is subtitled like last night's movie was.) 4.) you get the popcorn all to yourself!

I confess I started back to yoga tonight after a long, long break and it felt so good to stretch and contort myself in unusual ways!!!

I confess we are going to see Bruce Cockburn on Sunday night and I am really looking forward to it.

I confess our wee boy is a funny little dude and makes us laugh daily!

I confess Blogger has been driving me crazy lately! It seems to have a mind of its own and it is pissing me off to no end!

I confess I am totally disillusioned by our political system right now and really am not sure voting for one particular party or another will make a difference. I will vote...don't get me wrong but the choices we have leave something to be desired. I also think the timing of this election is atrocious! Spring Election! Blech! I hate all those signs in people's yard...and for some reason the first ones to go up are always NDP. Why is that? (This statement does not allude to some kind of political bias.) And really aren't there more important things happening on the world stage right now and our government is basically at a stand still and can't participate or take action.

I confess you should read this post.

The T-Shirt Says It All

2011-03-31T07:48:00.009-06:00

Channeling his inner Elvis maybe? Or Billy Idol?

Ya, Billy that's it!

Last summer my friend Laura came for a visit with her husband Chad and their daughter Sara.

She gave us these fabulous t-shirts for Ade.

The top t-shirt he wore when we walked thru the airport doors to greet our friends and family.

Laura and her family are waiting to bring home their wee son Seth who is a couple months younger than Ade. Their journey has been a long, tough process as well and I think of them everyday!

Please send some positive thoughs and prayers their way so Seth can come home to his family!

Wordless Wednesday

2011-03-30T12:41:00.001-06:00

Nice, Cold Beer - Check!

2011-03-25T21:26:00.001-06:00

Confession Friday

2011-03-25T07:42:00.005-06:00

I confess today I am feeling sad and lonely.

I confess it has been a long week and while I was feeling the upside of things last week this week has been more of a slight slide downhill.

I confess I don't think it will ever be spring or summer here where I live. It is -16 this morning.

I confess there is a direct link between my mood and the weather. Because if I have nothing lined up for the week and I can't get outside for a walk at the very least it leaves me very sad indeed.

I confess this confession isn't as upbeat as last week. This leads me to believe the PPD support group leaders are right...there will be ups and there will be downs...

I confess I was happy to see MOWA issuing letters to families this week....now we just need to get everyone their letters...there are people who have been waiting way to long to be united with their children.

I confess it is date night Friday. This is something to look forward to.

I confess I could use a trip somewhere hot and tropical. Preferably where they serve drinks with umbrellas in them.

I confess I went to Costco last night with my sis-in-law and only spent $45...uh, ya $45!!!! That is some kind of miracle!

I confess thanks to a my excellent friend Lori I now have one new CD in my car stereo!

I confess it has been a long time since I escaped into a good book and I need to get my read on!

I confess I could really use a nice cold beer tonight!

Wordless Wednesday

2011-03-23T08:09:00.001-06:00

Manic Monday

2011-03-21T12:08:00.008-06:00

'The first six weeks is all about survival.'

These are the words of wisdom I received from a friend in an email after we first got home...actually I think she said this to me right before we left too.

Words to remember!

I kept my eye on that number. When we arrived home I actually looked at the calendar and said to myself "Right, 6 weeks from today we will be much better!"

I started to worry at about 4 weeks....because I was right smack, dab in the middle of my crash and I thought....6 weeks! Crazy talk! There was no way this was ever going to feel better in 6 weeks or 6 years.

Slowly, ever so slowly, as I started talking to people and blogging about it I started to feel the haze lift. It's the best to describe how I was feeling...hazy! I think back to the first few weeks home and it is all foggy. I can't quite remember what happened or how we made it through each day. Nothing felt real like I was having an out of body experience. Just watching from a distance.

Today we were back at the peds doctor for a follow up appointment from when we were first got home and we both felt like we were clearer. Present. In the now.

I do know the weekend of being home 6 weeks we made plans to get out of the house more. We verbally said to ourselves "We need to get out more! We need to make plans, we need to not be afraid any longer!" We decided it was time to live life as we saw it.

We had always talked about how Ade would fit into our life and not the other way around. Of course, there is give and take. There needs to be routine for him as well so he feels comfort in knowing what will happen. But we also needed to live and get out and do the things we had enjoyed.

So we took him with us...on the Sunday of our 6 weeks home we skipped nap time at home. Put the wee lad in his stroller and headed out for a walk. We stopped and grabbed coffees for our walk-about and 10 minutes in the wee one was out like a light!

Napping! In his stroller! While we walked and talked and lived our life! Amazing!

Of course he did. He had done in Ethiopia. We were very rarely at the guest house. We were out discovering the country our boy came from and he was right there with us. Why should it be any different now that we are home in Canada?

It shouldn't be! And it won't be.

Of course we will give him structure and routine. Only the routine we give him will also give him adventure, discovery and fun along the way. As long as he gets his naps and snacks does it matter where he has them? Not to us.

He grows with each new encounter. He loves to go for car rides and in the stroller. How do I know? Because when we put our coat and shoes on he grabs his to make sure we are taking him too. He pats the stroller seat when we get ready to go for a walk.

I digress.

This is about the 6 week survival.

It was sitting in the park looking at the river, with our son napping in his stroller and holding my husband's hand as we chatted about what our future held with our kidlet, that I realized I was breathing again. The haze had lifted and I could see what was ahead without panic, without fear.

In its place was a new layer to our life which hadn't existed before.

It is true.

The first 6 weeks are about survival. Making sure everyone eats and sleeps. It is a time of strangers getting to know each other. Because essentially that is exactly what we were...and to a degree still are. We are doing the courtship dance...only this courtship is instant and you are living with the one you are courting from day one. Can you imagine if you had done this with your spouse? It wouldn't be easy. Not at all!

The first 6 weeks were a struggle. No two ways about it.

Once we established his sleeping schedule and what he liked to eat it made a huge difference. Thankfully we have a good sleeper and an amazing eater. Could this change? Yes, but now we are getting accustomed to one another so these changes or transitions will be easier. Still difficult but never as difficult as those first weeks home.

Now we have taken back control of our lives. We lost it to our own fear. We are going out to people's houses and we are having family and friends over to our house.

We know this isn't for everyone so early in the game. It highly depends on you and your child. Our boy loves it! We love it! We get closer from each adventure.

For now, we are breathing.

Deep breaths from the pit of our stomachs.

It feels good.

We are finding our breath, in unison, as a family of 3!

The Smile That Melts A 1000 Hearts

2011-03-20T15:13:00.003-06:00

Confession Friday

2011-03-18T07:25:00.001-06:00

I confess I have been listening to the same 6 cds in my car for the last year and a half. I am really annoyed with those cds now but I am too lazy to change them to new ones.

I confess I had preconceived notions of what our family should look like. I don't know where they came from but I have let them go.

I confess I put all the adoption books on bonding and attachment away. In the basement...and I won't look at them for a while so that we can go back to parenting by instinct.

I confess this week has been a better because we did the above.

I confess I had a beer Sunday night at our family supper and it tasted GOOD!

I confess we went for Ethiopian food last Saturday night with the wee one and some very good friends. A good time was had by all! Wee one ate his face off...and he was so good in the restaurant. Yay!

I confess the wee one's tummy is getting better....all the parasites have left the building with the exception of Giardia and the meds have been started and it is already getting better! Double yay!

I confess spring seemed to be springing and then it snowed two nights ago! Sheesh! Enough already!

I confess feeding 8 toddlers icing sugar (on top of mini-muffins) for snack at playgroup is hilarious....insanity ensues! (it wasn't me but ha ha ha it was funny!)

I confess wee one and I are starting to become quite the team...and we are having fun!

I confess Yvan is the best husband in the universe!!!! I love him lots and so does the wee one!

I confess I am hosting a "Girls' Night In" tonight for a bunch of Mommas and Momma-to-bes and I am looking forward to a good gab session and some good eats!!!

I confess I am getting the itch to build a new house and THAT my friends made Yvan VERY happy!

I confess I am outta here to enjoy the weekend with my family!!!!